also annoyed with my coworker INFJ who left on vacation. He skips out of town after spending mountains of time on a task, and doing a so-so job of it.
why is it that if you take responsibility, you are blamed when the going is not good?
if you do not take responsibility and do a middling job, people give up on you and leave you alone. You can continue to skirt by without getting fired.
Like a drama queen who over-exaggerates her problems, as usual. I visited a psychiatrist, just once for the purpose of wondering if I am mentally ill, and she said that I am not. My issues are not mental health related. I dunno. I just thought that trying to kill myself a bunch of times, and choosing to have a low calorie limit would indicate some kind of mental problem. But I...I don't have symptoms. I don't have the symptoms for anything. Just. Drama queen.
I'm feeling extremely raw inside, like an internal sunburn, but also strong enough to help my sweetie today.
Edit: I'm just going to venture into the realm that lets go of logic and the tangible and say that after our extremely loving dog passed away last night, I can actually feel him inside me giving me strength to help his dear HilbertSpace. It feels different inside than the love and concern I felt before. It has the same feeling as our dog. It is like he is part of my mind. I get that it isn't something I can establish as a fact, but experientially it is significant, and it gives me strength, so I'll take it.
The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY