I am feeling tired of having to adapt to my family's values and standards. It is tiring to always try to be good in their eyes, because every single day, my mother tells me I have wronged the family in one way or another. She'll even call me to tell me that, or drive for hours only to visit me and tell me how ungrateful I am of all she did for me while growing up. It's so horribly tiring, and it has been stressing me tremendously. Also, I'm tired of being tired, and sick of being stressed.
However, I keep trying to hold my head up high, and things are gradually getting better. I am grateful that my father has become more accepting of my lifestyle and belief system, and that's making things easier.
Been feeling somewhat uncertain of two possible new friendships I thought I had made recently, and that's saddening me, because I truly appreciated one of those people. I'm feeling a little regretful for never telling her that I appreciated her, but one day I will. At least we cleared things up before we quit talking, but I'm still uncertain whether she's actually forgiven me. At least I've forgiven her, and I'm happy about that. It feels nice.
I'm hopeful that we will stay in touch, because she had many intelligent thought she shared with me, and we had more than a few interesting conversations, some of which kept on for hours. I just hope we're okay, but I'm still worried she didn't speak the truth when she said we were okay and that she appreciated me.
Feeling stressed since I'm moving, and I'll be starting with a new study program, along with moving in with this person I've only met a couple times before. Also a little annoyed that people keep saying "how exciting!" when I tell them about my life. It's definitely FAR from normal and standard, but exiting isn't the word to describe "stressing".
Man, that felt good!
"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today." ~ H. G. Wells
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." ~ C. S. Lewis
My head hurts and I'm depressed. As an ethical hedonist, pleasure is the one thing I pursue, yet it evades me tonight.
Enneagram: 6w7 (phobic) > 2w1 > 9w1 Alignment: Neutral Good Holland Code: AIS Date of Birth: March 15, 1996 Gender: Male Political Stance: Libertarian Liberal (Arizona School/Strong BHL) ATHEIST UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST and SCIENCE ENTHUSIAST
I say this as a reminder to myself, but this goes for everyone:
You can achieve anything you set your mind to, and you are limited only by how dedicated you are to succeed!
I'm not sure what to do at this point in life. I try to just live in the moment and not worry, but ok then, at the moment I am living in the moment by writing this.
I'm not sure what to do about my life at the moment. I can barely motivate myself to get out of the house. My family seems to have very little respect for me, and my friends are making very little effort to talk to me.
If I could get my life just set up, away from the negativity, with some kind of means for supporting myself, then it just seems like things would be great from there.
Yet, this doesn't happen simply by saying that things would be better if it happened.
Maybe if I had some clear idea of how it would even be possible to achieve this then it would work. Just some motivation and a plan.
Right now as I sit here typing this though, I can barely even remember what it is that motivates me.
How about you do the first step reaching out to your family and friends? I think it's useful to motivate yourself with small rewards, it works for me to some extent..
Work for a cause not for Applause
Live to express not to Impress