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  1. #1
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Default ENFPs: Beating 'Em Off with a Stick (Not the ENFP, But Those They Encounter)

    I've come to realize that I have a particularly salient talent for making people from all walks of life feel comfortable in my presence. Redneck or college professor (and in my home state the two are not mutually exclusive, but I digress), people from all walks of life can feel like my best friend after only one to two conversations.

    I would characterize such conversations as ephemeral. And yet, I'm obviously having a more significant emotional impact on these people than I realize or intend.

    So here's my question to other ENFPs and those who love them...

    How do you balance your innate ability to establish emotional connections with other people with your desire to have MEANINGFUL emotional connections with others? Are you aware that what seems like a casual emotional connection for you, may seem to have more import for the other person? And, if so then what do you do about this?

    Please discuss.

    - Esoteric Wench

  2. #2
    Senior Member hermeticdancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I've come to realize that I have a particularly salient talent for making people from all walks of life feel comfortable in my presence. Redneck or college professor (and in my home state the two are not mutually exclusive, but I digress), people from all walks of life can feel like my best friend after only one to two conversations.

    I would characterize such conversations as ephemeral. And yet, I'm obviously having a more significant emotional impact on these people than I realize or intend.

    So here's my question to other ENFPs and those who love them...

    How do you balance your innate ability to establish emotional connections with other people with your desire to have MEANINGFUL emotional connections with others? Are you aware that what seems like a casual emotional connection for you, may seem to have more import for the other person? And, if so then what do you do about this?

    Please discuss.

    - Esoteric Wench
    Maybe you overrate yourself. How do you know what other people really thinking about you on the inside? I found your post to be obnoxious, and not endearing at all. Doesn't matter, keep on thinking that you can get anyone to like you... When you find someone who demonstrates they are not impressed, you fall for them I bet...

    Ughh...

    To have meaningful emotional connections with others, you don't have to spend time propping each other up, and telling the other person what they think they want to hear, or becoming an emotional surrogate.

    You should know better, that most people don't need/want advice, or even validation, and counsel time, you're not a therapist, and most of us only really give a a sh*it what WE have to say. Let's get over ourselves here. Are you getting PAID for it?
    $$$$. Are these good friends, family? Then who cares?

    :workout:

  3. #3
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    oh gods please fix the title. lol.
    -end of thread-

  4. #4
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hermeticdancer View Post
    Maybe you overrate yourself. How do you know what other people really thinking about you on the inside? I found your post to be obnoxious, and not endearing at all. Doesn't matter, keep on thinking that you can get anyone to like you... When you find someone who demonstrates they are not impressed, you fall for them I bet...
    Agreed, OP sounds pretentious and probably out of touch with what most people really think.

    When I read the title I thought it was going to be about getting ENFPs to stop overestimating how much others love and appreciate them, which, ironically, would be a far more fitting subject for the OP to consider. :rolli:
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  5. #5
    Senior Member professor goodstain's Avatar
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    AVOID those people for a long time after you get a vibe they assumed you were tryin to get too close for comfort.
    my aunt assumed i was flirting with her during a wedding reception. can't figure out for the life of me how. have avoided her going on almost 10 years now
    everyone uses every function about evenly. take NE for example. if there are those who don't use it much, then why are there such massive amounts of people constantly flowing through Wallmart with 20 items or less?

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    Agreed, OP sounds pretentious and probably out of touch with what most people really think.

    When I read the title I thought it was going to be about getting ENFPs to stop overestimating how much others love and appreciate them, which, ironically, would be a far more fitting subject for the OP to consider. :rolli:
    I thought it was gunna be about how to beat ENFPs off with a stick...


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by professor goodstain View Post
    my aunt assumed i was flirting with her during a wedding reception. can't figure out for the life of me how. have avoided her going on almost 10 years now

  8. #8
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Hysterical!

  9. #9
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    My only point is that in my travels, I've had several occasions that I felt like I had made a minor emotional connection with another person. Later, I'd receive a hand written note from that person thanking me for discussing the deeper points in their life and making some insightful suggestions to them.

    This has happened to me on more than one occasion.

    My only point is... not to extol my own virtues... but to understand the dynamic that occurs in non-ENFP / ENFP interactions. Per my life experience these interactions can include deep, meaningful emotional connections between the non-ENFP and the ENFP. Afterward, the non-ENFP is bowled over by the emotional import of their ENFP interaction experience... whereas the ENFP considers such an interaction as run-of-the-mill at best.

    This disparity in the ENFP / Non-ENFP interaction has nothing to do with the ENFP being God's gift to humanity. It has more to do with the fact that connecting with people on an emotionally meaningful level comes naturally for the ENFP but not necessarily for other types. Thus, what seems ordinary for the ENFP, is extraordinary for the non-ENFP.

  10. #10
    heart on fire
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    This thread irritated the bejeezus out of me. I am too lazy to try and analyze why.

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