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  1. #151
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    AFter enough repetition in the same situation, you *can* use your previous experiences as a databank to access when you need to strategize..kinda like a roleplay. However, it is never as good as the genuinly triggered deal. The best enfp 'strategy' is the combo of both, where you get triggered and you suddenly recognize the situation as something you'v edone before, and use that info to enhance your reaction to increase impact, based on previous data.

    In any event, it is better to 'trigger yourself', even in the first situation, than actually fake the entire situation coz that just goes horribly wrong. We're made to 'wing it' or it just wont' feel right, authentic or be succesful. It won't sync up.
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  2. #152
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    You think about data? I don't think about data.

  3. #153
    Senior Member BlueFlame's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Not "Acceptable" or Not "nice".
    Acceptable would be Fe
    Nice/kind would be Fi
    Actually, I think there's more to it than that. My son is an ENFJ and he reacts much stronger to the feelings of others than things simply not being *acceptable.* The N in him will always question vague rules. He won't willingly hurt a soul, be it physically, or mentally. When he did hit as a baby, he simply didn't know he was causing pain.

    My daughter (probably ESTJ) on the other hand...gah. There's just no getting through to her.

    ~*79% Extraverted*~
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  4. #154
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lux Aeterna View Post
    You think about data? I don't think about data.
    Grin..I do..about certain things that Ive figured out and systematized. I see how cause and effect takes place and replicate the situation as to get the same effect
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  5. #155
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Nope, no data. I'm data-less. Fully lacking in data. Data-deficient. In short, I don't have Jack crap for data.

  6. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lux Aeterna View Post
    Nope, no data. I'm data-less. Fully lacking in data. Data-deficient. In short, I don't have Jack crap for data.
    You could be like me, full of it, but cant force it no matter how hard. You just gotta wait for it to come out naturally
    Im out, its been fun

  7. #157
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Happy Puppy
    Always. For me-maybe because my Fi is not mature-pain felt by someone else is always far, far worse than my own pain. If you put me in a situation where my inadvertant actions have hurt another person, I am overwhelmed with their pain, waves of guilt and remorse.

    I can distance myself from my pain and rationalize it and effectively wall it off. I cant do that for reflected mirrored pain if when I have no control over the situation. I cant resolve the pain of the other-thus get trapped in a very unhappy place.


    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I dunno, that sounds more like Fe hurting than Fi hurting to me...
    I am the most Fe blind person you will meet. That is why I will pretty much say whatever i think-recognizing it may be odd or nonconventional. I care very little for the approval of others-I do want their respect of my competency-Te and I seek emotional connectivity with a limited number of people-Fi.

    The internal distancing above is a tool learned when young-not healthy but handy. Most Fe users-with some of the INFJs being the exception-dont seem to recognize the mirror effect in themselves-rather it seems to be a sympathy more than pure empathy. "I am saddened by your pain" not "I feel your pain".

    This "I feel your pain" thing enfps do? It's why the entps go crazy on us. We sense them getting tweaky-anxious, then try and tell them what they seem to be feeling-except we are not properly calibrated for Ti/Fe and they may not themselves be aware, given they may need to logically process before noticing the emotion.

    Another part of the problem is that by not using Fi, I have not learned to properly calibrate it against how much pain the other person may actually be in. So it just turns the "pain" volume to the max setting. I also pick up anxiety in others and it stresses me.

  8. #158
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    You could be like me, full of it, but cant force it no matter how hard. You just gotta wait for it to come out naturally
    I'm sure a lot of people think I'm full of it, but they wouldn't be talking about data.

  9. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lux Aeterna View Post
    I'm sure a lot of people think I'm full of it, but they wouldn't be talking about data.
    My Fe sympathizes your pain, I hate it when it gets all clogged up.
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #160
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueFlame View Post
    Actually, I think there's more to it than that. My son is an ENFJ and he reacts much stronger to the feelings of others than things simply not being *acceptable.* The N in him will always question vague rules. He won't willingly hurt a soul, be it physically, or mentally. When he did hit as a baby, he simply didn't know he was causing pain.

    My daughter (probably ESTJ) on the other hand...gah. There's just no getting through to her.
    Oh- I meant W's approach to the problem. His appraisal-is it based on acceptability of the behavior? I dont really have a firm grasp on Fe, especially in Fe doms, so I can kinda guess at it.

    wrt to your ESTJ, another example: The toddler-very good at building rule sets in his mind.

    He didnt want to share his toy at the playground. I explained-"if you do not share, you play alone. If you share, you play with a friend. It is your choice." He stood there, looked at me, thought, then he shared. That wasnt about being nice-more about did he want to play alone. Some days he does play alone. His call.

    But it amazes me to hear the Fe parents at the playground as they say things I would not, so it's an interesting perspective.


    He didnt want to share his toys

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