User Tag List

First 111920212223 Last

Results 201 to 210 of 284

  1. #201
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    4,318

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    [tl;dr]
    Y'know, this whole thing gets started either by me being very damn charming or you being nuts. And the "I am ENFP, who's your Daddy!" shtick isn't really highlighting my rogue-like lady killin adorability, now, is it.

    It's like textbook transactional analysis: damn the person for not being the ideal.



    And for having another girlfriend. Call it a side issue.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  2. #202
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    446

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Heart&Brain View Post
    Yeah... I might give the verbal knife caught on the spot. I've shouted at a guy grasping at my breasts: "Hey, you're old and fat and stupid, I can see why no woman would ever let you touch her out of free will, how pathetic it is to see, nobody will ever want you, you know that, so look, the harbour is right here, go jump in! Jump, you're an ugly old fart, come on now, people so sad and unwanted have no reason to live, you know that, and no one will miss you, it's over, you'll never get sex ever again, now go jump in already you sad little man or don't you even dare do that, impotent sissy!"
    Then he started hitting me until my BF came rushing and diverted the violence. )
    I'm happy he didn't jump, we were standing at the edge of the harbour, next to his boat. But I never regretted a word. Boundaries, yeah, albeit a bit black&white in execution... I was 18 at the time.


    If I still have a small emotional opening, thus still *hope* that we can reach eachother I might care to show that I feel angry, offended or something. But if I've given up hope that the other party will understand or be able to respond constructively to such a show of feelings, I will not even bother to insult them with destroying observations. They have turned into an obstacle and I don't express feelings to obstacles. I remove them. So at some point I decide that communication doesn't further the goal I want to reach, and then even sharp, hurting comments is deemed a waste of energy and not worth the effort.

    To me, Te in the service of hurt Fi can be a killer mode. Ice-queen is a good description, Amar. I'm going in to kills something, a connection and thereby a net of potentiality. That's sacrilege for an ENFP, so something dies inside yourself too. Yes, Fi approves that it's necessary in order to keep something more important alive, but still. You die a little, it leaves you somewhat empty and exhausted. I'd mostly rather avoid it.

    But I think the killermode - accepting to kill a network of potential in order to finish some imperfect actuality - could be put to good use at completing tasks at work. If only I could get it activiated without the emotional hurt and anger triggering it ...
    Your response to the dirty old man was priceless!!! He was a perv and deserved a public tongue lashing! I guess I know I'm an ENTJ because the first guy to do that to me I just slammed into the lockers. Unfortunately we were at a brand new school and the lockers hadn't been bolted to the floor (slight oversight on the part of the construction company) so the domino effect was rather impressive. Maybe that's why I didn't get a date for the rest of high school! LOL!

    "So at some point I decide that communication doesn't further the goal I want to reach, and then even sharp, hurting comments is deemed a waste of energy and not worth the effort.

    You die a little, it leaves you somewhat empty and exhausted. I'd mostly rather avoid it."


    I can kind of relate to both of these statements.

  3. #203
    Allergic to Mornings ergophobe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFP
    Posts
    1,210

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    yeah...i don't know i think i recall usually just stating things in a very detached matter of fact way...laying out the facts...only when really pressed would any emotional bits come out...and it comes out a bit stingy...like in a standing up for myself way by saying...listen...this is what i did and why...this is what you did...and this is now what i expect...or this is now what needs to happen kind of way...

    if that makes sense.
    Closest to my experience. It's a detached laying out of my view. Ironically, it's strong emotion that leads there -- frustration, anger, disappointment... Once there though, I put Fi on hold while it seems like Te goes on a rampage. All emotion is removed and a crystal clear laying out of the events, the logic and sequence of events that transpired and what I expect in terms of a solution (I wouldn't bother if I didn't think there was something to gain even if it was only a 'lesson' for the party at the receiving end.)

    During the Te bitchslap, I won't shy away from calling a spade a spade, will not soften my stance, will continue until the person gives up. I've got to be really frustrated with the situation for this to happen and it's far less likely with people I know in real life. It's mostly reserved for customer service reps who are rude, condescending, purposefully unhelpful, feign ignorance... and anyone else who demonstrates this behavior or another form of cruelty towards someone who did not deserve it and/or is not in a position to respond in kind/defend themselves.

