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  1. #41
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    I guess I just feel so flawed internally. Today I just feel ashamed of what I am and what I do when I try and share that internal side of myself. It is way too intense and overwhelming. So I want to hide it away forever, but get torn by a desire to share it as well as I don't want to be alone.

    I don't want to be alone but I can't be true either without seeming a monster. So to let someone in real life see what I feel-in all its honesty is terrifying.

    I let me entp best friend read some posts a made a few weeks back and she said she was proud that I said what I felt even if sounded crazy. But I couldn't even talk to her about it. I had no words.

    I don't say these things to get attention or make people feel sorry for me-I detest both as they make me feel weak-i would disapear into nothing given the chance rather than seek attention of others.

    I wish I could be invisible so I could help people without hurting them. I wish I did not need other people so that I could be alone.

    I just feel like a monster and feel shame at being what I am.
    I do relate in a lot of ways.

  2. #42
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    "You don't have to be strong all the time." - esfj friend

    me: NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Yeah I do.

    Also, if I know a certain trait is unacceptable to you and I want to impress you and not lose my pride, I will actively hide a trait. With an INTJ and ISTP, I hid my emotional vulnerability. The only time I cried like crazy in front of people, I was extremely drunk, extremely and we were all sharing deep stories and I trusted the two people I was with. Otherwise I will always be .



    *hugs* I understand this well. The depth of my despair sometimes is unreasonable, but it is there, like a monster. This realization that the world is imperfect and its people imperfect and we want so much for perfection.

    If the INFJs feel it too, then it is not Fi-related? I am actually surprised to read that some ENFPs feel this way as well, as I thought it was a rather introverted thing, this hiding away of emotions. I thought since ENFPs can get along with the external environment and enjoy it so well, they don't get lost in such an extreme.
    i think it's an nf (idealist) thing most likely... you can't help but see how beautiful things can be so you're depressed and disillusioned when they're not.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #43
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Happy Puppy - you need to find friends who accept you as you are. If you are being cruel or evil then you need to feel like that, but if you are living life then you shouldn't. Life sucks, everyone screws up. You will only feel better when you accept that you are YOU and won't live up to what you think other people say you should.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    i think it's an nf (idealist) thing most likely... you can't help but see how beautiful things can be so you're depressed and disillusioned when they're not.
    I relate to this so very, very much.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    If I accidentally share too much, I feel like the other person has some power over me, which is bad bad bad, so I am very cautious. Something I recently realized that I do: if I am uncertain about a person, I toss a little scrap out there and see what they do with it. If they can cherish (or better, make something out of it), then I can share more. If they dismiss or don't even notice the information, then I can tell the person is not safe for that kind of thing.
    I can relate to this. I have the tendency to share too much too quickly and it's given me a lot of heartache because well, yeah duh, I can't take it back. And then I try to overcompensate by completely shutting myself off.

    But yes, I share things with people often to see what they would do with it. It's like testing my initial gut feeling whether I can trust them or not. I'm usually right, but it's like I have this masochistic need to really test this feeling, regardless if it's positive or negative.

  5. #45
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    i think i'm too open sometimes. i really didn't used to be before, at all... but as i started to be more open i realized that it was actually a good thing. people can relate to you more when they see that you have these weaknesses... and you'll feel better opening up to someone.

    what i'm very careful about, though, is being openly emotional with people. i can talk about my weaknesses, but it's a different story to have them on display in front of their eyes. i've figured that it is just too much to ask from anyone, to take that. i've always felt like my emotions are my problem and i shouldn't be burdening others with them.

    if that has happened, i usually feel ashamed afterwards and the feeling lasts for some time... you know, the feeling that they see me as weak now.

    and also... i don't trust people easily.

  6. #46
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    I don't hide from people who have seen my penis.

    for the sake of taste, that might be a metaphor.

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