• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFP] ENFP: The ENFP bitchslap

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
holy hell.

if there is any description fitting to the way I react to a problem, it's that.
I feel almost relieved to know that it is an ENFP trait, and not some insane problem I have.

<3 you guys!

I heart you too onewithsoul.

(Told you K.)
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
There's a huge difference between learned behaviour and the existence of a cognitive function. There's a basic rule too that lesser functions serve higher functions, which is different from learned behaviour serving the person. However, if you wish to assign titles to learned behaviour, naming them "my Te" or "that Fe I was doing the other day", feel free. It's sociology rather than personality theory.
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
Finally-on a personal note.

128 wall messages over the course of a year
20 emails last summer
22 PMs and 28 emails in five weeks this year after I shut off Pms

I triede several times to establish distance understanding the lack of emotional safety.

Over and over I explained-my Fi is puny, I dont understand emo. I suck at emo. I am like a child using Fi. You knew this.

I told you "I feel like I am swimming in Kalach flavored glue. Yeah just let me know if this sounds silly. Please let me know if you dont like me. Please let me know if i have misunderstood things. It's okay to say you dont like me, it is okay to say this will never be reality. It's okay to reject my silly puppy love crush. I am so retarded. It's okay to be just friends. Just be honest and let me know." I said these things quite a bit I recall.

So you let it drag on for like five weeks, with me everyday saying shit like the above, then seemed surprised about me getting hurt.

Not cool K, not cool.

Yeah sorry I flamed your ass, totally out of line and horribly inappropriate, but damn you hurt my feelings worse than anybody has ever done before. You were my friend and you acted like a douche-knowing me better than anybody else here.

You were not honest K. It hurt and I totally snapped in emo fucking insanity after you wouldnt leave me alone. I am sorry but you knew my emotions were kinda delicate and I did ask for clarification so many, many times.

yeah, that.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
Finally-on a personal note.

128 wall messages over the course of a year
20 emails last summer
22 PMs and 28 emails in five weeks this year after I shut off Pms

I triede several times to establish distance understanding the lack of emotional safety.

Over and over I explained-my Fi is puny, I dont understand emo. I suck at emo. I am like a child using Fi. You knew this.

I told you "I feel like I am swimming in Kalach flavored glue. Yeah just let me know if this sounds silly. Please let me know if you dont like me. Please let me know if i have misunderstood things. It's okay to say you dont like me, it is okay to say this will never be reality. It's okay to reject my silly puppy love crush. I am so retarded. It's okay to be just friends. Just be honest and let me know." I said these things quite a bit I recall.

So you let it drag on for like five weeks, with me everyday saying shit like the above, then seemed surprised about me getting hurt.

Not cool K, not cool.

Yeah sorry I flamed your ass, totally out of line and horribly inappropriate, but damn you hurt my feelings worse than anybody has ever done before. You were my friend and you acted like a douche-knowing me better than anybody else here.

You were not honest K. It hurt and I totally snapped in emo fucking insanity after you wouldnt leave me alone. I am sorry but you knew my emotions were kinda delicate and I did ask for clarification so many, many times.

yeah, that.

Now there's the slap I know and love. True and irrevocable facts demonstrating the primacy of... subjective evaluation. Which would look silly if the subjective evaluation weren't so... very, very important. Overblown, even. And then everything would be justified. Indeed, anything could be justified.

Smo-o-o-o-th.


Hugs for the lumpy, bumpy faux Fe.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
aww shit...hugs guys that sucks. :hug:
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
So anyway. WTF is going on here?

The case for ENFP: well, massive subjective over-evaluation, way out of step with actual connections. But that's kind of an insult to ENFPs.

The case for ENTP: it's public, it includes social engineering, it allows "feeling" to be public property and have a kind of commercial value. But that's kind of an insult to ENTPs because has there been any good thinking used yet?

The case for ESTJ: poor Te, but that's me being Ni-ist.

The case for ESFJ: well... really, y'know... how is it impossible?


Is anyone cooperating to learn what is true here? There is a idiosyncratic public agenda that has existed for some long time, years worth of time. Is the focus on truth? Let's just get it over with and say, hell no, truth isn't what's going on here.

But is it subjective over-evaluation or objective over-evaluation? Or run-of-the-mill internet nutcase?




Sports fans, ^ that is what Te over Fi looks like, and actually labelling it Fi-driven will not satisfy it, because it'll need to be Te-satisfied before Fi will be satisfied. And y'know, it took a while, because mostly I don't take account of what others think they're getting away with, but this fucker keeps on keeping on--what is going on here?



Oh, um and EDIT: I do hope you are getting the message here, sports fans--a shitload of projection was needed before I was able to be cast in the stalker role. Those several billion emails and PMs, sent at like a rate of one every five minutes? Look it up people, although it has an upsetting and generally misleading name, it's called the game of Rape. Accept contact, have contact, cry rape, be looked after. But rape is rape, right? There must be something guilty in there.

As I say, smo-o-o-o-th.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
You've never had someone tell you how wrong-wrong-baddie-wrong you are and to keep it on and on so that one day you'll tell them how sorry you are for being told you were wrong? Love, Jag, that's what that is. True romance. It is the hope of the future generations.



[Cursing edited out, thanks so much Dr Typeless, so in lieu of actually strengthening the remaining now fairly wimpy paragraph, let's just assume an atmosphere of antagonism]
 
Last edited by a moderator:

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
I've never allowed my feelings to be public property, so I don't know if your ENTP theory holds water. ENTPs don't live in the public as much as you think we do.

Just because something takes place in public doesn't make it extraverted, just unfortunate. And introverted functions takes place internally, sure, but that doesn't mean it can't be shared with the public.

But to answer your question, more like a woman scorned than an internet nutcase. Or were you asking about yourself?
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
I don't think ENTP either except for this pusillanimous pretend directive extraverted feeling.

Coz either she's a type, or fucked up.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
I don't think ENTP either except for this pusillanimous pretend directive extraverted feeling.

Coz either she's a type, or fucked up.

I like that word, pusillanimous. Great choice there.

I still don't see where she exhibits extraverted feeling. Displaying emotions publicly does not equal Fe. The feeling (F), in this case, is a misnomer for emotions.

For someone like me, who uses extraverted feeling, I would rather die than have everyone see this sort of exchange from me. Ok, not actually die, but I would want to crawl under a rock, for sure.

Her behavior is of someone asking for advice and almost obsessing over something. This is not so unusual for an ENFP.

Why does it matter so much to you anyway? Is it really about the type, or is it to keep the lines of communication open?
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
I wish to agree that it's not Fe. It's pretend. It's social engineering. Using the force of other people to create a result. Te in service of... something.

That's if this is particularly easily represented as a type issue. Which it doesn't seem like it really is. Calling out type here was done with a purpose: to ask the question, where the fuck did this come from?



But hey, I know I'm magnetic.





EDIT: why does it matter to me? Well, I let it more or less ride for this long and it took a while to move from confused to pissed off.... my subjective evaluation is "I don't like this anymore.". It's a thing that has stunk for too long. Time to blow off the steam.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Yes, I missed the part where you said it was pretend earlier. Or maybe I didn't quite understand what you meant.

I think it's better that you don't ask the questions (publicly) that you don't want the answers to (publicly). It may be easier to just not know, don't you think? Because when you call it to the forefront, it then demands attention.

And if you really want my opinion, I'd say that this has nothing to do with using people for a greater purpose. I think it's more of a direct reaction to all of the indirect actions (real or perceived). It seemed like you were dancing around something (publicly) and she got fed up and called it what it was (publicly). But her reaction was the explosive one, so it appears that she is the one who is out of control. Whoever orchestrated that whole scene is the one who has the real command of Fe.

But that's just my opinion... :whistling:


EDIT: why does it matter to me? Well, I let it more or less ride for this long and it took a while to move from confused to pissed off.... my subjective evaluation is "I don't like this anymore.". It's a thing that has stunk for too long. Time to blow off the steam.

Since you like Lenore, here is some tert temptation stuff for you:

Tertiary Fi (IxTJ): "I can't possibly go along with this, because it would mar my soul. It's not 'me'. I am a good person, and in order to maintain my integrity, I need to steer clear of this. This is the responsibility of those other people: it emerges from their souls, not mine, so it's their problem." The Secondary Function (Te) would say: "Do something. Take responsibility even if no one gave it to you, and go after some tangible gain right now, within the limits of the situation and your current understanding. That will improve your position, after which you can re-assess and plot a new course."

and for her:

Tertiary Te (ExFP): "Unfair!! I have to stick to my guns, I will not be bullied or cheated. Any number of authorities agree with me. All my friends agree with me. Everyone can see that my response is directly mandated by the situation: anything else would be irresponsible. These facts absolutely settle the matter, and there is no point in looking at it any further." The Secondary Function (Fi) would say: "Fair or not, reasonable or not, recognized by anyone or not, what would truly accomplish some good here?"
 

Night

Boring old fossil
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
4,755
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5/8
[Cursing edited out, thanks so much Dr Typeless, so in lieu of actually strengthening the remaining now fairly wimpy paragraph, let's just assume an atmosphere of antagonism]

I hope your edit wasn't directed towards me, Kalach.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
Yeah, see, I've been thinking functions for a while, and that hasn't been producing any answers. It just leads to an ENTP or ENFP debate.

Were I taking responsibility I'd do something like say (perhaps less mockingly) gee, I made someone fall in love with me. And agree. And do something about it.


But, like... no.

If this "love" is so far out of proportion to what actual contact existed and has so little actual relation to who I am and blah blah blah, how come I'm supposed to buy into the story being told? Being responsible has to have at least some relation to what is true, both subjective and objective.
 

Night

Boring old fossil
Joined
Nov 2, 2007
Messages
4,755
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5/8
Hey buddy. I stalk. Can't help myself. Doing anything Saturday night?

You're cute. But, no - I have to hang out with the in-laws. Helping them put up a fence in their backyard. Gonna grill out Saturday night.

I'll save you a wiener.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
7w8
Yeah, see, I've been thinking functions for a while, and that hasn't been producing any answers. It just leads to an ENTP or ENFP debate.

Were I taking responsibility I'd do something like say (perhaps less mockingly) gee, I made someone fall in love with me. And agree. And do something about it.


But, like... no.

If this "love" is so far out of proportion to what actual contact existed and has so little actual relation to who I am and blah blah blah, how come I'm supposed to buy into the story being told? Being responsible has to have at least some relation to what is true, both subjective and objective.

I agree with you in theory. Only the two of you really know what happened, and even the truth is subjective to the both of you.

That's not what I'm saying though.

I'm asking you what you are accomplishing with this. Payback, revenge, what? If you really think someone is a nutcase, why antagonize him or her? What are you getting out of these posts?

Rationally, you know that this will all blow over. And the few people that stuck around to read this will forget in a few days - and they don't even care that much to begin with - so this is not about repairing your reputation. No, it's about something else.

So you now should weigh what you would like to happen to what is actually going to happen. What is the logical thing to do in this situation, if you really believe all what you said to be true?
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
I'm asking you what you are accomplishing with this. Payback, revenge, what? If you really think someone is a nutcase, why antagonize him or her? What are you getting out of these posts?

Freedom, potentially. The need to NOT have to deal with subtext in all future postings on any topic.

So you now should weigh what you would like to happen to what is actually going to happen. What is the logical thing to do in this situation, if you really believe all what you said to be true?

Indeed. The trouble is I am very unsure what is real. What, for example, is the truth of any interactions that have played out in other threads since this one? Do I need a defensive posture when posting? Will I be arguing the overt case of whichever topic, or dealing with some unresolved hidden forces?

And what to do? Say sorry? For what? Being the unassuming magnetic ball of attraction I so obviously am? People can't control themselves around me.

Taking responsibility for the feelings of others has a limit, and I would assume it is marked at the point where they no longer take responsibility for their own.
 
Top