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  1. #31
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    ^ Yes. This is good. Listen to the ENFP.

    They are like the ENTP's likeable cousins.
    Hee hee hee hee. I'm gonna put this in a signature.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by EricHanson View Post
    I figure I'd post this on the NF forums because NFs are so much better at getting people to open up than I am. It's like an NF trait.

    Recently, I have noticed that I have a lot of trouble getting people to open up, particularly determined shy people, and I find myself surrounded by them. I poke. I prod. I reveal more of myself. I act outrageous. I sit down next to them and engage in slow conversation. I tell them jokes. Play games. I ask questions. Nothing works.

    Obviously I am doing something wrong. How do you get introverted people to open up to you?
    I don't know, this might work. Whenever someone does all these things to/for me, and they're really persistent, I end up finding the whole thing funny and I look at such person like one would regard a cute little kid. Coincidentally, this was how an ENTP friend and I became friends.

    I think, you just have to be careful. If your motives aren't benign, we can smell it right away. Otherwise, everything I read seems innocent enough. Also, genuine interest in the person should be the only motivation to engaging them. Good luck!

  3. #33
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    i like extroverts, because they're easy to be with and get to know. with other introverts it takes much more time and effort and it can sort of dry up, because neither of us make the effort to see each other often enough.

    my best friends have always been extroverts. EFs usually get me to open up to them the fastest. they are considerate, but lively and open and make me feel at ease... i also love to go along with their suggestions and i like spontaneous ideas and stuff like that... and if i feel at ease with someone, i start making those myself :P i also love intellectual conversations. if someone is able to engage me on that level, it's an instant connection.

    i wouldn't mind getting to know someone like OP you come off as sincere... the only thing is that don't push. let it happen naturally and show the person that you can be trusted and can listen, as well.

  4. #34
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Hee hee hee hee. I'm gonna put this in a signature.
    Do I approve of all your future posts?? I guess.

  5. #35
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatusername View Post
    I don't know, this might work. Whenever someone does all these things to/for me, and they're really persistent, I end up finding the whole thing funny and I look at such person like one would regard a cute little kid. Coincidentally, this was how an ENTP friend and I became friends.

    I think, you just have to be careful. If your motives aren't benign, we can smell it right away. Otherwise, everything I read seems innocent enough. Also, genuine interest in the person should be the only motivation to engaging them. Good luck!
    Werrrrd.
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

  6. #36
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    Do I approve of all your future posts?? I guess.
    I'm gonna put that in a signature too.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  7. #37
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    Once a ISFJ friend of mine said it dehydrates him trying to keep up conversations with me. But he opens up quite well. I simply ask a lot of questions.

    But other than him I have noticed the introverts talk more when they are with me than when they are with others. Especially INTXs.

    So I would say the best answer to your question is, ask a few questions and make sure to keep a bottle close by lest they would dehydrate and die.

  8. #38
    にゃん runvardh's Avatar
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    Open your eyes more and your mouth less. If you notice something on their person or in what they're doing that is interesting ask, but don't crowd. Also, responses will come slowly and filling the air with noise (I call it static) to fill the void will reset that wait time, or even add to it. Think like your talking a cat out of a tree, rather than hyping up a dog to go outside. Also, as a few INFPs have said, if I think you're going to judge/take negatively something I'm thinking about saying, I won't say it.

    Edit: Also, if we notice something about you and show interest in it, talk, but keep that interest in mind as a subject to investigate later.
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  9. #39
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    It may just take some time. Finding a common subject of interest helps of course.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    I would distinguish between introverted and shy people (I read about a cute study in the subject - cannot give a reference now but scholar.google can be of help). Intoverted people sometimes don't like to engage with outside world - it provides too much stimulation for their liking. Shy people want to engage but are scared to do it (because say they care very much about opinion of others and don't want to get rejected). Those traits do not necessarily exclude one another - for example shyness can grow from introversion (less social experience).

    So basically it's good to know what you are dealing with. Is your friend shy or introverted ? So do they want to talk only sometimes and feel that otherwise it's too much? Or do they want to talk but feel scared, inadequate, a bit overwhelmed? Are the conversations annoying to them or scary?
    Hot-hearted head

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