Kelemvor, I'm sorry your heart aches. If I may take a guess at why your INFJ got furiously angry, I get very upset when people spread details of my private life to other people without my consent. Of course it is a fact of life, but I wonder if maybe some of us INFJs get more upset about this than most people due to our private nature.
She said she would never leave her marriage for you, right? Well, perhaps she didn't. Obviously there was something dysfunctional in her marriage, if she allowed herself to be seduced by you or fall in love with you or whatever. If she was with that other man, too, at some point she must have realized her marriage was not fulfilling. You may not have been the cause of her divorce, but a symptom of the fundamental problem in the marriage.
I wonder if your INFJ might just need some time to be free of a relationship. In my life, I seem to have gone from one serious long relationship to another. Is she like that? Never alone for very long? We have a lot to give, but it can be difficult when we still need to find a way to grow ourselves.