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  1. #31
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I don't want anything terrible to happen to hardly anyone. Mild to moderately unpleasant, though . . .
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #32
    Senior Member Lacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    I don't want anything terrible to happen to hardly anyone. Mild to moderately unpleasant, though . . .
    Hmm...well, I guess if I think more about it, I guess there are a few people that I wouldn't mind mild to moderately unpleasant things happening to them...

    When I think of revenge/justice/comeuppance, I tend to think about it in extremes...since that's how most people in my life tend to treat it. :/

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lacey View Post
    Hmm...well, I guess if I think more about it, I guess there are a few people that I wouldn't mind mild to moderately unpleasant things happening to them...

    When I think of revenge/justice/comeuppance, I tend to think about it in extremes...since that's how most people in my life tend to treat it. :/
    I think of that bitch principal at my kids' old elementary and how I'd like to spray her VW Bug convertible down with some kind of corrosive substance! Just to cause a paint/body damage, not to eat away her break lines or anything. I can dream.

    I did get on World of Warcraft and name an orc after her once (the resemblance was pretty strong) and run her out into the desert naked to be stung to death by scorpions.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #34
    Senior Member The Outsider's Avatar
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    I can not relate at all. Seeing the person who offended me get hurt or anything like that would offer me no pleasure.

    If there is a problem, I'll deal with it while the problem is still there. I don't concern myself with what comes after.

  5. #35
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lacey View Post
    There have been people who've done terrible things to me, but still at the same time...I don't really want anything terrible to happen to them. I don't know why that is.

    It does bother me A LOT though, when good people aren't rewarded and life basically craps all over them.
    Thanks people, interesting responses and different viewpoints And yeah, I agree with the above, especially the last bit!

    In a wayI dont think its so much that I secretly crave revenge or that I really want something bad to happen to them as a result of their bad behaviour. Maybe its a combination of jealousy and offended sense of justice on my part. Because it just seems sometimes almost as though people get rewarded for their bad behaviour. A slightly crude example would be, someone cheating on their spouse without remorse, hurting the spouse terribly, and then going off with the person they cheated with, and having a wonderfully happy life with them.

    In my case, someone recently hurt my feelings badly, showed that they placed little or no value on my friendship, and that they had little trust or respect for me (in a situation where I had really tried to show trust and respect to them.) Theyre now off travelling the world and from the bits I have heard from mutual friends, having a superb time and loads of fun. I, on the other hand, have had a rotten winter where its been dark and cold, Ive had a hard time finding work and am very stressed about life, a few friends have diedetc.

    Obviously, the rotten winter has absolutely nothing to do with this person who messed me around, except for dealing with some very hurt feelings (which has added to the stress etc.) And I know from the above I sound like a total moaner. It justseems unfair. Especially because I know this person has behaved badly in other ways and they have no sense of acceptance of responsibility.

    I know that this person already has a hard time maintaining good and meaningful relationships and someday maybe they will actually notice (if they havent already.) It would be a form of karma/justice served if they realised this some day and felt remorse/regret over it. But some people seem to be able to remain in a state of happy oblivious selfish immaturity where theyre not aware of this sort of thing at all especially charmers, like this person, who may not be able to maintain sustained meaningful friendships, but they have no problem at all finding new people to have fun with wherever they go.

    I guess it just bugs me that people can cause damage and then obliviously go their way to have fun. Either the moment of reckoning (even if its just internal realisation of their bad behaviour) has not yet come or it may never come or it has come but theyre hiding it damn well.
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  6. #36
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    Fe seems hardcore on the comeuppance thing. I, myself, get revenge fantasies. It has to be a major thing though. Once I label a person a "jerk", it's not good.

  7. #37
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    In any such cases, I would probably totally forgive someone who came back to me months or years later and said "Man, I was an asshole then. I am so sorry that I screwed you around and would like to make amends if at all possible. I've also been doing my best to make amends to any other people I've knowingly hurt through my stupid actions. Here are some concrete examples of how I've changed and grown as a person. Please forgive me for being such a jerk."

    Depends a bit on circumstances but that would almost certainly result in me forgiving someone totally and utterly and maybe even saying something like "don't be so hard on yourself" But I can dream on that this kind of thing is ever going to happen with most people...
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  8. #38

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    I personally have no desire for the ones that hurt me to suffer. I would however, like them to try an make amends

  9. #39
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pitseleh View Post
    Fe seems hardcore on the comeuppance thing. I, myself, get revenge fantasies. It has to be a major thing though. Once I label a person a "jerk", it's not good.
    LOL. Yeah, I have an INFP daughter and if she's going to get, you it's going to right when you tick her off.

    She is in middle school and as she was getting off the bus one day, she saw a kid picking on an autistic acquaintance of hers. She flew off the bus and ran up to the kid and kicked him in the shin and that was pretty much the end of that.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #40
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Vengeance is a dish best served cold. And with a side of A-1 sauce.

    Actually, scratch that, I loooooove the equivalent of jumping up, pointing, and yelling, 'IN YO FACE!!!??!!" Does this mean I am a spiritually lower evolved being? Maybe. But, that also means that ^^ is so damn satisfying!!! LOL.

    I think I differ from my friends because when someone is really on my "ish list" and they get called out for it or something bad happens to them related to the offense - I feel pretty satisfied. I don't even front by saying "I almost feel bad". Because I don't. It's only right in the world. When bad things happen to "bad people" I feel glee. It makes me happy.

    BTW, there is a difference between 'justice' because an act is righted or addressed and the concept of 'vindictive' which is just unleashing hurt because someone hurt you.

    "Vindictive" --> there is no equanimity, you will never be satisfied and the hurt you unleash does not necessarily match the original offense. It matches your ego. Also, it's personal.

    "Justice" --> on the other hand truly is blind and is action oriented, not subject specific. "Punishment fits the crime [not the criminal, not the prosecutor, not necessarily the victim]"

    Of course everyone feels justified in their anger or dislike of someone else - we need to feel justified for those feelings to continue.

    For me though, to answer the OP, if I don't like you - to a scaleable point - your misfortunates elicits no sympathy from me. And in fact, it can make my day.

    It has to be proportional though and not involve innocent 3rd parties. For instance, I'm a little annoyed with you because you are a bossy loudmouthed coworker --> you spill [not burning hot] coffee all over yourself it makes me go :hee hee: on the inside. Same coworker --> mother gets hospitalized. Of course I feel just as bad for the coworker and their mom as I would for any other acquaintance.

    Having said all that ^^ I do think from speaking with others that I can be more classically "vengeful" or "unsympathetic" than the norm. Again, certain 'bad things' happening to certain people can really make my day. I don't necessarily characterize the people as "bad people" --> I just don't like them or they have done/are doing something specific that irks me. See, at least at can make that distinction. And I don't necessarily harbor revenge schemes or want to do anything to the people myself, just when something does happen and :hee hee:.

    On the flip, I also realize people can wish the same of me and accept it as a way of the world.

    I think I'm in the minority view point partly because it is not socially condoned to admit publicy to this ^^. I gladly answer honestly on personality tests, "Do you ever wish misfortune on others?" "Do you ever find pleasure in other's misfortune's?"
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

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