One downside to loving somebody with everything you've got is that when it's over, you are left with this tumor inside of you, it walks with you, sleeps with you, eats with you, breathes with you. It takes up all the space for anything else. It leaves you hollow yet heavy at the same time. It makes you realize that something so essential and profound of you has forever escaped you, and replaced by this nameless heaviness that gravitates you from thoughts that set you on a path back to happiness.
"sometimes I think I've felt everything I'm ever gonna feel and from here on out I'm not gonna feel anything new, just lesser versions of what I've already felt."
I wish I could tell people that I'm either numb half of the time or in pain the other half of the time. But their "why", "what, and "how", or the looks on their faces, or their consolations and advice would exhaust me.
Mask. Put on a mask.
And it might just take one song for it all to fall apart.
| | | If it is god who makes man, this is the devil finishing touches | | |