User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 44

  1. #21
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,708

    Default

    It isn't "fake", it's a "mode."

  2. #22
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    It isn't "fake", it's a "mode."
    Sure. Modes tend to sound contrived to me though. I use modes to solve problems, not to have fun. But that's me of course.

  3. #23
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by uumlau View Post
    It isn't "fake", it's a "mode."
    i get it. i'm a portrait photographer and have a mode too. it's important when working with people and you need them to feel relaxed and happy...like i would assume you do as a dancer as well.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #24
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,708

    Default

    It's a rather advanced mode for an IxTJ. We don't have the Fe, which would naturally compile this information into useful patterns we could use. Instead, we have to logically sort through the nonsense and make sense of it.

    I make sense of it by calling it a "mode." If I think of it as "fake" and "not genuine", I don't learn anything because I refuse to learn it.

  5. #25
    in-game Gamine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    3w2
    Posts
    815

    Default

    What about seeing modes as the different face we were when interacting with different people? We are different with our parents, bosses, mentors, children, employees, coworkers... why are these modes seen as anything contrived?
    "Beware Those Who Are ALWAYS READING BOOKS" - Bukowski

  6. #26
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,708

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i get it. i'm a portrait photographer and have a mode too. it's important when working with people and you need them to feel relaxed and happy...like i would assume you do as a dancer as well.
    Yes. There is a certain language you use. The way I talk to friends and family is different from the way I spoke with my physics Ph.D. adviser, is different from the way I speak with those with whom I dance.

    All different modes.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Posts
    6,020

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gamine View Post
    What about seeing modes as the different face we were when interacting with different people? We are different with our parents, bosses, mentors, children, employees, coworkers... why are these modes seen as anything contrived?
    I personally strive very hard to not be at all different with all those different people. I even get into trouble because of it. To me it's being contrived. I personally feel weird if I have to talk differently with different people. It's about authenticity. Everyone has a different view of course. It works for me though, and people tend to like it after a while.

    Uumlau, I myself refuse to "learn" it. But what do you mean by not learn anything? Not learning what exactly? To act in a certain way with people to get what we want?

  8. #28
    Babylon Candle Venom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    1w9 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,128

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gamine View Post
    That other thread got crazy, so I wanted to send some love directly to the ENFPs, the charming, gushy and delightful creatures you are!

    We've likely all experienced it on either side; not knowing how deep a relationship should be following what we perceived to be a deep connection/not realizing that the other person perceived something as more significant than we did. At the end of the day, we have a difference in both communication and values. The joys of being human and flawed

    To take a previous OP and reword it into a different structure:

    Situation:

    There are types (or just people) who love connecting with people. These connections can be created through something deeply emotional (skipping smalltalk and jumping straight into something more personal) or devastatingly intellectual (gosh, ideas are sexy, aren't they?).

    Questions:

    1) With these high intensity - low commitment interactions, what is really happening?

    2) Is there anything morally wrong with connecting with people on a deep personal/intellectual level and not following up with a relationship of some sort? Would this be better depicted by shades of grey rather than black and white, and if so, how would it be measured?

    3) How is this being perceived by the stakeholders in this situation? (The person who is seeking and creating these interactions, the person being interacted with)

    4) How can we build a shared vocabulary and social construct to deal with the confusion the consequences of these missed communications create? How can someone set up boundaries to make it clear to others what they are willing and unwilling to participate in?

    5) Is there value in these sudden, seemingly more personally invested, interactions? Should we condition those around us to stop engaging in them for the sake of self-protectionism?
    OH NO!!! They got to Twinks!!! You Bastards!!!!

  9. #29
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/so
    Posts
    18,086

    Default

    i know what you mean but imo i'm not being inauthentic when i say complimentary things to people at work..if one pose is unflattering and i adjust them and then say that's it perfect...and get a beautiful expression or line...i don't think it's being fake to say so...but it's a mode because i don't usually go around complimenting peoples posture or expressions outside of that.

    edit: and twinks? who's twinks?
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #30
    Happy Dancer uumlau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    953 sp/so
    Posts
    5,708

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    I personally strive very hard to not be at all different with all those different people. I even get into trouble because of it. To me it's being contrived. I personally feel weird if I have to talk differently with different people. It's about authenticity. Everyone has a different view of course. It works for me though, and people tend to like it after a while.

    Uumlau, I myself refuse to "learn" it. But what do you mean by not learn anything? Not learning what exactly? To act in a certain way with people to get what we want?
    It's like learning a language, but the words are the same.

    In the computer world, it is sometimes appropriate to use XML, sometimes to use CSV, sometimes to use javascript, sometimes to use java. All of these things do sort of the same thing, but they have different priorities.

    Different social venues have different priorities. You don't change who you are: rather you change your mode of expression and understanding.

    But yeah, it's kind of "rudimentary Fe" so it "feels fake" to us TJs.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] I'm an ENFP with a low EQ
    By Nillerz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 11-28-2014, 02:45 PM
  2. [ENFP] ENFP with an INTJ mom; let the conflict begin.
    By cheerchick23 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-04-2012, 10:07 PM
  3. [ENFP] Advice for an ENFP with anxiety
    By niffer in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-02-2011, 09:28 PM
  4. [ENFP] ENFP with emotional holy cows
    By blomiki in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05-04-2011, 05:04 PM
  5. [ENFP] ENFP with ENFJ mom -- help
    By pyramid in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 03-04-2010, 10:26 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO