[INFP] What is the best way to tell an INFP you love them?

[BlackCat]

Finding out the INFP's love languages and enneagram type would help a lot more.

 

[mr.awesome]

Ive been in this situation with 2 different NFP's.
the one, INFP, it was extremely similar to your situation, we liked each other from the start and then it took a healthy amount of time for us to express our feelings for each other... 3 months id say. i would be lying if i said i rememberd the first time 'i love you' came out in a sentence. but it was expressed best when i would just sort of be fantasy-based and be silly and lighthearted and say things that reallly are gushy and emotional. but do not fake a word. as INFP's can sense that shiz like crazy. when the situation comes up, youll both be acting all cute and gushy, then let it out. let her know exactly how you feel at that moment with her. praise her strengths and promise to soften the blow of the weaknesses.
the other girl.. an ENFP, its been a year, and its never been to the point where it was a moment where we both felt mutual on our feelings for each other. as her feelings for me were made apparent honestly in like a week. ive never heard the word love so much in my life than in that period of time where we both liked each other. i wasnt at that point yet though, and it really just sorta ruined it, as it was disheartening that she found so much about me that she 'loved' in such a short amount of time. so the timing has to be right, it should be mutual.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Work on some serious trust building. If she's that oblivious blunt news will come as a shock so be prepared for another six months of waffling. If you have the intestinal fortitude to hang on through all that then go for it. I remember two years of conversations before becoming an 'item' with the guy I eventually married four years later.

Yes...be prepared to take it slow. A huge confession of love can be overwhelming. I'm personally suspicious of feelings formed quickly, so someone telling me they've fallen in love with me over the past 2 weeks would make me uncomfortable. I might also feel pressured to make a decision, which I don't like.

However, I also like to know a persons' intentions, so being honest about your new romantic interest in her seems like a good idea. She will probably begin to sense you acting differently towards her anyway. Don't put pressure on her, but tell her you'd like to try being more than friends & see where it leads. Once you're on the same page, then things can progress naturally.

Anyhow, that's how I think I would respond best in such a situation, and I think it's pretty typical INFP. Maybe you'd expect some grand, romantic gesture would be in order, but usually those sort of things just embarrass me, seem cheesy/fake, and can come on too strong.

The best way someone can show me they care about me is to spend a lot of time with me, make me a priority, engage me in "deeper" conversation & value my viewpoint. Verbal affection is nice, but only if it's sincere & not overdone. The more "original" and "authentic" the better.

They're INFP. They already know.

They know, but then they second guess it and talk themselves out of it. Humble to a fault

 

[copperfish17]

They know, but then they second guess it and talk themselves out of it. Humble to a fault

Yes, an INFP I know does this... wayyyyy too much!

She second-guesses herself even when the "signs" are IN HER FACE.



If you don't tell an INFP girl straight-out about your feelings, you won't get anywhere.

 

[heart]

I have to tell her I love her, but I must do it in a way that accommodates her fantasy. I should probably ask her what that fantasy is before I do it, but in a subtle way of course...

I don't understand why a simple "I love you" isn't a viable option.

Btw, this doesn't involve a pirate outfit or something, does it?

 

[BRMC117]

They're INFP. They already know.

HA HA love it! but you really need to work on the trust. and that will take sometime i am sure of.

 

[JustHer]

Write her a letter... the INFPs I know love that shit. And I agree with what was said above about providing a list of logical reasons why you love her. Put that in the letter.

 

[BerberElla]

Write her a letter... the INFPs I know love that shit. And I agree with what was said above about providing a list of logical reasons why you love her. Put that in the letter.

I'm not sure if this would work for me.

I was once demanded to give someone I loved, a bullet point list of logical reasons why I loved them, and nothing ever stumped me more, since I couldn't think of one logical reason for it to be so.

On the other hand, no one has ever given me a list of things they love about me, so maybe it might work.

I just doubt it, since I see words as so meaningless. What you love about me today, may not be who I am tomorrow.

Just tell me you love me once with words, and the rest with consistent action, and I may one day come to believe that actually, yes it's true, someone really does love me.

Until then, all you say are just words.

 

[Glycerine]

Be very sincere, be considerate on how they would feel, engage in witty banter and their playful side, and show your love through actions. They are usually good at seeing through empty words.

 

[heart]

I'm not sure if this would work for me.

I was once demanded to give someone I loved, a bullet point list of logical reasons why I loved them, and nothing ever stumped me more, since I couldn't think of one logical reason for it to be so.

On the other hand, no one has ever given me a list of things they love about me, so maybe it might work.

I just doubt it, since I see words as so meaningless. What you love about me today, may not be who I am tomorrow.

Just tell me you love me once with words, and the rest with consistent action, and I may one day come to believe that actually, yes it's true, someone really does love me.

Until then, all you say are just words.

+1

 

[InvisibleJim]

Nothing says 'I love you' like a banner...

Only joking

 

[linnifae]

I'm not sure if this would work for me.

I was once demanded to give someone I loved, a bullet point list of logical reasons why I loved them, and nothing ever stumped me more, since I couldn't think of one logical reason for it to be so.

On the other hand, no one has ever given me a list of things they love about me, so maybe it might work.

I just doubt it, since I see words as so meaningless. What you love about me today, may not be who I am tomorrow.