    HP - in a personal interaction where I feel wronged or disrespected, I'm more likely to remove myself from the situation than bring in the Te bitchslap. The only thing I have to offer is my time/attention and if I feel like the person wasn't worthy, I just won't offer it in the future. If the person persists, a short message saying 'thanks but no thanks' follows. I don't shy away from stating things as they are because honesty is best but cruelty is unnecessary and a waste of good energy at my end. This may be the Fe shadow you mentioned but I don't like to keep grudges either (more waste of energy on my part). So, I'd much rather just let it go, not bother with the person in the future while hoping they're leading a good life in an alternate universe.

  4. #204
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2,808

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    yeah...i don't know i think i recall usually just stating things in a very detached matter of fact way...laying out the facts...only when really pressed would any emotional bits come out...and it comes out a bit stingy...like in a standing up for myself way by saying...listen...this is what i did and why...this is what you did...and this is now what i expect...or this is now what needs to happen kind of way...

    if that makes sense.
    Yes, it makes sense. There are definitely parts of it that I can relate to, but when I think about it, it also reminds me of the way a number of people of different types attempt to level the psychological playing field. I guess I'm still trying to determine how and where this all becomes Te/Fi specific. I imagine that women would be most likely to go this route. It'd be interesting to hear a male ENFPs view.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  5. #205
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTx
    Posts
    224

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Heart&Brain View Post
    "Hey, you're old and fat and stupid, I can see why no woman would ever let you touch her out of free will, how pathetic it is to see, nobody will ever want you, you know that
    Yeah, I say this to myself, quite literally. Well, change girl to guy or keep it, whatever. But anyway, getting back to the point here -
    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I know what you mean ... I can Fi spew all over the place at first, crying, maybe yelling, but if someone REALLY hurts me, really does something horrible to me I become cold... and almost evil in rare cases where its a personal situation and someone has really violated me. It's like I'm more calculating and distant, and I can verbally abuse people at that point with nasty, creative insults.
    this always makes me wonder, why does it get to this point? This is me to a t, and actually it's me most of the time lately, and why? well, maybe because of the very real violation of a special kind of trust. So again, i really do wonder why it is that those people who you gave almost everything to, like trust and feelings of love, those people who you would do pretty much anything for, end up violating all if this! so, yeah, bitchslap it is and will most likely continue to be untilsomeone here can come up with an explanation not worthy of a another bitchslap.

  6. #206
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EnFpFer View Post
    Yes, it makes sense. There are definitely parts of it that I can relate to, but when I think about it, it also reminds me of the way a number of people of different types attempt to level the psychological playing field. I guess I'm still trying to determine how and where this all becomes Te/Fi specific. I imagine that women would be most likely to go this route. It'd be interesting to hear a male ENFPs view.
    Can you elaborate on your early ref to an ENTP bitchslap? What does that look like and what prompted it? Also the bolded-very correct I think. And I still very confused about the Fe-bitchslap mentioned earlier. I havent seen that before in EXTPs or my limited IXFJs, so I need to learn a lot more.

    Quote Originally Posted by ergophobe View Post
    Closest to my experience. It's a detached laying out of my view. Ironically, it's strong emotion that leads there -- frustration, anger, disappointment... Once there though, I put Fi on hold while it seems like Te goes on a rampage. All emotion is removed and a crystal clear laying out of the events, the logic and sequence of events that transpired and what I expect in terms of a solution (I wouldn't bother if I didn't think there was something to gain even if it was only a 'lesson' for the party at the receiving end.)

    During the Te bitchslap, I won't shy away from calling a spade a spade, will not soften my stance, will continue until the person gives up. I've got to be really frustrated with the situation for this to happen and it's far less likely with people I know in real life. It's mostly reserved for customer service reps who are rude, condescending, purposefully unhelpful, feign ignorance... and anyone else who demonstrates this behavior or another form of cruelty towards someone who did not deserve it and/or is not in a position to respond in kind/defend themselves.

