[MBTI General] do you distant yourself from people who have seen you naked?

[Rebe]

Not physically. Emotionally. In a deeply vulnerable and/or pathetic way.

I find myself hiding a bit from people who knows a bit too much about me. I am ashamed of my weak traits. For the past few years, I maximize the negative traits that I find more acceptable, such as behaving spoiled and irresponsible and impractical but completely hide the truly weak spots that I struggle with on a daily basis. Such as being too emotional...at times. And not trusting of others. And feeling incompetent. Maybe that's human. Is that true of other types like the NTs and STs? What weak traits do you all hide? And what negative traits do you exploit?

 

[heart]

Well, it's complex. If I like or admire someone there grows the fear that once they know me, they are bored or bothered by me and I'll withdraw because I hate to feel like I am being invasive or a bother to anyone. That causes me problems. Maybe I've even hurt others through this, I am not sure.

I am not so bothered that they have come to know me in a 'now they know my weakness way' it is more a fear of not being worthy once they do come to know me. I always carry this internal image of being too invasive and being that person that everyone cringes when they think of them. I don't want to be that person. But a lot of this comes from my childhood.

ironically I am driven to show myself as close to truth as I can, so this can happen rather quickly.

 

[Rainne]

Sometimes, you think see things there that really aren't there.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

Personally, I make it a rule never to hide any weakness. Most would consider this unwise, but I feel that even a hint of me lying to them about myself isn't good for the relationship (whether me and that person have one or are just learning about each other) and this has some EXTREME downfalls, but I usually go with a "I hope this is the best approach" and leave it at that. Most don't feel comfortable with that, but it was how I was raised and so BAM that's how I am...... of course I'm only 19.... that makes a giant difference as well.

This probably doesn't answer much, but that's my two cents.

 

[KDude]

Boy, I'm dense. It took me a few minutes to realize you weren't talking about actually being naked..

Hiding weak traits.. I try to use them to my advantage sometimes.. or make a joke about them.. but even I have a few things I find incredibly hard to talk about. Or I'm embarassed if someone has seen. So it's true of this SP at least.

 

[Phantonym]

Well, it's complex. If I like or admire someone there grows the fear that once they know me, they are bored or bothered by me and I'll withdraw because I hate to feel like I am being invasive or a bother to anyone. That causes me problems.

I am not so bothered that they have come to know me in a 'now they know my weakness way' it is more a fear of not being worthy once they do come to know me. I always carry this internal image of being too invasive and being that person that everyone cringes when they think of them. I don't want to be that person. But a lot of this comes from my childhood.

ironically I am driven to show myself as close to truth as I can, so this can happen rather quickly.

Oh gah. THIS!!! Exactly like this. I don't try to hide my weaknesses but I can run away faster than...people who run fast. Both emotionally and physically.

 

[nolla]

Good question. I don't know. I've been living with friends for so long that I think they know my weak spots by now. We don't talk about them, though... it is more like everyone accepts the others if it doesn't get out of hand.

But when I was alone, I did try to keep my weaknesses to myself. It doesn't do much good. People don't relate well to someone hiding something.

 

[BRMC117]

there are only 3 people that KNOW me and they are the closest people that I have. My boyfriend, my best friend, and my mom.

 

[kiddykat]

Weak traits that I hide? I don't. I'm like an open book. I don't really like having to feel like I have to hide something about myself. I may be stubborn at times, especially when it pertains to what I value I guess. If I'm told to do something I refuse, then I basically revolt (I'm talking about when I'm asked to do something that can ex- crush someone). I walk away. Or if I'm asked to 'conform' 'just Because?'- that leaves a sour taste in my mouth, so I guess that's my weak point, and it's apparent? It's also a strength, because I get to define what I do and don't want in my life.. That's freeing and feels great in itself.

I think life's a bit easier if we can just be ourselves.. then again, it also depends on the time and place. In a professional setting- I know to keep it professional- hence, I avoid the corporate world/offices, in general.

In terms of keeping a distance? I keep more of a distance from people I don't feel comfy with. If I'm exposing some of my deepest stories with someone, something that I wouldn't share with most people? I tend to grow a closer bond with them. Hence, why choose my closest friends selectively.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

^ agreed.

 

[decided]

The weak spots I think I'm hiding are probably possibly maybe really obvious to others.

They may even see them as strengths.

Hmmm...

 

[Unkindloving]

I'm a bit complicated in this realm.
Usually, i open up in public journals/blogs that my friends and family can read. It all has depth, conveying issues i have with myself and why those issues exist. My experiences and emotions are all laid out on the table, but indirectly.

I'll openly discuss almost any topic with anyone, but i will detach the emotions from it if i see them frequently or if we are face to face. Every weakness i have will still be discussed, yet they won't be given a display of how it affects me unless i deeply trust or connect with them.

