Despite feeling disappointed about some things in life, warm thoughts are occupying my mind right now, and I can't help but to get lost in this reverie. If only the power of thought could give a vision substance.
“Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
I think we sometimes forget we're not perfect people and we make mistakes. We're just ordinary people. We don't know which way to go. We can't assure perfect outcomes nor perfect behavior. The world is too chaotic for happy endings.
What saddens me though is when we criminalize people who have wronged us. I want to look at the shortcomings of others with love and compassion, understand the situation they were in, and accept them. I think it's only fair that I do the same for myself when I view my own shortcomings. Can I ask others to do the same for me? No, I don't think I can. I just have to accept that.
I got my smile from the sunshine,
I got my tears from the rain.
I learned to dance when I saw a tiger prance,
And a peacock taught me to be vain.
A little owl in a tree so high,
He taught me how to wink my eye.
I learned to bill and coo from a turtledove,
And a grizzly bear taught me how to hug.
But the guy that lived two caves from me,
He taught me how to love.
Faces from past experiences appear, and I recall all the downtrodden souls I've encountered. The murderer, the drug addict, the heart-broken alcoholic, the illiterate, the thief, the rapist. My family has felt the pain of their wrongdoing, very intimately. But these are people. These are people.
He didn't know who I was but I knew what he did to my family. I knew the pain he caused us. The pain he caused me. I watched him walking with unrestrained liberty to do as he pleased. Unpunished. Unaffected by his actions. But I couldn't hate him. I understood what was wrong with him. I saw the gray line between right and wrong. These are people and perhaps the reality of human interaction resides in the morally gray area. It isn't ideal but what I've seen doesn't allow me to see things black and white. I wish I could, it would be much simpler. Perhaps I'm too naive. And maybe out of naivety, I'm free to be compassionate. At the same time, perhaps I'm not naive. I've gotten to know these people, I know their stories.
I needed to depart from one of these gentlemen because my presence wasn't healthy for him at the moment. But, perhaps it's time I reach out to him again. It's the least I can do.