It's strange... there's a week when I am high on energy and joy and then comes a day when I feel like someone goes with the vacuum cleaner behind my back and sucks in all the energy that's left, while the joy transforms to the weird idea of anger... feelings all these feelings everywhere!
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. E. A. Poe
'Consciousness is not simply a sensory-perceptual affair, a matter of mental imagery, as the contents of our mind would have us believe. It is deeply enmeshed with the brain mechanisms that automatically promote action readiness' - Jaak Panksepp
She knows what the problem is. The situation is really all my fault, because I do care for her and enjoy her company I accept her invitations. She thinks this means that I'm over it, but I end up feeling like shit for days after spending time with her. I need to think of the future and pass this invitation and all future ones up. I really hate letting go of people who mean something to me.