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  1. #11
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    My only point is that in my travels, I've had several occasions that I felt like I had made a minor emotional connection with another person. Later, I'd receive a hand written note from that person thanking me for discussing the deeper points in their life and making some insightful suggestions to them.

    This has happened to me on more than one occasion.

    My only point is... not to extol my own virtues... but to understand the dynamic that occurs in non-ENFP / ENFP interactions. Per my life experience these interactions can include deep, meaningful emotional connections between the non-ENFP and the ENFP. Afterward, the non-ENFP is bowled over by the emotional import of their ENFP interaction experience... whereas the ENFP considers such an interaction as run-of-the-mill at best.

    This disparity in the ENFP / Non-ENFP interaction has nothing to do with the ENFP being God's gift to humanity. It has more to do with the fact that connecting with people on an emotionally meaningful level comes naturally for the ENFP but not necessarily for other types. Thus, what seems ordinary for the ENFP, is extraordinary for the non-ENFP.

    It's very common for one person in any sort of relationship to feel that the connection is more significant than the other person does. You've probably been on the opposite end of this dichotomy any number of times.

    I've seen what you describe happen with lots of people from lots of different types, with no particular pattern toward ENFP. Most F types encounter the same thing periodically, and even some Ts.

    This isn't really a special ENFP quality.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  2. #12
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
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    I have recognized this problem in ENFPs. I confess I have been known to overestimate a friendship with some in the past. It wasn't something that was openly acknowledged between us but I certainly realized I was probably presuming too much. I don't blame them for it or anything but its hard to come to terms with. I'm usually pretty good at reading what people think of me but its harder with ENFXs because you're so friendly, open and considerate even when you don't have to be. I guess this is more of a problem with society that basic pleasantness is considered above and beyond the call of duty (ie. "so you must really like me!").

    When I've had this problem, I had to resist my instincts and learn to hang back a bit and just let the ENFP come to me more, rather than have me jumping all over them constantly. I consciously made efforts to give them the option to keep their distance at little more or further pursue interaction. It was tough, though! I don't know how well I could do that on a long term basis.

    What I'd really like to know from ENFPs: how others can tell that their relationship is closer than usual? Is there a clear distinction between shallow relationships and more intimate ones? Is there are major obvious change in the dynamic when you become closer to someone or is subtler and harder to spot? A what sorts of things would you want get out of a ideal friendship?

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    It's very common for one person in any sort of relationship to feel that the connection is more significant than the other person does. You've probably been on the opposite end of this dichotomy any number of times.

    I've seen what you describe happen with lots of people from lots of different types, with no particular pattern toward ENFP. Most F types encounter the same thing periodically, and even some Ts.

    This isn't really a special ENFP quality.
    I could imagine it happening with greater frequency to ENFPs, though.

    Kinda sad if you ask me...

  4. #14
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Your clarification helps...some :/ but really the op is totally cringe worthy..sorry but no can't relate. I value connections I make with people and would never think it was of more importance them. If anything I'd likely feel the opposite...people touch me all the time even seemingly meaningless interactions..I just tend to view these connections as a shared thing.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    What I'd really like to know from ENFPs: how others can tell that their relationship is closer than usual? Is there a clear distinction between shallow relationships and more inimate ones? Is there are major obvious change in the dynamic when you become closer to someone or is subtler and harder to spot? A what sorts of things would you want get out of a ideal friendship?
    Great questions...


  6. #16
    Senior Member Into It's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post

    I've seen what you describe happen with lots of people from lots of different types, with no particular pattern toward ENFP. Most F types encounter the same thing periodically, and even some Ts.
    This isn't really a special ENFP quality.
    I have noticed an extraordinary trend as far as people feeling drawn to/associating emotionally with the ENF types. And I think this skill or quality actually might be more common in NF types than in others, that is to say, the only reason INFP's and INFJ's may have people drawn to them somewhat less (which is not to say that they wouldn't contribute emotionally to the relationship, they would - perhaps much more than the Extroverts) is that they are reserved and may take a little longer to know. I think NF's may put themselves in others' shoes more easily or often than other temperaments.

    But to respond more directly to the OP:
    An inscription above the gate to Hell:
    "Eternal Love also created me"

  7. #17
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    What I'd really like to know from ENFPs: how others can tell that their relationship is closer than usual? Is there a clear distinction between shallow relationships and more intimate ones? Is there are major obvious change in the dynamic when you become closer to someone or is subtler and harder to spot? A what sorts of things would you want get out of a ideal friendship?
    #1 - Southern Kross, an excellent question that I've considered myself. Let me think about this a bit before a more thorough response.

    #2 - BTW, I'm oscillating between embarrassment and self-satisfaction for giving this thread such an obnoxious title. Please forgive me for the annoying qualities of the title... and yet hopefully the naysayers will chuckle a bit while rolling their eyes at the obnoxiousness of it.


  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    Your clarification helps...some :/ but really the op is totally cringe worthy..sorry but no can't relate. I value connections I make with people and would never think it was of more importance them. If anything I'd likely feel the opposite...people touch me all the time even seemingly meaningless interactions..I just tend to view these connections as a shared thing.
    Yeah, man, it is a pretty cold-hearted post.

    Rings a little bit of psychological disorder. I dunno...

    Something about the way you (btw, OP, are you a guy or a girl?) so coldly lay it out there is chilling...

  9. #19
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Yeah, man, it is a pretty cold-hearted post. Rings a little bit of psychological disorder. I dunno...Something about the way you (btw, OP, are you a guy or a girl?) so coldly lay it out there is chilling...
    I did not intend on sounding overly narcissistic. It's just that I've found one of the foibles of getting older is that I have an increasingly minimal patience for bull sh*t.

    I don't mean to be "I'm God's gift to humanity" in my OP. But I see no reason to beat around the bush either.

    I am a she and not a he, btw... at least the last time I looked. Maybe I should check again.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    I am a she and not a he, btw... at least the last time I looked. Maybe I should check again.
    Why so snippy? The poster was just asking, no one can know the gender of anyone else on here until they ask. We've all been led astray by avatars and screen names.

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