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[ENFP] Any ENFPs not fickle or "adhd"?

Malkavia

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What is this fickleness I keep hearing about? Everyone says how ENFPs dont have schedules or drop out on people to much or get off topic too much.

Maybe Im just an anomaly in the ENFP system but standing people up or being fickle is one of the most ANNOYING things to me. I absolutely cant stand it. Are there any other ENFPs who feel this way? When I choose to be friends with you, I expect both of us to put a lot of effort in our relationship.

I recently read in another thread of two other ENFPs having weeks or months in between talking to their best friends. That would absolutely kill me. I see my best friend about everyday for a few hours. I cant imagine not talking to people who are close to me for so long.

Im pretty organized. I have plans, I stick to them, and Im pretty organized.

I still think Im ENFP however because I feel that the functions fit me very well. It seems like the "results" dont always, however.

Any thoughts?
 

gigi_xo

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you dont sound very perceiving. why did you score more P than J on the test?

every enfp will be different

but plans are just words. i set very little in store by them. they make me anxious.
 

Thalassa

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I'm not fickle at all when it comes to personal relationships. I am very devoted to close friends and if I have a significant other, I tend to be very faithful and I fall in love pretty deeply. I share your contempt for people who are fickle in relationships.I guess I was more fickle when I was younger, though.

However, when it comes to things like plans and schedules, I suck. I'm very P when it comes to that sort of thing. I was born late.
 

Lady_X

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well you can be fickle w/o really standing people up or being a bad friend. you can be fickle in terms of interests or changing your mind about certain career/life choices once becoming interested in something else new and exciting...i think that fickleness can be expressed in many ways.

and yeah i have people i consider very good friends that i go forever w/o talking to.
 

professor goodstain

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i always thought fickle meant more like wont wear a certain shirt given as a gift, wont eat certain foods, wont try new things, wont explore new places, ect.
 

Thalassa

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you dont sound very perceiving. why did you score more P than J on the test?

every enfp will be different

but plans are just words. i set very little in store by them. they make me anxious.

Being overscheduled makes me anxious, too. I have to have some plans to make me feel secure, and some sense of what I will do in the near future, but it has to be a loose framework and I feel an intense sense of relief when I have an unplanned day.
 

Lady_X

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@ professor
no...i'd consider that persnickety and/or unadventurous.
 

gigi_xo

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yes and I would never stand people up, thats mean. and I'm too concerned with making people happy for this nonsense. blowing off plans makes me as anxious as having set plans. planning in general sucks. but not planning sucks too. bleh.

however all my friends know that "Yeah lets meet in the dining hall at 5" totally means 5:30

me and my enfp friend bonded over this earlier :)
 

gigi_xo

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Being overscheduled makes me anxious, too. I have to have some plans to make me feel secure, and some sense of what I will do in the near future, but it has to be a loose framework and I feel an intense sense of relief when I have an uplanned day.

precisely!

but without ANY plans I feel nervous. I like the promise of SOMETHING I just want the where/when/why/how of this something to be up for negotiation. :yes:
 

Malkavia

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you dont sound very perceiving. why did you score more P than J on the test?

every enfp will be different

but plans are just words. i set very little in store by them. they make me anxious.

Ive struggled wondering if I was an ENFJ, not an ENFP. However the functions for ENFJ are a lot different from ENFP and do not fit me as well although I do have my doubts sometimes.

Reading posts on this forum usually reassure me though. I dont normally read a post by an ENFJ talking about themselves and go, "Oh wow I know exactly how that feels."

I'm not very fickle about life interests, goals, or anything like that either. I am graduating with the same major i went into college with now. I went knowing I wanted to work in the Middle East and as we speak I am working with humanitarian organizations in the Middle East. My career interests never shifted really.

EDIT: I think I scored my P than J because I am very FLEXIBLE. I dont let plans dictate what I do. My policy is plan for anything to happen, then let it all start and go with the flow.
 

Lady_X

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Being overscheduled makes me anxious, too. I have to have some plans to make me feel secure, and some sense of what I will do in the near future, but it has to be a loose framework and I feel an intense sense of relief when I have an uplanned day.

ughh...me too i kinda hate to admit how much i hate it when i have something planned...or i should say something i have to do...wanting to do...now that's fun.

hopeless
_happypills__by_Synfull.gif
 

Malkavia

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yes and I would never stand people up, thats mean. and I'm too concerned with making people happy for this nonsense. )

I just have read so many posts here on this forum about ENFPs not calling people back or not putting effort in relationships or appearing, spreading the love, then disapearing again.

I just dont understand that and I myself would never do those things.
 

gigi_xo

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Ive struggled wondering if I was an ENFJ, not an ENFP. However the functions for ENFJ are a lot different from ENFP and do not fit me as well although I do have my doubts sometimes.

Reading posts on this forum usually reassure me though. I dont normally read a post by an ENFJ talking about themselves and go, "Oh wow I know exactly how that feels."

I'm not very fickle about life interests, goals, or anything like that either. I am graduating with the same major i went into college with now. I went knowing I wanted to work in the Middle East and as we speak I am working with humanitarian organizations in the Middle East. My career interests never shifted really.

samsies... same career goals from 2 and a half years ago.

