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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueFlame View Post
    When you're telling someone off, it's usually for catharsis (ie, you have no expectations from the person and want nothing more from them) or to demand that the person get in line and meet your expectations.
    And THAT children, is why we like NFPs more than NFJs...

  2. #122
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I prefer not to strike at their heart. I prefer just telling them that I no longer can do this, and I need them to back off or I won't be held responsible for the consequences. I will do anything I can to keep myself from actually hurting someone, even in this state. If you keep pushing me (and now I'm talking, pushing my buttons in such a way that you drive me to full-blown hysteria), I will become mean and strike out of self-defense. And I will project every ounce of pain I have onto you, and make you feel it with me. I will attack your person and unload on you. I will paint you such a vivid picture of pain, you cannot help but experience it, and I promise you, you will feel pain, I will make sure of that. It is my intent at that point to force you to be me emotionally in that state, whether you like it or not. And there will be irreparable damage between us. I've done this with an ENTP before and it wasn't pretty. Nor am I proud that I made him cry. I loathe doing this.

    I hate myself for doing so afterwards, no matter how much you deserved it. So I rarely do it. The only ones that can drive me to that point are those that I loved with whole my heart and let in fully, so they know me well enough to strike me right where it hurts. Very few have that kinda clearance to my heart though.
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  3. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Assume society is evolutionarily designed so that all of the types ebb and flow to integrate us into a cohesive functional unit.

    But folks like myself are so rare that we cant fit neatly into those patterns. We flow in the wrong way. I suspect most "personality disorders" are this sort of thing.
    I would be very surprised if there were many ENFPs who didn't believe this about themselves.

    .. especially E4's.

    Dammit, contributing to the thread derail

    I don't want to turn this into another "wah Fi thinks it's special" thread. I really don't.

    So, nobody reply to my post. In fact, don't even read it.

  4. #124
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    well, shit. suddenly i feel like my opinion didn't matter at all.

    to hell with the both of you!
    But I liked that part where you made fun of him!

    Anyways here have another hug

    Quote Originally Posted by Mister Eyebrows View Post
    I would be very surprised if there were many ENFPs who didn't believe this about themselves.

    .. especially E4's.

    Dammit, contributing to the thread derail

    I don't want to turn this into another "wah Fi thinks it's special" thread. I really don't.

    So, nobody reply to my post. In fact, don't even read it.
    but it you are so special!!! I dunno, K-o-D said I am type 2, but 4 seemed familiar. Hey but I actually had an INTj tell me how weird I am-objective evidence of weirdness. However I wear it as a sign of pride.

    The advantage-I see things other people miss. No, not dead people. People patterns I think. I dissect them, lay them all out, then construct solutions to help them. There is value in this I think.

  5. #125
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    haha...expectations and not wanting anything in return...that's funny mr. eyebrows.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #126
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    I prefer not to strike at their heart. I prefer just telling them that I no longer can do this, and I need them to back off or I won't be held responsible for the consequences. I will do anything I can to keep myself from actually hurting someone, even in this state. If you keep pushing me (and now I'm talking, pushing my buttons in such a way that you drive me to full-blown hysteria), I will become mean and strike out of self-defense. And I will project every ounce of pain I have onto you, and make you feel it with me. I will attack your person and unload on you. I will paint you such a vivid picture of pain, you cannot help but experience it, and I promise you, you will feel pain, I will make sure of that. It is my intent at that point to force you to be me emotionally in that state, whether you like it or not. And there will be irreparable damage between us. I've done this with an ENTP before and it wasn't pretty. Nor am I proud that I made him cry. I loathe doing this.

    I hate myself for doing so afterwards, no matter how much you deserved it. So I rarely do it. The only ones that can drive me to that point are those that I loved with whole my heart and let in fully, so they know me well enough to strike me right where it hurts. Very few have that kinda clearance to my heart though.
    Holy shit Amar-this was exactly what I was talking about earlier-not the bitchslap of rage-Instead the Fi attack. I did this once here. I was horrified by what I wrote -then put a lot of though into why I write it and sort of realized what it was.

