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Thread: What is the best way to tell an INFP you love them?

  1. #41
    Away with the fairies Array Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    4w5 so/sp


    Quote Originally Posted by Fecal McAngry View Post
    Show that you understand the baggage that comes with an intimate relationship with an INFP--and that you aren't phased by it:

    YouTube - Street legal track 5, Is your love in vain?

    YouTube - The beatles - Don't Let Me Down With Lyrics
    Nice examples.

    I always think of (especially in regards to my above comments) of:

    YouTube - Extreme - More Than Words

    (Beware, men with long hair and 90s cheesiness! )

  2. #42
    Paragon Gone Wrong Array OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    4w5 sp/sx
    IEI Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    ^ The best advice here.

    To sort of reiterate and interweave these thoughts I have to dispel some misinformation about INFPs. We are not these emotional beings that are easily and overwhelming moved by any degree of sentiment. We are the highest critics of emotional expression - not just anything will do. I find sentimentality and cliqued romantic gestures to be very repelling. Its like emptily going through the motions of romance and hoping this will result in actual feeling. Genuine, truthful emotions are so much more interesting and appealing. The way to acheive this is to be honest with yourself and her. A understated, matter of fact, or offhand expression of feeling in an inane situation such as washing the dishes, is so much more romantic to me than a grand declaration on a moonlit walk on the beach.

    Also remember words are easy. They're easy to say and easy to take back. I'm not sure about other INFPs but I'm suspicious (well, more cautious) of the things people say - they always disguise underlying truths. My ISFP friend has a saying: "love is an action word". In other words, you can't just say it, you have to prove it in your everyday behaviour. If you love her, show that its an unselfish love and be generous with yourself. Show interest in and spend time doing the things she likes, listen to her (and remember what she says), do things to help her out without her asking etc. This isn't as showy or straight-forward as flattery and grand romantic declarations but its so much more meaningful (and much more appreciated by a INFP). Hopefully, if you do more of this she may start to feel more of a connection with you and will open herself up to you more.
    Yes, this explains it very well.
    I particularly like the phrasing of the bolded part. That needs to be in INFP descriptions .
    "Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself. But it's always with love - So much love it looks like everything else. Charlotte Sometimes - So far away, glass sealed and pretty." - The Cure

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx - 451| RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive

  3. #43
    Senior Member Array Rebe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009


    the highest critics of emotional expression
    Yes, if you do it wrong, we will not make fun of you but we will lose all respect for you.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    They're INFP. They already know.
    Hahahaha too right

  5. #45


    Ha! You're definitely ENTJ, I don't doubt you there. But how do you tell an INFP you love them. You said you want to pull her out of her fantasy land and tell her the "reality" of your feelings. But maybe you should embrace that fantasy side of her instead. It may be hard, but if you show that your feelings are real (and perhaps not facts or statistics) then that will help.

    Because INFPs love authenticity, that's a defining characteristic. If you haven't told her, tell her!!! There is little way for us to know that you like us besides that! As long as you're real and your actions manifest your words, you should be fine.
    Likes Beautifullife liked this post

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