I think the word taciturn describes how I am feeling.
Except there is a negative connotation to that word, isn't there?
Thats a shame because I need to repel negativity right now.
I don't know the name for this feeling, which is remarkable now that I consider it. Because I have felt this way a great deal.
I feel a bit withdrawn from the outer world. I don't feel like expressing much.
I feel a bit claustrophobic, actually, inside of myself. Exam coming up, and tense. Tired. Stressed. Happy? Yes. But also paranoid, which I'm trying to get a control of, it feels sort of like I'm fighting my fears with mind and they just pull to different directions...
Like a little afraid kid to whom a calm adult gives perspective to, the whole truth. That's how I feel like, like there's this dramatic cry-baby inside of me and also a fairly reasonable, mature adult, who're trying to get to come along somehow.
Like reality is not real at all, all just my screwed perception, which I need to keep in check, if I could, all the time, I slip dammit.
I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.
Originally Posted by Edgar
Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"
Sore, broken down, and betrayed. We celebrated my boyfriends birthday on Friday night, it was a full moon, and it rained. Someone who I thought was my friend pretty much hustled me. My boyfriend got in to a fist fight. Then we ended up at a crazy after hours with a bunch of weird people, it was like a circus. I felt like I was being hunted by weird men. Two slutty girls were there and 1 of them was flirting with my boyfriend. There was a misunderstanding and I was put on the spot in front of everyone, I was humiliated. I realized that night who was real and who was not. When I got home I decided to cancel my birthday party next weekend, and deleted my facebook. Just want to disconnect for a bit, especially from the club scene.