I wish I did. Confused maybe? Not necessarily bad... Was feeling slightly/somewhat bad earlier... But now... I dont know.
Gray and tired perhaps. Like Im old or something.
But its not bad. Not good.
And at the same time there is a trickle of excitement from my meds because I love them so much I always get a bit excited when it comes time to take them because it makes me feel like a good upstanding invididual and like Im treating myself with good self care or something which just makes me mentally 'yay!' A bit. And I like them. Its like...'they are the medical equivalent of being rocked to sleep by a giant cloud with arms'. Its so nice to fall asleep to them and I always have cool dreams- occasionally nightmares though which suck- and yeah. So excited. Like half an hour (to an hour)before Im 'taken care of' and knocked out cold.
Surprisingly great even with all of my recent frustrations, disappointments, and major changes. I was VERY upset and unhappy for quite a while, but I guess I just got tired of caring and just stopped giving a fuck. It's pretty freeing.
Of course, there's still the matter of being now unemployed with no marketable skills, but at least my mom is able to provide a roof over my head while I figure it out.