    It is a very direct attack meant to inflict my Fi pain back on the other person. It is meant to force them to mirror my Fi pain.

    But it was all reactive, innate and programmed in nature-no preplanning or thought involved, just an instinctual defense mechanism. But yeah I felt horrible afterwords.

  7. #127
    Senior Member BlueFlame's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    And THAT children, is why we like NFPs more than NFJs...
    Really? I wasn't aware that there were people out there who are free of expectations from other people.
    There are those that will use different techniques to get their needs met from a certain target, and there are those who will just move and find a more willing and able person.
    And there are those who will do both.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith
    prefer not to strike at their heart. I prefer just telling them that I no longer can do this, and I need them to back off or I won't be held responsible for the consequences. I will do anything I can to keep myself from actually hurting someone, even in this state. If you keep pushing me (and now I'm talking, pushing my buttons in such a way that you drive me to full-blown hysteria), I will become mean and strike out of self-defense. And I will project every ounce of pain I have onto you, and make you feel it with me. I will attack your person and unload on you. I will paint you such a vivid picture of pain, you cannot help but experience it, and I promise you, you will feel pain, I will make sure of that. It is my intent at that point to force you to be me emotionally in that state, whether you like it or not. And there will be irreparable damage between us. I've done this with an ENTP before and it wasn't pretty. Nor am I proud that I made him cry. I loathe doing this.

    I hate myself for doing so afterwards, no matter how much you deserved it. So I rarely do it. The only ones that can drive me to that point are those that I loved with whole my heart and let in fully, so they know me well enough to strike me right where it hurts. Very few have that kinda clearance to my heart though.
    I think that's pretty typical NF fare, and why we're perceived as *soft* or unable to defend ourselves. We don't want to cause pain, we don't want to do irreparable damage, and we don't want to lose people we care about. And we don't want the guilt associated with it.
    Actually, I think that's pretty much healthy human nature.

    I think I've put my full-force of lashing out onto...two??...people. They were both very close to me, and they both hurt me deeply, and there was no way to every go back, which was probably my underlying intention.

    [quoteIt is one thing to blow up at someone instantly, all unfocused and lash out in a random way..kinda like bitchslapping someone repeatedly. Sure they'll go 'wtf' but it won't *really* hurt. And yes, it can look...cute, I guess, to observers.[/quote]

    This is what I meant. When someone gets all wildly F-y at me (and I'm an F, so I obviously get F-y at other people), it either confuses me, makes me roll my eyes, or makes me angry. There is no pain there.
    I guess the whole, "You're the worst person ever, I never want to see you again, leave me alone" technique really bothers me when the real translation is, "I love you, please listen to me and understand what I'm saying and work things out. "

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  8. #128
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    fi fe difference perhaps...it's more about standing up for ourselves and tellin you to eff off i think by listing all the reasons we expect you to...haha or something.
    EXACTLY.

    Fi pain is displayed
    Fi mirror is felt by the other
    Te demands are made to resolve the initial pain
    Te resolution


  9. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    Holy shit Amar-this was exactly what I was talking about earlier-not the bitchslap of rage-Instead the Fi attack. I did this once here. I was horrified by what I wrote -then put a lot of though into why I write it and sort of realized what it was.

    It is a very direct attack meant to inflict my Fi pain back on the other person. It is meant to force them to mirror my Fi pain.

    But it was all reactive, innate and programmed in nature-no preplanning or thought involved, just an instinctual defense mechanism. But yeah I felt horrible afterwords.
    So you dont feel horrible for the thought, but the pain caused to the other person.
    Im out, its been fun

  10. #130
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    So you dont feel horrible for the thought, but the pain caused to the other person.
    Always. For me-maybe because my Fi is not mature-pain felt by someone else is always far, far worse than my own pain. If you put me in a situation where my inadvertant actions have hurt another person, I am overwhelmed with their pain, waves of guilt and remorse.

    I can distance myself from my pain and rationalize it and effectively wall it off. I cant do that for reflected mirrored pain if when I have no control over the situation. I cant resolve the pain of the other-thus get trapped in a very unhappy place.

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