I know pretty early on if i can connect with someone enough to be emotionally vulnerable to them or not. It's not really a choice, but if i can't then a wall goes up in my subconscious when it comes to that person.
The people i can connect with have a lot of access to my emotions and i keep them close until they give me a reason to feel threatened. I get defensive and will impulsively think to reject them.
If i'm dating someone, i'll think "Maybe it should end now. Spare myself." If someone plans to visit, i'll think "You should just stay where you are." I rarely say those things, but they are present, even if i take the opposite route.

The only time i distance from someone is if i've known i can't open up to them and a circumstance allows me to. Ex: If i'm intoxicated or they catch me at a low point when i can't collect myself. After i'm back to normal, i'll close off from that person again and worry about the display of a kind of weakness i only show certain people.

 

[Amargith]

Oh gah. THIS!!! Exactly like this. I don't try to hide my weaknesses but I can run away faster than...people who run fast. Both emotionally and physically.

Make that 3.
I am severely embarassed if I open up to someone, usually in a spur of the moment thing, and see them going
I just wanna run. And I'll always try to pace it if I have the chance (emotional overenthusiasm aside), and I'll only open up if I feel they're able to take it and they've done the same with me.

 

[sculpting]

Oh, I almost totally went for the physical...Not at all, nudity just is what it is-funny though I guess many women are self conscious of nudity but heh, if you got me naked, you know what you are looking at already, so enjoy.

Emotional vulnerability. Very, very few people see what I really feel. My toddler, my entp best friend-but no words, just facial expressions, and one other person are the people I have openly shared what I "feel" moment to moment with.

For some reason this paralyzes me. To tell someone what I am actually feeling seems like a horrific weakness. To show them my weaknesses, my flaws, yeh, bad, bad stuff. And yes, if I get hurt I will hide very intently and never let them see how I feel again.

My other flaws-I actually welcome critical critique of my ideas, my failings as I can then develop a plan to resolve them. A very Te sort of mindset. Accountability is everything for me.

But yeah I am horribly humiliated when I get emotional in any way and I am aboslutely mortified if I share or express that emo in a way other people can see-so then I avoid them.

That's part of the nice thing here honestly-I can express emotions, look emo-nutty, yet make a very concerted choice to not retreat and thus learn more about why I responded the way I did. But I still feel really weird.

 

[sculpting]

I'm a bit complicated in this realm.
Usually, i open up in public journals/blogs that my friends and family can read. It all has depth, conveying issues i have with myself and why those issues exist. My experiences and emotions are all laid out on the table, but indirectly.

OMG, this gives makes me feel really anxious and a bit nauseated just reading it. chills......

 

[Lux]

Not physically. Emotionally. In a deeply vulnerable and/or pathetic way.

Short answer, no.

Long answer, if I am honest with myself, it's never really happened. With myself, and this is a bad thing that I am currently working on, I have never opened up to the point that would cause me great discomfort, or enough to run away from. Which is pathetic in its own way. I have never shown any one person all (or even most) of the different sides of who I am. I've noticed that I split myself up amongst different people. Not romantically, just in general.

*sigh* Life, for me, is just about learning.

 

[Fidelia]

I don't think anyone sees all the different sides of me, but that doesn't completely bother me, other than the occasional tendancy to hide what I think will disappoint or repel others whose opinions matter too much to me. I think I'm careful enough initially in assessing that I have rarely ever regretted sharing too much with someone once I have gone for it. If anything, I need to be more assured in sharing parts of myself if others don't think to ask about them. What I feel is a lack of sincere interest in understanding me the way I'd like to understand them is actually often more them trying not to be too intrusive. I have a tendancy to hold back too much, particularly if it is something where I can't predict the other person's reaction. Most of my holding back is taking preventative measures rather than having regrets after the fact. As I've gotten older, I've gotten more comfortable in my own skin, but have a ways to go yet.

 

[JustHer]

lol @ thread title

 

[Laurie]

I already assume most people see the bad traits, it's the good traits people find as they get to know me. Or is it that the people who see the bad traits as good are the ones who get to know me?

The weak spots I think I'm hiding are probably possibly maybe really obvious to others.

They may even see them as strengths.

Hmmm...

This quote and OP are helping me understand the "private" thing or the "hiding myself" thing a little more. Feeling that you are controlling what other people see of you, whereas I think people see things they probably don't.

 

[Unkindloving]

OMG, this gives makes me feel really anxious and a bit nauseated just reading it. chills......

I'm here to make your spine tingle with displeasure.

It's really not that bad. I've been journaling my life for 10 years with little issue. For a lot of people, that is absolutely insane.