To everyone who has been asking and not getting much back in the way of answers..
I hurt.. I hurt a lot.
Mentally.. I am tired, I can't think , I am confused. I feel stupid.. My synapses keep misfiring and too much important information is in the dead zone,. I hate my course and have wasted my time an money taking something I loathe.
Physically I am burnt out .. My body aches daily.. My knees are so arthritic I have trouble walking. My lungs are dying and now it seems I might have a hernia or a pinched sciatic nerve.
Spiritually I am empty.. The only thing I believed in was love, and lately too many people have challenged my belief and won.
Love is my anchor.. so now I am drifting. which causes..............
Emotionally, I am insecure and full of self hate. I have withdrawn my affection and love from people because I believe I am a threat to them.
I am hurting so everything hurts.
I feel like many layers of repressed feelings are revealing themselves lately and now I have no choice but to deal with them. I'm also noticing new voids that I was unaware of before. A man revealed them to me the other night and I'm not sure if they were concealed all this time or if he was so magical that he instantly created them in one night. Basically I'm experiencing a whirlwind of emotion today. I wish I had a better poker face for work.
With dreamers, pure and simple, the imagination remains a vaguely sketched inner affair. It is not embodied in any aesthetic or practical invention. Reverie is the equivalent of weak desires. Dreamers are the aboulics of the creative imagination.