surprised, confused, embarrassed, feelings a bit hurt
"Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey
"In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled." Daniel 10:2-3
The desire for peace, a place to just be seems to be in conflict with my need to survive. Does one preclude the other? Can there be a place where they meet? Or will survival eliminate whatever peace there might be found only to turn and eliminate itself? Survival at this point may be over rated.