Super horny, I have no idea why. My time of the month?
"An upsidedown wire heart
Being sucked into a periscope
Still the mind is dull
Like you need another excuse"
… a theory is primarily a form of insight, i.e. a way of looking
at the world, and not a form of knowledge of how the world is….
.. all our different ways of thinking are to be considered as
different ways of looking at the one reality, each with some
domain in which it is clear and adequate…. - David Bohm
On edge, but sort of in a good way, but sort of in a bad way. Over here it's 12:40am which is way late for me, but I've been sleeping less and still waking up fine the last few days. I've had this tickly brain feeling like I'm on the border of being slightly manic, which is weird, because my medication usually completely prevents mania and only leaves me with depressive swings. But I miss being manic sometimes, that careless restless energy is such a rush, especially when it's been a while. I've learned to recognise when I start to feel this way in case I ever go off the deep end again, and monitor my behaviour/alert loved ones to check in on me. It's probably just stress from a late assignment that'll pass once I'm done with it.
Sitting down to take an exam that was talked up as really difficult and you feel extremely unprepared for only for the questions to be super basic recall and synthesis ones? Most of which were taken from the student tools section of the companion site?
Pissed off, tired, and anxious. Absolutely nothing went the way I wanted it to today, I don't know how tomorrow will go, and I don't really know how I can succeed at tomorrow's tasks. Or even the week's tasks.
Reframed this slightly. Went from "I have no idea how I can succeed" to "Yay! I haven't horrendously fucked anything up yet!"