    HP - in a personal interaction where I feel wronged or disrespected, I'm more likely to remove myself from the situation than bring in the Te bitchslap. The only thing I have to offer is my time/attention and if I feel like the person wasn't worthy, I just won't offer it in the future. If the person persists, a short message saying 'thanks but no thanks' follows. I don't shy away from stating things as they are because honesty is best but cruelty is unnecessary and a waste of good energy at my end. This may be the Fe shadow you mentioned but I don't like to keep grudges either (more waste of energy on my part). So, I'd much rather just let it go, not bother with the person in the future while hoping they're leading a good life in an alternate universe.
    Yup this all sounds correct-and yes I function like wrt to personal situations as well typically.
    1) some emo pain
    2) shock and withdraw-this actually is numb-no pain, no feeling, no need to interact. This is an Fe shadow function used like the INFJs dorrslam someone. A day here.
    3) several days spent cycling through Fi pain/Te rationalization of the event and an understanding of where the event was Ne-ed into.
    4) Forgiveness or acknowldgement of my error, typically accompanied by distance. Mostly the person never knows there was an issue. Thi scan turn into a doorslam.

    Fe users are more like this-nonconfrontational. they have many layers of withdraw-where an ENFP goes dark-no contact.

    Do you ever emo spew-the outpouring of Fi that amar and marm both mention? Did you do this when young? on another thread Q cited it in an esfp and I was rather condemnatory-typically I have very little sympathy for emo displays and scorn this behavior in the workplace.

    However there are some very interesting connections percolating in my mind wrt to enviornmental stress, Te/Fi development, empathy and how it back correlates with sustainability of a social group under situations of limited resources.

    Quote Originally Posted by bcvcdc View Post
    this always makes me wonder, why does it get to this point? This is me to a t, and actually it's me most of the time lately, and why? well, maybe because of the very real violation of a special kind of trust. So again, i really do wonder why it is that those people who you gave almost everything to, like trust and feelings of love, those people who you would do pretty much anything for, end up violating all if this! so, yeah, bitchslap it is and will most likely continue to be untilsomeone here can come up with an explanation not worthy of a another bitchslap.
    have you tried directly explaining line by line what they did to offend you and how they could remedy the situation?

  7. #207
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INTx
    Posts
    224

    Default

    ^ i can't do that here, or i would probably be banned. besides, they know who they are and exactly what they did, believe me, they read these posts.

  8. #208
    Senior Member Heart&Brain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Posts
    218

    Default

    Puppy, maybe it's old news already, but you shouldn't worry about having hurt "the other girl" mentioned in your OP. You couldn't possibly have known her role in this and she'll be well aware that you never meant to do her any harm. I'm sure she'll be quite okay.

    Peace & best wishes.

  9. #209
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    3h50
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    4,460

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Can you elaborate on your early ref to an ENTP bitchslap? What does that look like and what prompted it? Also the bolded-very correct I think. And I still very confused about the Fe-bitchslap mentioned earlier. I havent seen that before in EXTPs or my limited IXFJs, so I need to learn a lot more.
    There's no "bitchslap". We just end you at that point.

  10. #210
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    2,808

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Can you elaborate on your early ref to an ENTP bitchslap? What does that look like and what prompted it? Also the bolded-very correct I think. And I still very confused about the Fe-bitchslap mentioned earlier. I havent seen that before in EXTPs or my limited IXFJs, so I need to learn a lot more.
    ENTP guy and I were in our very early 20's and had one of those weird "not just friends" non-relationships. He'd told a co-worker of ours, a friend of his, some stuff that I didn't approve of because they were things that I didn't say. So I confronted him about it to set the record straight and he roared at me in turn. I tried to calm him down because he seemed enraged enough to hit me, and I guess both of us knew that the whole thing had come to a head. I planned to never speak to him again, but he initiated contact after he started dating his current wife(ISFJ), so I decided to be somewhat polite to him before I quit my job and went elsewhere. He contacted me again last year, married to the ISFJ and with three kids. Somehow the whole thing came up again, to which he tells me that he was in love with me and apparently my confrontation was read as a rejection, which was unexpected, and resulted in the madness.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] The ENFP Male
    By Angry Ayrab in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 07-10-2013, 07:29 PM
  2. [ENFP] What happens to ENFPs when they don't get the alone time they need?
    By cn1234567890 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 07-15-2008, 08:20 PM
  3. [ENFP] The ENFP "investigative journalist mode"
    By autumn in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04-05-2008, 01:00 PM
  4. [ENFP] The ENFP Paradox
    By autumn in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 83
    Last Post: 01-15-2008, 04:14 AM
  5. [ENFP] ENFP's, carrying the banner
    By gretch in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 12-11-2007, 05:49 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO