User Tag List

First 345

Results 41 to 49 of 49

  1. #41
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    2w4
    Posts
    18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EricHanson View Post
    Then whatever piece of advice I can give is this:

    Once he gets over other girl (make sure he knows he has no chance), stay away from him - make him miss you - then pounce. No kidding.
    I have never mentioned liking someone else so its all good there.

    I dont think Ive made it clear enough to him that she is not into him. Although, this is were it gets tricky because he doesnt know what I know he likes her. He told me he didnt, but he told our mutual friend he did like her. The email quote is below he sent it to me after we talked.

    Mutual Friend Hey, so you know how you guess who Dan (name of guy I like) liked? You were right. Heres our convo below.

    Dan Hey, she knows I like Ellen. She just guessed it. How does she know?

    Mutual Friend Thatís weird. I donít know how she knows.

    Dan You didnít tell her, did you?

    Mutual Friend No, of course not. What did you tell her? Did you tell her youíre interested in Ellen?

    Dan No, theyíre really close. I donít think she would say anything to her, but you never know.


    This is the issue. How can I tell him without damaging the friendship between myself and the mutual friend as well as Dan and the mutual friend? Because if I just tell Dan that he told me thats really unfair.

  2. #42
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trapeze Swinger View Post
    I
    This is the issue. How can I tell him without damaging the friendship between myself and the mutual friend as well as Dan and the mutual friend? Because if I just tell Dan that he told me thats really unfair.
    Easy. Just say you can tell he likes her. That way you run on your own "intuition".
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #43
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    2w4
    Posts
    18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Easy. Just say you can tell he likes her. That way you run on your own "intuition".
    I donít know if he would buy that. His response would be "did so and so tell you?" Then he would go to our friend and ask if he said anything.
    Aside, from that I donít think I can talk to him. I havenít since Friday. And its difficult when so much of this just seems really idealistic. That he could like me in the future, or that he maybe he might realize that he likes me, or maybe he does, but hasnít said anything. I mean, I am an idealist, but I also need to know when to stop because dragging myself through any more emotionally would be horrible if there is no light at the end of this tunnel. I know were friends and were close. The archetype for INFJs is counselor and I must say I like that role, but the problem is so often you feel as though youíre more invested than the other person. This has given me considerable doubt about our friendship and his investment in it. I mean, the betrayal, which is understandable, but still is a betrayal, and the chance heís used me. Also, I donít want to be a rebound. There is just so much.

  4. #44
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trapeze Swinger View Post
    I donít know if he would buy that. His response would be "did so and so tell you?" Then he would go to our friend and ask if he said anything.
    Aside, from that I donít think I can talk to him. I havenít since Friday. And its difficult when so much of this just seems really idealistic. That he could like me in the future, or that he maybe he might realize that he likes me, or maybe he does, but hasnít said anything. I mean, I am an idealist, but I also need to know when to stop because dragging myself through any more emotionally would be horrible if there is no light at the end of this tunnel. I know were friends and were close. The archetype for INFJs is counselor and I must say I like that role, but the problem is so often you feel as though youíre more invested than the other person. This has given me considerable doubt about our friendship and his investment in it. I mean, the betrayal, which is understandable, but still is a betrayal, and the chance heís used me. Also, I donít want to be a rebound. There is just so much.
    Yeah, just let it go. Whatever will be, will be. Good luck!
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #45
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    3h50
    Socionics
    ILE
    Posts
    4,460

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Trapeze Swinger View Post
    What do you mean heís hedging his bets? I mean, I guess I understand I just need to hear why it is heís doing that.
    ENTPs as a rule don't know what others actually think of them. If he's young (it sounds like the both of you are), then he most likely doesn't know if you actually do care for him, or whether you're trying to get close, then take advantage of him. Throwing out the "other girl" is a pre-emptive defensive attack to keep you at arms length, so he isn't in his emotional zone of discomfort.

  6. #46
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Alright,

    First of all this needs to come from the horse's mouth. I'm an ENTP. And there is nothing worse than someone putting me under a microscope. I see the world full of possibilities, and hate cultivating weaknesses of others. I'm aware I have problems and I'm aware of everyone else's problems. I'm intereseted in things that generate possibilities. And I like girlfriends that are practical and creatively stimulating. Ex. I knew a girl that barely talked but her eyes spelled the word PASSION when she looked at me (like those puppies you see on tv, but with more of I want you aggressive look) She was very lustful and that was enough curiousity for me to keep her around. There was a another girl I dated that was very practical, for example she would laugh at me when I flirted with her (and found her even more funny that way) and when I was lost (such as taking 10 min to pick a movie) she would just buy the movie ticket and hand it to me before I could make a decision. Here's an idea to get him back!! Leave a rose at his doorstep and write on it "Let's flirt and get hot tonight". See my dear, the problem is that things got very very heavy emotionally, he doesn't want that. Entps are idealistic people, they want you to act like the little innocent asian cartoon girl that has a lot of attitude and looks cute, while you say "do this for me". Somewhere along these lines of interest lies a person who stimulates idealism. In the sense that you cannot bring back happiness with seriousness. There is nothing interesting about opening up... seriously. It's all good the first time but after that it's too depressing. In an ENTP's mind, there is security with a girlfriend and then there is romance with a girlfriend. Security is stable but it's depressing. Romance is entertaining but it's unreliable. You need both. And security is measure by how long you've been together, not how you act. For example you may act carefree but be with an ENTP for 5 years and that to him is enough proof. For an ENTP and if you do that he will follow you till the ends of the earth (because he is idealistic too). So he really likes you but he wishes for you to act more blissful and entertaining. Because things might be getting to the point where there are too emotional and emotions are redundant in his mind. These are the biggest key words to keep stimulation at bay for an entp: Entertaining, practical, time, blissful. Entertaining and blissful = flirt. Practical and time = security. I also dated a very confidant woman once who always had a serious look with everyone except when I would entertain her. So I sort of felt like it was my duty to keep her that way, instead of her being so serious all the time. And when I got tired and pulled away, she would tell me she needs some love instead of telling me "what's wrong". Seriousness will poor cold water over an ENTP's enthusiasm, where as blissfulness will recharge them. Keep it interesting, don't flirt with other people other than him, though, because that will be the end of it. And also keep in mind that this should be natural, are you two a match? Because I don't think you should have to change yourself. It's easier if you find your complementary person then you have to try less, it's more natural and lasts longer. Hope this helps, take care my dear and feel free to ask me any questions. I would really like to help but it's gonna take a certain amount of carefree-blissfulness in you.

