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  1. #1
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    Default infj's and indecision

    So, I recently decided to return back to school. I'm 25 and even though I am married I'm in no real hurry to "grow up" as it were. It's barely midsemester and I'm already bored with my current major. It's not that I don't like what I'm doing, my grades are top-notch, but something just doesn't feel right. But that's the problem, it always..doesn't feel right. I'm an excellent student, I do well at whatever I try...but I always seem to be looking for that one thing. That one day its just going to click and i'll know what i'm supposed to do with myself...again..the problem is..it ALL CLICKS. i can give a hundred and one reasons for why i could succeed at a hundred and one different things..and they all seem like good decisions..

    So, i guess what i'm trying to get at..is..how can an infj just..go with the flow..and really stick to something...is there ever that one thing? ahhh...its got me so confused i feel like i dont even make sense anymore

    thanks for your time

    alex

  2. #2
    Member michL87's Avatar
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    You need to find your life passion, and it needs to be something long-term that you can work on for the rest of your life

    So yes, there is that "one thing," and you'll know what it is when you find it. But until then you'll just kind of feel like you're floundering (or at least that's how I was until I found mine.)
    "Imagination creates beauty, hope, magic, and happiness, which are everything in this world."

  3. #3
    Phantonym
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    Yup, it never feels right. I haven't found that "one thing" either but I know it's out there, somewhere.

    Nah, it's not really "out there", I think it's more "within". Peace of mind or whatever. That no matter what you do, it feels right at this particular moment. It might be different tomorrow, but what is essential is that feeling of peace in the present moment.

    Anyway, if other INFJs have found "it" and managed to make it stick, I'd be interested to hear about it as well.

  4. #4
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    thanks for the words

    i kind of float between happy in the moment and looking for something to stick..im lucky that i have a good support structure that lets me float around from interest to interest. I just sometimes feel like everyone is thinking "here we go again...she's going to try something new" yarrrrrrrgh!!

  5. #5
    Member michL87's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Anyway, if other INFJs have found "it" and managed to make it stick, I'd be interested to hear about it as well.
    I found mine a year and a half ago in writing. Writing's always been a part of me, but I never thought it would be possible to be a novelist. Then I realized I would never know if I could succeed or not if I didn't try, so I wrote a novel. I ended up signing with a reputable literary agent a few months later.

    This was all fairly recent, but it's amazing how much I've changed and grown in the past year and a half after finally realizing my passion and going for it. Becoming a successful author is a long-term goal, so I no longer feel like I'm bouncing around aimlessly. It's nice to have that feeling of finding your purpose in life--something you can always reach for.
    "Imagination creates beauty, hope, magic, and happiness, which are everything in this world."

  6. #6
    Senior Member scortia's Avatar
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    My problem with making things stick is that I fancy so many things. I am really flighty and lose interest in any one thing quickly. A big issue is that the concept and the "feeling", not the details, are what draw me in. When it comes to insignificant technical things... my drive totally dies.

    But yeah, with a love for music composition, art, writing, directing and educating groups of people.... it's too much to focus on just one. Or, my passion in life is to FULLY create, construct, and direct musicals for the stage. It's about the only way I could balance everything at once.

    The answer to everything probably could be answered with "balance."

  7. #7
    Senior Member hokie912's Avatar
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    Yeah, I definitely find that this is a problem for me, too. Fortunately I found psychology as an undergrad major pretty early, but then I was distracted by biology for a while. And figuring out what I'd like to study in grad school has been ridiculous. I've considered everything from developmental psychology to public health to social work to counseling. Right now I'm thinking that I'll do a dual Masters program in social work and public health. I think my problem is that I've narrowed down my area of focus (childhood trauma/abuse and neglect), but I can see it from so many perspectives that I'm having trouble choosing one approach (say, policy development as opposed to clincial work). I hate closing off options when I'm not completely sure what I want. I envy the people who can pick one path and completely throw themselves into it!

  8. #8
    Sniffles
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    Well I certainly certainly notice that if something doesn't really click with me, it REALLY doesn't click with me, no matter how much others might persuate me otherwise. OTOH, if something does click with me, there's no way to shake it off. So yeah, perhaps you haven't found your thing yet.

    Of course I can also relate to the issue of having so many interests it's often hard for them to stick, or rather stay at the forefront of my mind for any extended period of time.

  9. #9
    Junior Member Amagi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by killersloth View Post
    So, I recently decided to return back to school. I'm 25 and even though I am married I'm in no real hurry to "grow up" as it were. It's barely midsemester and I'm already bored with my current major. It's not that I don't like what I'm doing, my grades are top-notch, but something just doesn't feel right. But that's the problem, it always..doesn't feel right. I'm an excellent student, I do well at whatever I try...but I always seem to be looking for that one thing. That one day its just going to click and i'll know what i'm supposed to do with myself...again..the problem is..it ALL CLICKS. i can give a hundred and one reasons for why i could succeed at a hundred and one different things..and they all seem like good decisions..
    All of that is said as if I had written it. I completely identify so please know you are not alone in this kind of struggle. I wish I had suggestions for you as to how you might go about actively trying to find that "one thing" but I do not. Is there a "one thing" for everyone? I'm not sure about that... but that would depend on your outlook on life and things more involved than personality. I hope that you can find peace. I definitely know that's available for everyone.

  10. #10
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    Yup, it never feels right. I haven't found that "one thing" either but I know it's out there, somewhere.
    YOU are a BAKER!!!



    Do NOT Fight YOUR Destiny!!!!!!
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

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