Just tell me you love me once with words, and the rest with consistent action, and I may one day come to believe that actually, yes it's true, someone really does love me.

Until then, all you say are just words.

I would LOVE for someone to do that for me. Seriously.

 

[demaugustus]

Wow... I came back to this forum and there are so many helpful replies and I can't respond to every single one, but thank you very much!

 

[simulatedworld]

I would think INFPs would be one of the easier types to express love for. Just tell her outright that you love her individuality and think she is a really special person who touches your heart. Fi doms are the ones who appreciate that stuff most

 

[yvonne]

tell her something specific... like that you love holding her hand, or that you love her eyes...

try to do it in the right moment. tell her you like her thoughts. nothing beats showing your love by touching for me, though... but it has to feel right.

hope this helped *shy* lol

 

[seamaid]

- Do something you would only do for *her*.
- Be her "knight-in-shining-armor".
- Be attentive and considerate. Like you only have eyes for her and sometimes, the world disappears because of how radiant she is. =P
- Really show you enjoy being around her. I *love* when I make a guy laugh!

If the INFP has the same feelings for you, these acts will sweep her off her feet.

 

[seamaid]

- Do something you would only do for *her*.
- Be her "knight-in-shining-armor".
- Be attentive and considerate. Like you only have eyes for her and sometimes, the world disappears because of how radiant she is. =P
- Really show you enjoy being around her. I *love* when I make a guy laugh!

If the INFP has the same feelings for you, these acts will sweep her off her feet.

 

[Ape]

How to tell them you love them?

A box of fancy Euro chocolates, a hand written note reflecting your shared intimacy, touching her heart with words. Lots of light and breezy touches, walking in the rain, being there when she needs a shoulder to cry on and of course, getting her drunk, then scrubbing her up and then tonguing her stinky balloon knot.

Best to watch lesbian porn prior to licking her stinky brown starfish, so as to relax any trepidations you may have. Chicks can sense trepidation when in mount position. A real romance buzzkill. Best to rid yourself of trepidation, before attacking the stinky brown freckle.

 

[Fecal McAngry]

Show that you understand the baggage that comes with an intimate relationship with an INFP--and that you aren't phased by it:

YouTube - Street legal track 5, Is your love in vain?

YouTube - The beatles - Don't Let Me Down With Lyrics

 

[Southern Kross]

Yes...be prepared to take it slow. A huge confession of love can be overwhelming. I'm personally suspicious of feelings formed quickly, so someone telling me they've fallen in love with me over the past 2 weeks would make me uncomfortable. I might also feel pressured to make a decision, which I don't like.

However, I also like to know a persons' intentions, so being honest about your new romantic interest in her seems like a good idea. She will probably begin to sense you acting differently towards her anyway. Don't put pressure on her, but tell her you'd like to try being more than friends & see where it leads. Once you're on the same page, then things can progress naturally.

Anyhow, that's how I think I would respond best in such a situation, and I think it's pretty typical INFP. Maybe you'd expect some grand, romantic gesture would be in order, but usually those sort of things just embarrass me, seem cheesy/fake, and can come on too strong.

The best way someone can show me they care about me is to spend a lot of time with me, make me a priority, engage me in "deeper" conversation & value my viewpoint. Verbal affection is nice, but only if it's sincere & not overdone. The more "original" and "authentic" the better.



They know, but then they second guess it and talk themselves out of it. Humble to a fault

I'm not sure if this would work for me.

I was once demanded to give someone I loved, a bullet point list of logical reasons why I loved them, and nothing ever stumped me more, since I couldn't think of one logical reason for it to be so.

On the other hand, no one has ever given me a list of things they love about me, so maybe it might work.

I just doubt it, since I see words as so meaningless. What you love about me today, may not be who I am tomorrow.

Just tell me you love me once with words, and the rest with consistent action, and I may one day come to believe that actually, yes it's true, someone really does love me.

Until then, all you say are just words.

^ The best advice here.

To sort of reiterate and interweave these thoughts I have to dispel some misinformation about INFPs. We are not these emotional beings that are easily and overwhelming moved by any degree of sentiment. We are the highest critics of emotional expression - not just anything will do. I find sentimentality and cliqued romantic gestures to be very repelling. Its like emptily going through the motions of romance and hoping this will result in actual feeling. Genuine, truthful emotions are so much more interesting and appealing. The way to acheive this is to be honest with yourself and her. A understated, matter of fact, or offhand expression of feeling in an inane situation such as washing the dishes, is so much more romantic to me than a grand declaration on a moonlit walk on the beach.

Also remember words are easy. They're easy to say and easy to take back. I'm not sure about other INFPs but I'm suspicious (well, more cautious) of the things people say - they always disguise underlying truths. My ISFP friend has a saying: "love is an action word". In other words, you can't just say it, you have to prove it in your everyday behaviour. If you love her, show that its an unselfish love and be generous with yourself. Show interest in and spend time doing the things she likes, listen to her (and remember what she says), do things to help her out without her asking etc. This isn't as showy or straight-forward as flattery and grand romantic declarations but its so much more meaningful (and much more appreciated by a INFP). Hopefully, if you do more of this she may start to feel more of a connection with you and will open herself up to you more.