I'm feeling nervous and uncomfortable. I've been making fast progress toward a relationship, and it's requiring me to reveal things about myself that I hadn't planned to talk about at this point. What makes this particularly unpleasant is that, even though all I'm interested in is him, I have to keep talking about myself or else mislead him. I'm afraid he's going to start to think I'm a self-absorbed burden, both because of all that talk and my inability to move forward as quickly as he wants to. I'm also afraid that he's going to stop liking me, in light of what he learns.
But I'm going to try to adopt a positive attitude, which is somehow much easier having written all of that out. At the very least, it's possible that things will work in the end.
[ Ni > Ti > Fe > Fi > Ne > Te > Si > Se ][ 4w5 sp/sx ][ RLOAI ][ IEI-Ni ]
I'm a grateful that this thread was created, yet...
I feel this strange emptiness, and like most others it has no reason for being, but it lingers... pulling and yanking at every heart string it can find, just to have chaos for its own sake. I feel anxious and worried for the fact that I feel I have again wasted another chunk of my life on another illusion of content. I find it difficult to be happy, as I feel like I disappoint at every turn and every decision I make is spiralling me further into loneliness... and yet I know that I can survive if not because of Him, but my will, which can be crushed, but never destroyed.
Thank you for allowing me to write these things, I feel they have been here for a while and now perhaps some will leave.