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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    We haven't had that since the stone age. But on the bright side we also evolved since then into something different with different expectations. Not necessarily better, just different. We are becoming less like animals, less of a slave to our animalistic instincts, for good or bad.
    We didn't evolve from stone age. Only tools did.

  2. #52
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Have you ever had a broken heart before this, Kelemvor?
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    Have you ever had a broken heart before this, Kelemvor?
    No.

  4. #54
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    It is extremely rough, I can empathize with truly having your heart broke apart.

    But there is something to be said for getting through it....
    I'm quite sure you don't want to hear it right now. Maybe it sounds like diminishing your feelings.
    It is hard for me to explain, but, to feel those depths and endure it all... can leave someone with a kind of... grace, I think.
    In some cases.

    Take heart.
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I really have compassion for you, except for when you say things like this ... you sound extremely selfish and mentally unstable.
    Perhaps I am.

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I would be MUCH more on your side if you were still in a relationship with her and she had lied or cheated on you. But the cold, hard fact remains that you dumped her. You ended the relationship. From that point forward you have no claims to revenge. Your attitude of revenge only makes sense if you were still with her and she was unfaithful or cruel to you in some way. Not only that, but you seemed to have no problem having an affair with her while she was married. What if her husband had murdered both of you?

    I left BECAUSE she was married, and didn't wish her harm. I did not dump her...and she knew it.
    I said that I was always loving her and I will but If we keep on, the separation will only be more hurtful.
    But in some way...you're right...

    I had problem having affair with her...it's the reason why I left...

    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I understand that you're in pain, but your obsession with revenge is completely unfounded. The reason why I have used such harsh language with you is because I don't believe that someone in your particular frame of mind should be mollycoddled - you really, really need to use your head for a minute.
    I don't know...
    Maybe I'm just needing appeasement and thinking that what I want to do will bring it to me - Yes, it's would be incredibly selfish... - Maybe not.

    But right now...I'm feeling good. Not for long I suppose...

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    It is extremely rough, I can empathize with truly having your heart broke apart.

    But there is something to be said for getting through it....
    I'm quite sure you don't want to hear it right now. Maybe it sounds like diminishing your feelings.
    It is hard for me to explain, but, to feel those depths and endure it all... can leave someone with a kind of... grace, I think.
    In some cases.

    Take heart.
    Thank you !

    I already know what you are meaning. But you are wrong, I would have those feelings even if it happened in a different context.

  7. #57
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    It is extremely rough, I can empathize with truly having your heart broke apart.

    But there is something to be said for getting through it....
    I'm quite sure you don't want to hear it right now. Maybe it sounds like diminishing your feelings.
    It is hard for me to explain, but, to feel those depths and endure it all... can leave someone with a kind of... grace, I think.
    In some cases.

    Take heart.
    Km, I think perhaps Vasilisa's thoughts may carry much merit. I think-someone please help here-the first time you get your heart broken it feels terrible, horrible, overwhelmingly painful. I have only had this happen once. It made me totally crazy for about three few weeks. I had an emotional breakdown of sorts.

    I couldnt figure out what was the right thing to feel or think. I would go from feeling so hurt and confused to very angry and defensive to feeling I was horribly flawed and defective. The oddest part-this is an Ne dom thing I think-I really could not identify what the right course of action was. I could not trust or have faith that my decisions were actually sound. Even more odd-my decisions from moment to moment would actually contridict each other. One minute it was all my fault-the next it was all the other person's fault. One moment I wanted to apologize profusely, then next scream in agony and anger. The pain was overwhelming my ability to rationalize in anyway.

    The trick maybe-Vasilisa's point-that once you go through this once, the next time it happens, you at least understand what to expect-so it isnt quite so bad as the first time? You know that eventually the pain will ease and stability will return as you have time to process out all of the things you feel. So it isnt quite so scary the next time around?

    All of those feelings are valid, real, authentic and painful-yet the actions you choose as a result of those feelings are what really reflects upon your core essence-who you really are.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kelemvor View Post
    I left BECAUSE she was married, and didn't wish her harm. I did not dump her...and she knew it.
    I said that I was always loving her and I will but If we keep on, the separation will only be more hurtful.
    But in some way...you're right...

    I had problem having affair with her...it's the reason why I left...
    This makes me glad to read. You tried to establish Te boundaries for your own and her emotions to protect you both, anticipating the future harm that could result from continuation of your actions. You gave her a direct Te ultimatum of sorts-end this or make it something real-that doesnt seem to be how Fe works though, but I cant really speak to it. But yes, I would have done the same thing in this situation.

    You have to be careful with your anger
    -recognize how it feels like a dragon inside of you and is a source of incredible strength and fortitude. I think ENFPs can funnel our strong emotions through Te to give them structure. When backed into a corner we can become very aggressive defensively.