  7. #47
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Posts
    2

    Default

    OUPS!!! Sorry. I just noticed the date of the post. Might be too late but I will leave it there for others.

  8. #48
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9
    Posts
    10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The_TYPE View Post
    Alright,

    First of all this needs to come from the horse's mouth. I'm an ENTP. And there is nothing worse than someone putting me under a microscope. I see the world full of possibilities, and hate cultivating weaknesses of others. I'm aware I have problems and I'm aware of everyone else's problems. I'm intereseted in things that generate possibilities. And I like girlfriends that are practical and creatively stimulating. Ex. I knew a girl that barely talked but her eyes spelled the word PASSION when she looked at me (like those puppies you see on tv, but with more of I want you aggressive look) She was very lustful and that was enough curiousity for me to keep her around. There was a another girl I dated that was very practical, for example she would laugh at me when I flirted with her (and found her even more funny that way) and when I was lost (such as taking 10 min to pick a movie) she would just buy the movie ticket and hand it to me before I could make a decision. Here's an idea to get him back!! Leave a rose at his doorstep and write on it "Let's flirt and get hot tonight". See my dear, the problem is that things got very very heavy emotionally, he doesn't want that. Entps are idealistic people, they want you to act like the little innocent asian cartoon girl that has a lot of attitude and looks cute, while you say "do this for me". Somewhere along these lines of interest lies a person who stimulates idealism. In the sense that you cannot bring back happiness with seriousness. There is nothing interesting about opening up... seriously. It's all good the first time but after that it's too depressing. In an ENTP's mind, there is security with a girlfriend and then there is romance with a girlfriend. Security is stable but it's depressing. Romance is entertaining but it's unreliable. You need both. And security is measure by how long you've been together, not how you act. For example you may act carefree but be with an ENTP for 5 years and that to him is enough proof. For an ENTP and if you do that he will follow you till the ends of the earth (because he is idealistic too). So he really likes you but he wishes for you to act more blissful and entertaining. Because things might be getting to the point where there are too emotional and emotions are redundant in his mind. These are the biggest key words to keep stimulation at bay for an entp: Entertaining, practical, time, blissful. Entertaining and blissful = flirt. Practical and time = security. I also dated a very confidant woman once who always had a serious look with everyone except when I would entertain her. So I sort of felt like it was my duty to keep her that way, instead of her being so serious all the time. And when I got tired and pulled away, she would tell me she needs some love instead of telling me "what's wrong". Seriousness will poor cold water over an ENTP's enthusiasm, where as blissfulness will recharge them. Keep it interesting, don't flirt with other people other than him, though, because that will be the end of it. And also keep in mind that this should be natural, are you two a match? Because I don't think you should have to change yourself. It's easier if you find your complementary person then you have to try less, it's more natural and lasts longer. Hope this helps, take care my dear and feel free to ask me any questions. I would really like to help but it's gonna take a certain amount of carefree-blissfulness in you.
    Wow - THANK YOU!! I have been researching into the ENTP personality type (as I had one jump in, jump out, jump in, jump out with me it seems) and I have had ENTPs tell me to "be up front" and so on with him, which has done little good because it always seems to cause him to "jump out" by me getting too serious and upfront. ENTPs will definitely be upfront, but only to an extent from my experience.

    What you said here about how ENTPs want romance over security I can see to be VERY true. Whenever I end up around him being my shy quiet INFJ-self with occasional random humor or act bothered by his presence, then he gravitates towards me like a magnet...in almost a fascination. But then when my emotions get the best of me, and I want to see where things are then he gets distant.
    Ah, such a lightbulb moment I have now had!! Thank you again... I am saving this for my own future reference.

  9. #49
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8

    Default

    He thought you would have made the next move, and is a little surprised by the lack. So he throws out that he is interested in someone else, conveniently not indicating it's romantic, to see of your true interest level. In other words, he's enthusiastic about the two of you and wants the relationship to move along nicely and feels really frustrated that it isn't...all the while he doesn't see your signals.

    Kick him in the ass with a smile! Or just spend some time with him...wait till lunch or dinner time and go get a sandwich or something with him just to show your interest..He'll appreciate that.

Similar Threads

  1. What am I? Help me decide between INFJ and ENTP
    By Entp/infjGal in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 131
    Last Post: 07-09-2016, 12:24 PM
  2. Video: INFJs and Relationships
    By highlander in forum Typology Videos and RSS Feeds
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-27-2015, 06:25 PM
  3. [INFJ] Why Do INFJs think ENTPs are SO Adorable? And Want to Eat Them?
    By Winds of Thor in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-20-2009, 11:51 PM
  4. [ENTP] ENTPs and relationship sabotage?
    By marmandahalf in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 220
    Last Post: 04-17-2009, 01:11 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO