User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 44

  1. #1
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Posts
    815

    Arrow I wouldn't beat ENFPs with sticks. Only rainbows?

    That other thread got crazy, so I wanted to send some love directly to the ENFPs, the charming, gushy and delightful creatures you are!

    We've likely all experienced it on either side; not knowing how deep a relationship should be following what we perceived to be a deep connection/not realizing that the other person perceived something as more significant than we did. At the end of the day, we have a difference in both communication and values. The joys of being human and flawed

    To take a previous OP and reword it into a different structure:

    Situation:

    There are types (or just people) who love connecting with people. These connections can be created through something deeply emotional (skipping smalltalk and jumping straight into something more personal) or devastatingly intellectual (gosh, ideas are sexy, aren't they?).

    Questions:

    1) With these high intensity - low commitment interactions, what is really happening?

    2) Is there anything morally wrong with connecting with people on a deep personal/intellectual level and not following up with a relationship of some sort? Would this be better depicted by shades of grey rather than black and white, and if so, how would it be measured?

    3) How is this being perceived by the stakeholders in this situation? (The person who is seeking and creating these interactions, the person being interacted with)

    4) How can we build a shared vocabulary and social construct to deal with the confusion the consequences of these missed communications create? How can someone set up boundaries to make it clear to others what they are willing and unwilling to participate in?

    5) Is there value in these sudden, seemingly more personally invested, interactions? Should we condition those around us to stop engaging in them for the sake of self-protectionism?
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
    likes this gromit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    6,652

    Default


  4. #4
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    8,193

    Default

    One that stands out for me is number 2.

    And I would seriously hope not. I'd hate to think I was obligated to force a relationship simply because of a previous interaction. I don't think there are universal standards that can apply in this instance. A great interaction could be significant in that it shows how great the potential continued experiences could be...but just as a one night stand doesn't imply an actual relationship, neither does a "one night" mental connection.


    If you happen to have these miscommunications about "levels" of relationships, I think the first thing we must do is take a critical look at our own behavior first, to wonder if we're inviting this kind of attention. Maybe you happen to be flirty. Maybe you're too sarcastic and nobody takes you seriously. Look at yourself through eyes that are not your own. Examine whether there is consistency between how you think you are and how you are.

    I do think there is value in these interactions. How could there not be? They're fun, exhilarating, moving. Nothing moves you without some kind of weight behind it.



  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Also in relation to Number 2

    I would consider that maybe the person in question is lonely or longing for some kind of deep connection.. If they meet someone who seems to get right inside them immediately .. It might seem almost magical or fated..
    This of course is the problem(?) of the other person and not the ENFPs in question ..
    But we should always try to be aware of the effect we are having on people.

    And as Fi dom intuits.. Shouldn't it be almost obvious??

  6. #6
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by No Exit View Post
    And as Fe dom intuits.. Shouldn't it be almost obvious??
    Fe dom intuits are ENFJs my friend.

    And this is one confusing thread. I don't understand what the point of it is. The opening post seems to have no beginning and no end. Or maybe it's the martini talking.

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Fe dom intuits are ENFJs my friend.

    And this is one confusing thread. I don't understand what the point of it is. The opening post seems to have no beginning and no end. Or maybe it's the martini talking.
    Thanks I will change it to Fi and my point still stands..
    I know what I meant

  8. #8
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Posts
    815

    Default

    For SYTPG, my goals with this thread are the following:
    - Take an experience that people share and beyond the point of consequences, and find a structure to examine it with
    - Find a shared vocabulary for people to use
    - Understand the perspectives of others

    If people are being charged with having to be responsible for their actions, why shouldn't there be accountability welcome from all sides to share their own views on short term personal experiences where the parties have differing views of significance?

    Or maybe my Ti vomited. Not sure.
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  9. #9
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gamine
    If people are being charged with having to be responsible for their actions, why shouldn't there be accountability welcome from all sides to share their own views on short term personal experiences where the parties have differing views of significance?

    Okay that first part I got, but this...is anyone arguing responsibility in the first place? And could you be more concrete? Could you explain what you meant in this quote like I were a 10 year old please?

  10. #10
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Posts
    815

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Okay that first part I got, but this...is anyone arguing responsibility in the first place? And could you be more concrete? Could you explain what you meant in this quote like I were a 10 year old please?
    I'm not that much of an ass, but I'll try my best, let me know if it works!

    - There are stereotypes of types being attention seeking, friend whoring, manipulating narcissists. These are frequently directed at dom users of NeFi, Fi or Fe.
    - People have described in different threads on this forum different sides of what seems to be the same kind of interaction: Person A (who naturally enjoys connecting to others) meets Person B, they connect on a deep level in a short amount of time, Person A leaves to have other adventures, Person B thinks they have been used as their importance to Person A did not match their earlier perceptions.
    - Some people in Person A's position claim it is their responsibility to monitor how they socialize with others to make their meanings clear, other people don't see the harm in having those no-strings-attached connections.
    - Some people in Person B's position can understand the meaning behind it and shrug it off, some claim it is their responsibility to have good communication with their own Person A to clear up expectations, while others claim Person A to be a manipulative jerk.

    My view on this is, the majority of these connections are not being sought with the cruel intentions of hurting others or making them feel unwanted or undesired for further more sustained interaction, as that violates the intensity and often emotional intimacy that is the foundation of these interactions in the first place. (WHOA LONG SENTENCE ATTACK). So, I want to have a better fundemental understanding on how we can communicate our intentions clearer so no one feels like poop.

    How's that?
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] I'm an ENFP with a low EQ
    By Nillerz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 11-28-2014, 02:45 PM
  2. [ENFP] ENFP with an INTJ mom; let the conflict begin.
    By cheerchick23 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-04-2012, 10:07 PM
  3. [ENFP] Advice for an ENFP with anxiety
    By niffer in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-02-2011, 09:28 PM
  4. [ENFP] ENFP with emotional holy cows
    By blomiki in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05-04-2011, 05:04 PM
  5. [ENFP] ENFP with ENFJ mom -- help
    By pyramid in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 03-04-2010, 10:26 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO