User Tag List

Page 846 of 1258 FirstFirst ... 346746796836844845846847848856896946 ... LastLast
Results 8,451 to 8,460 of 12578

Thread: What are you feeling right now?

  1. #8451
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp
    Socionics
    INFj Ne
    Posts
    787

    Default

    I am feeling so lazy as of late, it feels like I'm just existing and not much else. All the things I was going to do... I'll do another day, or perhaps another year... laziness bothers me, I must force myself to become productive! But how can you when you're lazy?

  2. #8452
    LadyLazarus
    Guest

    Default

    Moody.

  3. #8453
    Temporal Mechanic. Array Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,182

    Default kodak negatives.

    What am I feeling right now?

    Trying to figure that out, I guess.

    Drained, physically & mentally.

    My aunt & uncle were found dead in their home last week after we'd sent the police over on the second welfare-check this month. They'd been dead a few days. A couple family members were gonna drag them to rehab again this weekend. They were both horrendous alcoholics like I've never seen before. My uncle's side of the family came from money, so my aunt & uncle were able to hide out in their castle, supporting their addiction until it killed them both. I was close to my aunt as a child, but distanced myself slowly as her alcoholism worsened. Shared some long nights here and there on the phone with her over recent years. We had some good discussions before she was chronically incoherent. Mutual understanding about where we both came from, in a way. Something I'd really needed, I think.

    I wish it helped her, too.
    She was only 49.


    I sort of expected this to happen, and it sucks, but at least their pain is over now. If someone is hellbent on self-destruction, it's incredibly difficult to save them from themselves. Especially if they have a partner to spiral down with. Reinforce. Enable. (Buzzwords.) So, at least their pain is over. Now. I know that might sound cold. I tend not to react to this stuff. Deal with what needs to be dealt with in the moment/make sure everyone's okay... because I know they're not. Be present.

    Been helping out as much as I can, looking after my mom, and my grandparents. Listening. Holding people.
    Feeling my grandfather's shoulders tremble a little when I hug him. It fucking breaks my heart.
    Running various errands. Hiding firearms so my grandmother doesn't hurt herself- she's always been pretty unstable. Picking up personal items out of my aunt's decaying house- sentimental objects people requested. Getting legal advice and working out the funeral arrangements. Was requested we have the wake the same place we had my brother's. Honestly not looking forward to that (not that I'd look forward to a wake, regardless). I've always gone out of my way to avoid even driving by that place.. wakes up a few too many sleeping specters in my head. Pulse picks up whenever they stir. Time bends. Stops.
    Oh well. It is what it is.
    And it's only a building. In the end.
    And time doesn't stop.


    Part of the arrangements included getting some old photos together.

    Just spent the past 41/2 hours straight sifting through every last family photo we had in the house for the 'right' ones.
    I think that got to me, a bit.

    I don't know what to feel. Life is bittersweet. No, bitter's not the apt term. Life is interlaced with so much joy. Love. Pain. Death. Fear. Adventure. Growth. Words. Love.
    So many pictures of my brother and father, who are also "gone." I don't actually look at the past often. That aspect of my past, rather. Perhaps I fear getting lost, there.
    Photos from a brief period when we lived with my aunt. And our summers with her.
    Dreamlike memories. Colored. Blurred. Sharp. Dull. Distant. A moment ago.



    Some clouded sadness peering over the horizon, like the hint of a fog. Not quite moving forward. Not gaining. Not quite present. A static haze on the farthest edge of my thoughts.
    I guess that's something I might be feeling.


    Maybe I just need to get some sleep.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  4. #8454
    Biting Shards Array Dr Mobius's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    STYX
    Enneagram
    7w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    699

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Star View Post
    Really?
    I've often felt ignored on here, actually. I would have left a long time back in fact, if it weren't for my need to vent out my frustrations over my academics during the past spring semester.
    I wouldn’t read too much into that, it’s the nature of both the internet in general, and this site. People come here in search of something, often because they’re too awkward and uncomfortable, unwilling or unable to attain it IRL. This seems to lead in turn to an atmosphere where casual conversation is held in its place; because how much of it can you really justify when people are having such serious conversations? The problem with this is casual conversation is a starting point for interaction, without it you are left to bond over serious causes/personal issues, which means potentially sharing deeply held and personal perspective up to a general scrutiny. Or direct interaction with unknown users, and the fear of rejection.