I have VERY long friendships & romantic relationships.

im fickle about little things.
bc little details are irrelevant to me
 

Laurie

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I'm really not like the OP suggests. If I care about someone they hear from me a lot. I will have the same friends for years, and feel like they will always be my friends. I shock people who think I'm all short term with the depths of my friendships and the length. I think ENFPs give off a flighty vibe, so people say we are like that. It's definitely not how I actually am.

One of my good friends would say I *am* how you are describing. "Flightly Laurie." But I've been good friends with him for years now, our families get together at least once a year (he lives 5 hours away). But he would still say it, just because he reads me as flighty. People are funny.

I just have read so many posts here on this forum about ENFPs not calling people back or not putting effort in relationships or appearing, spreading the love, then disapearing again.

I just dont understand that and I myself would never do those things.

Was this ENFPs that said it, or people who were reading ENFPs the wrong way. :newwink:
 

Malkavia

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Was this ENFPs that said it, or people who were reading ENFPs the wrong way. :newwink:

Good point. I like it.

Im glad this question was handled quickly and efficiently. I can now go to bed and sleep better. :) Good job ENFPs.
 

CzeCze

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i always thought fickle meant more like wont wear a certain shirt given as a gift, wont eat certain foods, wont try new things, wont explore new places, ect.

That's finicky.

Like a cat. (i.e. "INFPs" :p)

ENFPs are more like puppies. ;)
 

Kasper

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Im glad this question was handled quickly and efficiently. I can now go to bed and sleep better. :) Good job ENFPs.

Erp... *yoinks Malkavia back into the thread*

Na-uh, not so fast there mister! Things were going well up until you used the Q and E words together and suggested closure would help you sleep *head-shake* this will not do, soon you'll others expecting this concept of 'closure' will cut it when dealing with ExxPs! They'll think they can answer a question and walk away, that we'll stop our quest for alternate answers. That kind of thing should keep you awake at night, just look at the precedent you've set :dont:
 

sculpting

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yes and I would never stand people up, thats mean. and I'm too concerned with making people happy for this nonsense. blowing off plans makes me as anxious as having set plans. planning in general sucks. but not planning sucks too. bleh.

however all my friends know that "Yeah lets meet in the dining hall at 5" totally means 5:30

me and my enfp friend bonded over this earlier :)

I have best friends I haven't seen in five years. I think of them with love on a fairly routine basis, but they are ENTPs-we sort of wonder our separate ways. When we get together again, it is like we never parted.

As for my current entp best friend I much enjoy stalking her. I would marry her but she doesnt like girls so instead I buy her silly stuff. However I am a terrible Fe friend. For instance I was on a trip and realized I hadnt bought her anything. But I had bought this little set of expensive perfumes for myself (the first time I have ever actually bought perfume!) so I am going to let her pick her favorites. I will give her those, a little glass necklace, and some random flowers and potentially half eaten food items. She seems to take these sort of stuff and be happy.

Schedules-long term life goals, yes I am very good. Growing up I saw what happened when you did not identify and pursue those long term goals. I couldnt rely upon anyone else to take care of me, so I learned how to do so myself.

Schedules-short term, day to day, I am the duct tape of the universe and can fix any emergency as I am so flexible. I did get told during my annual review that I selectively identify things I "think" are worth working on , then ignore small unimportant tasks-like my annual review paperwork. I call it prioritization. My entp says I need to learn how to actually read things.

I do however have some really weird anxiety issues about appointments. I always show up 15 minutes early. I hate having my day planned as it makes me anxious trying to remember all the stuff I have to do.

I do sometimes skip down the hall and make up songs, but my other enfp friend does this as well so we have decided it's perfectly normal.

Moody? Muhahahahahah....oh, oh, oh, hahahahahaha!!! Of course not, my emo is like a rock. Trapped in the tides... :D
 

CzeCze

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What is this fickleness I keep hearing about? Everyone says how ENFPs dont have schedules or drop out on people to much or get off topic too much.

Maybe Im just an anomaly in the ENFP system but standing people up or being fickle is one of the most ANNOYING things to me. I absolutely cant stand it. Are there any other ENFPs who feel this way? When I choose to be friends with you, I expect both of us to put a lot of effort in our relationship.

I recently read in another thread of two other ENFPs having weeks or months in between talking to their best friends. That would absolutely kill me. I see my best friend about everyday for a few hours. I cant imagine not talking to people who are close to me for so long.

Im pretty organized. I have plans, I stick to them, and Im pretty organized.

I still think Im ENFP however because I feel that the functions fit me very well. It seems like the "results" dont always, however.

Any thoughts?

First, how old are you?

Second, 'P' doesn't necessarily mean scatter brained or disorganized, it's really more how flex/open you are in your approach to life and surprises. I've mentioned this in at least one other thread, but I also think cleanliness, tidiness, etc are informed by your home environment and how you are raised.

There are definitely 'Ps' who still know how to keep a job and prioritize. Or have jobs that demand a good deal of timeliness, self-management, and directing others. Then there are extreme 'Ps' who don't really care if you or they are 15, 20, 30 minutes late.

I think there are differences in type and it is also informed by age. The older you get, generally, the more organized and on top of it you get. Partly because you have to.

ENFPs have tert Te which is all about organizing and giving order to your environment.

It took years after wanting and then making a concerted effort to, battle some demons and become more timely. I'm usually on time, a little early...or a teensy bit late now. :) Like, fashionably late.

But, I've always taken my responsibilities seriously. At least, when I've volunteered for something.
 
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