[INFJ] So I'm an INFJ. How do I develop myself now?

[Tikka]

When I first came here, I thought I was an ENFJ. Spent several months reading here, the book of Lenore Thomson, and websites, and I'm convinced I'm an INFJ for most of the part. Too vivid inner life, too often shy away from people to be alone.

Okay, so, I want to develop myself as an INFJ. How can I help myself to grow as well as possible?

I know there are several INFJ-specific websites, but are there any books or DVDs or.... on developing yourself as an INFJ-person?

Should I talk to ESTPs more?

 

[scortia]

Haha talking to your opposite would definitely help with adding perspective. I find that NTs really help stimulate my thought process personally. Their analytical, unique thought process can form a sort of inspiration to my own concepts. They also are typically forward enough to point out a sound gap in your own NF logic... always good for personal growth.

I don't have any source for help, I just say "FIND YOURSELF"... it's pretty much what we do. Don't let anyone influence you unless you choose to take that and make it your own. Find your own voice. Also, perceive human nature... study it, learn from it, alter it in your own way: with art, writing, hell just in your day-to-day interactions.

 

[KLessard]

I found this link interesting. Like an INFJ mirror.

INFJ Personal Growth

 

[21%]

Develop your inferior function: Se?
(But if you could confuse yourself for an ENFJ, you might already have pretty well-developed Se )

Also, date Fi people for even more perspective

 

[cascadeco]

I don't have any source for help, I just say "FIND YOURSELF"... it's pretty much what we do. Don't let anyone influence you unless you choose to take that and make it your own. Find your own voice.

Although INFJ's as a group have definite similarities and 'trends' in their method of perceiving and approaching the world, we're still fairly diverse within our group (same would go for any type), with our own values, peculiarities, and demons... so I think personal growth will always be a pretty individualized process.

That said... in general, for any introvert, 'growth' would tend to be towards externalizing yourself and getting out of your comfort zone more: out of your head. Perhaps adjusting perceptions, trying new things...and for a dominant-intuitive, being present in this world, in the here-and-now, in the moment, is probably one of the most challenging things, as is Letting Go...but I believe Letting Go, embracing more of the unknown, and living more in the moment is also a token to more peace and happiness...and growth.

But, you (and other INFJ's) may decide otherwise or may find another path of growth.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

1. Develop more T.
2. Develop less F.
3. Develop more P.
4. Develop less J.
5. Develop more E.
6. Develop less I.

 

[Tikka]

I found this link interesting. Like an INFJ mirror.

INFJ Personal Growth

If they have also achieved a good amount of life wisdom, they can become powerful forces, such as Jesus (INFJ).

To become Jesus, sounds good to me.

Developing inferior functions is a nice one. Last summer, I went on a holiday trip with an ENTJ (Field Marshall) lawyer, and it drained me tremendously. I used too much Ni and Fe on her, which is apparently not very appreciated by an NT when tired and under stress. ('You don't need to tell me I feel tired!')

I could really relate to this thread:

http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/28539-i-really-do-despise-infj-shit-sometimes.html

In my opinion (and INFJs have high standards for themselves), the biggest favour I can do for myself is to grow a bigger spine. Of course I'm empathic and only happy when people around me are happy, but I feel that at times I need to be more assertive to protect myself, *and* that being assertive often leads to happier people around me. Most people don't like spineless others around them.

 

[bcvcdc]

Haha talking to your opposite would definitely help with adding perspective. I find that NTs really help stimulate my thought process personally. Their analytical, unique thought process can form a sort of inspiration to my own concepts. They also are typically forward enough to point out a sound gap in your own NF logic... always good for personal growth.

Just my opinion here, but I find NT's are helpful when it comes to certain creative projects (writing, art, crafts, etc.), but I do not want them around me at other times (any personal interactions).

 

[Zarathustra]

1. Develop more T.
2. Develop less F.
3. Develop more P.
4. Develop less J.
5. Develop more E.
6. Develop less I.

According to the theory:

- Developing P will increase your ability to use your "shadow" functions (in your case: Ne, Fi, Te, Si). If you achieve J/P balance, you should be apt at accessing all eight functions, instead of the "usual" four.

- Developing E will improve the balance between your primary and auxiliary (Ni and Fe) and tertiary and inferior (Ti and Se) functions. If you achieve I/E balance, you should be apt at moving from an introverted mindset to an extroverted mindset, being able to pick and choose when to more heavily use your dominant and auxiliary functions (Ni and Fe) and your tertiary and inferior functions (Ti and Se).

- Developing your T will increase your ability to use your tertiary function (Ti), as opposed to relying primarily on your dom and aux functions (Ni and Fe). This is important, cuz feelers who can't think well are annoying (as are thinkers who aren't good with their feelings). Also, if you manage to develop J/P balance and F/T balance, then you should be more apt at accessing your Te shadow function, as opposed to just (primarily) your Ne and Fi shadow functions.

 

[BlueScreen]

1. Develop more T.
2. Develop less F.
3. Develop more P.
4. Develop less J.
5. Develop more E.
6. Develop less I.

Thought I'd do a clarify of what I think each means.

Develop more T: Detach your immediate emotional or personal response and analyse the structure and reasoning behind things in depth.

Develop more P: Let the world around you be and change your inner world and self to change situations. Care less about what the world around you expects and when it expects it. Find a love of perfecting works over meeting deadlines.

Develop more E: Look for answers in the world around you and become more empirical. To see if the flowers are beautiful, resist the descriptions or symbolism and just stare at them until you see it. Love them for what they are, their intrinsic beauty, the smells, the tastes. I think photography is a great pursuit for introverts. People think to be more extroverted you have to be more social. It is more forming a bond with external information and the world around you. Looking outward for the answers. (note: this is sort of more EP than EJ, but you may as well aim high )

 

[Tikka]

Great answers, peoples.