    The only disruption to this appears to be Vent, which seems to foster a more casual relationship amongst its participants. Perhaps it might be your cup of tea? I tried it but I managed to completely freeze up, and became that incredibly-awkward-embarrassing-guy-who-no one-knows-and-isn’t-talking-fly-on-the-wall.

    So perhaps instead we should try this: Hello MorningStar; I’m Dr Mobius, I enjoy reading your posts. I’m a terribly ordinary person, who adores turtles, and is deeply terrified of the inevitable day when they will rise up and take over the world. Please feel free to VM me for a conversation if you’re feeling a bit left out, I’m usually up for a casual conversation.

    *********************

    Bone tired, soul tired, just empty.
    Even when the sun is shining, I can't avoid the lightning Oh, where did the blue skies go? And why is it raining so?

  5. #8455
    Healer-in-Training Array Morning Star's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    1,345

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr Mobius View Post
    I wouldn’t read too much into that, it’s the nature of both the internet in general, and this site. People come here in search of something, often because they’re too awkward and uncomfortable, unwilling or unable to attain it IRL. This seems to lead in turn to an atmosphere where casual conversation is held in its place; because how much of it can you really justify when people are having such serious conversations? The problem with this is casual conversation is a starting point for interaction, without it you are left to bond over serious causes/personal issues, which means potentially sharing deeply held and personal perspective up to a general scrutiny. Or direct interaction with unknown users, and the fear of rejection.

    The only disruption to this appears to be Vent, which seems to foster a more casual relationship amongst its participants. Perhaps it might be your cup of tea? I tried it but I managed to completely freeze up, and became that incredibly-awkward-embarrassing-guy-who-no one-knows-and-isn’t-talking-fly-on-the-wall.

    So perhaps instead we should try this: Hello MorningStar; I’m Dr Mobius, I enjoy reading your posts. I’m a terribly ordinary person, who adores turtles, and is deeply terrified of the inevitable day when they will rise up and take over the world. Please feel free to VM me for a conversation if you’re feeling a bit left out, I’m usually up for a casual conversation.
    Thanks Dr Mobius not to worry though, I've decided to stay now.

    Also, I wouldn't see you as ordinary - any person who's deeply terrified of the day when turtles will rise up and take over the world would have to be pretty awesome in my book.
    Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible... and then some.

    MY BLOGS: https://freestylelines.blogspot.com/, https://tfthdiary.blogspot.com/
    TWITTER: https://twitter.com/angel_ss1
    TUMBLR: http://angelight1.tumblr.com/


  6. #8456
    Member Array PancakeMix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    MBTI
    ISFP
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    39

    Default

    I feel like murdering everything and everybody because I'm very angry and annoyed at my parents.

  7. #8457
    Alma Array five sounds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    729 sx/sp
    Socionics
    IEE Ne
    Posts
    5,370

    Default

    present and peaceful
    You hem me in -- behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.
    Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.


  8. #8458
    Male Array johnnyyukon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,880

    Default

    Far away and angry
    I've had this ice cream bar, since I was a child!

    Each thought's completely warped
    I'm like a walkin', talkin', ouija board.

  9. #8459
    hyggelig Array EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    173 so/sx
    Posts
    16,954

    Default

    My shoulders and neck hurt
    and it's nice enough to
    make a man
    weep, but I don't
    weep, do
    you?

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w6/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    lawful good (D&D) / ravenclaw or gryffindor (HP) / boros legion (M:TG)
    conscientious > sensitive > serious (oldham)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  10. #8460
    Symbolic Herald Array Vasilisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    4,099

    Default

    despair
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

Similar Threads

  1. [ISTP] Why am I feeling so emo?
    By sLiPpY in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 03-25-2016, 09:16 PM
  2. [NF] Introverted Feeling vs. Extraverted Feeling
    By Silence11 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 145
    Last Post: 08-17-2014, 08:56 PM
  3. [MBTItm] If you're feeling down...
    By Koocoomoo in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 10-12-2013, 03:02 PM
  4. [MBTItm] why do I get the feeling
    By whimsical in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 04-22-2009, 11:37 AM
  5. Feeling like you're alone
    By substitute in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 57
    Last Post: 10-15-2008, 12:36 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO