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  1. #1
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Default Any ENFPs not fickle or "adhd"?

    What is this fickleness I keep hearing about? Everyone says how ENFPs dont have schedules or drop out on people to much or get off topic too much.

    Maybe Im just an anomaly in the ENFP system but standing people up or being fickle is one of the most ANNOYING things to me. I absolutely cant stand it. Are there any other ENFPs who feel this way? When I choose to be friends with you, I expect both of us to put a lot of effort in our relationship.

    I recently read in another thread of two other ENFPs having weeks or months in between talking to their best friends. That would absolutely kill me. I see my best friend about everyday for a few hours. I cant imagine not talking to people who are close to me for so long.

    Im pretty organized. I have plans, I stick to them, and Im pretty organized.

    I still think Im ENFP however because I feel that the functions fit me very well. It seems like the "results" dont always, however.

    Any thoughts?

  2. #2
    Senior Member gigi_xo's Avatar
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    you dont sound very perceiving. why did you score more P than J on the test?

    every enfp will be different

    but plans are just words. i set very little in store by them. they make me anxious.
    I live my life for the stars that shine & people say its just a waste of time- Oasis

    Extroverted (E) 65.63% Introverted (I) 34.38%
    Intuitive (N) 89.31% Sensing (S) 10.69%
    Feeling (F) 74.29% Thinking (T) 25.71%
    Perceiving (P) 74.19% Judging (J) 25.81%


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  3. #3
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    I'm not fickle at all when it comes to personal relationships. I am very devoted to close friends and if I have a significant other, I tend to be very faithful and I fall in love pretty deeply. I share your contempt for people who are fickle in relationships.I guess I was more fickle when I was younger, though.

    However, when it comes to things like plans and schedules, I suck. I'm very P when it comes to that sort of thing. I was born late.

  4. #4
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    well you can be fickle w/o really standing people up or being a bad friend. you can be fickle in terms of interests or changing your mind about certain career/life choices once becoming interested in something else new and exciting...i think that fickleness can be expressed in many ways.

    and yeah i have people i consider very good friends that i go forever w/o talking to.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #5
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    i always thought fickle meant more like wont wear a certain shirt given as a gift, wont eat certain foods, wont try new things, wont explore new places, ect.
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by gigi_xo View Post
    you dont sound very perceiving. why did you score more P than J on the test?

    every enfp will be different

    but plans are just words. i set very little in store by them. they make me anxious.
    Being overscheduled makes me anxious, too. I have to have some plans to make me feel secure, and some sense of what I will do in the near future, but it has to be a loose framework and I feel an intense sense of relief when I have an unplanned day.
    Likes The Wailing Specter liked this post

  7. #7
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    @ professor
    no...i'd consider that persnickety and/or unadventurous.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #8
    Senior Member gigi_xo's Avatar
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    yes and I would never stand people up, thats mean. and I'm too concerned with making people happy for this nonsense. blowing off plans makes me as anxious as having set plans. planning in general sucks. but not planning sucks too. bleh.

    however all my friends know that "Yeah lets meet in the dining hall at 5" totally means 5:30

    me and my enfp friend bonded over this earlier
    I live my life for the stars that shine & people say its just a waste of time- Oasis

    Extroverted (E) 65.63% Introverted (I) 34.38%
    Intuitive (N) 89.31% Sensing (S) 10.69%
    Feeling (F) 74.29% Thinking (T) 25.71%
    Perceiving (P) 74.19% Judging (J) 25.81%


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  9. #9
    Senior Member gigi_xo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Being overscheduled makes me anxious, too. I have to have some plans to make me feel secure, and some sense of what I will do in the near future, but it has to be a loose framework and I feel an intense sense of relief when I have an uplanned day.
    precisely!

    but without ANY plans I feel nervous. I like the promise of SOMETHING I just want the where/when/why/how of this something to be up for negotiation.
    I live my life for the stars that shine & people say its just a waste of time- Oasis

    Extroverted (E) 65.63% Introverted (I) 34.38%
    Intuitive (N) 89.31% Sensing (S) 10.69%
    Feeling (F) 74.29% Thinking (T) 25.71%
    Perceiving (P) 74.19% Judging (J) 25.81%


    3w4

  10. #10
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gigi_xo View Post
    you dont sound very perceiving. why did you score more P than J on the test?

    every enfp will be different

    but plans are just words. i set very little in store by them. they make me anxious.
    Ive struggled wondering if I was an ENFJ, not an ENFP. However the functions for ENFJ are a lot different from ENFP and do not fit me as well although I do have my doubts sometimes.

    Reading posts on this forum usually reassure me though. I dont normally read a post by an ENFJ talking about themselves and go, "Oh wow I know exactly how that feels."

    I'm not very fickle about life interests, goals, or anything like that either. I am graduating with the same major i went into college with now. I went knowing I wanted to work in the Middle East and as we speak I am working with humanitarian organizations in the Middle East. My career interests never shifted really.

    EDIT: I think I scored my P than J because I am very FLEXIBLE. I dont let plans dictate what I do. My policy is plan for anything to happen, then let it all start and go with the flow.

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