I like it, I should visit that state more often. Acknowledging a lack of control can be a beautiful thing.
'Consciousness is not simply a sensory-perceptual affair, a matter of mental imagery, as the contents of our mind would have us believe. It is deeply enmeshed with the brain mechanisms that automatically promote action readiness' - Jaak Panksepp
Self-disgust, for no reason that I can identify as adequate. A vague feeling that part of myself is trying to strangle another part, or simply that there's a lack of something inside and the rest of myself is caving in around the void.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” - Hermann Hesse