    Likely this "dragon core" is very important in helping us fight for just causes, stand up for the rights of others, and give us strength in times of hurt or adversity. We will stand above and beyond the crowd and fly in the face of social norms to help relieve the pain of the other using this strength.

    But if you use this dragon core, this deep strength, to lash out at others to relieve your own pain (temporarily I might add, as that pain will return), in revenge, you are abusing that gift, that strength. It is not what you were designed to do, thus later will burden you with immense feelings of remorse and guilt, sorrow and pain. It flies directly in the face of your Fi-which directs you to relieve the suffering of others.

    As hard as it is, I always try and quench this deep anger as I, like you it seems, have that strength in abundance. I have found the hard way, that by lashing out in anger I can hurt other people very deeply. It is unkind and I am left horrified by the results.

    Stick around with us. We will hold your hand while you hurt.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Km, I think perhaps Vasilisa's thoughts may carry much merit. I think-someone please help here-the first time you get your heart broken it feels terrible, horrible, overwhelmingly painful. I have only had this happen once. It made me totally crazy for about three few weeks. I had an emotional breakdown of sorts.

    I couldnt figure out what was the right thing to feel or think. I would go from feeling so hurt and confused to very angry and defensive to feeling I was horribly flawed and defective. The oddest part-this is an Ne dom thing I think-I really could not identify what the right course of action was. I could not trust or have faith that my decisions were actually sound. Even more odd-my decisions from moment to moment would actually contridict each other. One minute it was all my fault-the next it was all the other person's fault. One moment I wanted to apologize profusely, then next scream in agony and anger. The pain was overwhelming my ability to rationalize in anyway.
    Now...imagine this state during for months. Do you really think that you'll take it just as lesson and make head away like nothing happened ? (Not that you could anyway)
    That's not about heartbreak...It's upon inflicting suffering and being conscious of our acts for reasons that are not valid for me, really not...and keeping on doing it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    The trick maybe-Vasilisa's point-that once you go through this once, the next time it happens, you at least understand what to expect-so it isnt quite so bad as the first time? You know that eventually the pain will ease and stability will return as you have time to process out all of the things you feel. So it isnt quite so scary the next time around?

    All of those feelings are valid, real, authentic and painful-yet the actions you choose as a result of those feelings are what really reflects upon your core essence-who you really are.
    I see.
    But I doubt there will be a "next time".


    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    This makes me glad to read. You tried to establish Te boundaries for your own and her emotions to protect you both, anticipating the future harm that could result from continuation of your actions. You gave her a direct Te ultimatum of sorts-end this or make it something real-that doesnt seem to be how Fe works though, but I cant really speak to it. But yes, I would have done the same thing in this situation.
    Exactly !
    You have great knowledge of the mechanism of the Fe strangely. But I am not going to complain about it !
    Indeed that decision hurt her a lot more than I expected. And her feelings at that moment made me greatly regret it...
    I didn't thought she was that sensible. She never shown it in any case...
    It's after that exact moment that she changed, and became strangely cold.
    I would give anything to discover what happened on her mind...

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    You have to be careful with your anger[/B]-recognize how it feels like a dragon inside of you and is a source of incredible strength and fortitude. I think ENFPs can funnel our strong emotions through Te to give them structure. When backed into a corner we can become very aggressive defensively.
    You feel it too...

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Likely this "dragon core" is very important in helping us fight for just causes, stand up for the rights of others, and give us strength in times of hurt or adversity. We will stand above and beyond the crowd and fly in the face of social norms to help relieve the pain of the other using this strength.

    But if you use this dragon core, this deep strength, to lash out at others to relieve your own pain (temporarily I might add, as that pain will return), in revenge, you are abusing that gift, that strength. It is not what you were designed to do, thus later will burden you with immense feelings of remorse and guilt, sorrow and pain. It flies directly in the face of your Fi-which directs you to relieve the suffering of others.
    This cause is just enough for me !
    If they can inflict such pain on me, they can do it on others.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    As hard as it is, I always try and quench this deep anger as I, like you it seems, have that strength in abundance. I have found the hard way, that by lashing out in anger I can hurt other people very deeply. It is unkind and I am left horrified by the results.
    What you experienced was nothing !
    At a certain stage and in certain situations, this anger quenched for so long will unleash and devour your soul totally, it will blind all of your senses, you'll be just a slave serving her. but gives you incredible power in counterpart.
    In my case it did not happen yet at least not completely, but I fear that it's just matter of time...
    I just felt a small part of it and it didn't lasted long.
    When it happen, you will not feel remorse any more. I will not lie to you...it's not an unpleasant sensation.

    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    Stick around with us. We will hold your hand while you hurt.
    That's very kind of you, and I am extremely grateful !

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