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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramis View Post
    Do you usually default to discussing his ex-gfs when in conversational lulls?
    Not at all. The last time we discussed her was about two months ago and how happy he was to be over her, but that she was still awkward as she is very very shy.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trapeze Swinger View Post
    Things were much better today. I think being sad and aloof made him wonder what was going on. Thank you, Synarch.

    I approached him, realizing I probably shouldn’t, but I got the feeling he wanted to talk to me and wouldn’t do it unless I initiated it. So, I did. And it went very well. He apologized for seeming distant and said he missed talking to me. We discussed normal things like life, recent events, etc and then began to discuss relationships. I asked how things were going with whoever it was he was interested in. This was his response, "I haven't talked to her much lately, so she hasn't really been on my mind." He still wont tell me who it is he’s interested in which is understandable as we’ve just begun talking again after a weird period.
    My pleasure. I know myself that I respond well to mystery. I don't like people who are simple.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily Bart View Post
    OK, here's about 25 years' worth of experience dealing with an ENTP. You seem to really, really like him, so my heart went out to you. First of all, resist the tendency to read things into his reactions to you, because as much as you want to think you know what's going on, you probably don't (I'm just trying to encourage a little humility here, because I know INFJ's are good at reading people, but don't go there if it's somebody you're trying to start a relationship with). Next, give him some space -- Perceivers always like to feel they've got options and they're not cornered into something. Do everything you possibly can to resist the sort of internal intensity you're experiencing right now, because it will only get in the way. Relax, be light-hearted, use your INFJ sense of humor -- most people think it's weird, but ENTP's respond to it like nobody in the world. And most important of all, FLIRT, because ENTP's are big-time flirters themselves and they pretty much respond to it whether they're interested in you or not -- they sort of can't help it! As an INFJ, flirting may seem slightly dishonest to you, but if you think about it, you have your own unique sort of INFJ-flirtiness, that, again, most guys wouldn't be able to figure out, but an ENTP will find it very, very compelling. ENTP and INFJ are pretty much opposites, which creates attraction, but they're also both dominant intuitives, which is a bonus for you, because ENTP's, although fun-loving and sometimes seemingly superficial, really can't appreciate (and often have very little patience with) someone who's not intelligent. And frankly, I wouldn't encourage him to talk about his feelings right now, since there's an Ex, because, first of all, if he does, you'll probably get an earful that you don't really want to hear, and second, he needs to get away from his Ex emotionally -- so give him the opportunity to have fun, relax, and not have to think about her all the time. Good luck!
    Thank you for empathizing. I appreciate your insight and response very much. Liking an ENTP is certainly wonderful, but not always easy.

    I really needed to hear that I shouldn’t read into things. I feel like I’m very easily swayed by emotion (huh, imagine that!) And am likely to not assess things improperly and then not resolve anything at all and maybe further some of the issues at hand!

    Flirting has always seemed somewhat dishonest to me, Im so glad to hear others have felt that way! I do agree though that I need to flirt more. Its funny you mention the weird ENTP and INFJ humor connection. He does respond really well to my sense of humor whereas others don’t always. It creates this kind of intimacy, or closeness between us.

    About the Ex, it’s possible that he has leftover feelings, but he appears, and has appeared, to be over her. He assured me of this two months ago. He did mention that it was awkward because she was just very, very shy and they had dated, etc. However, I agree being a little less intense will help. It certainly cannot hurt!

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trapeze Swinger View Post
    Flirting has always seemed somewhat dishonest to me, Im so glad to hear others have felt that way! I do agree though that I need to flirt more. Its funny you mention the weird ENTP and INFJ humor connection. He does respond really well to my sense of humor whereas others don’t always. It creates this kind of intimacy, or closeness between us.
    Yes! There is a sort of cluelessness that the ENTP and INFJ share about romantic things, I think. I typically love INFJ impishness.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Yes! There is a sort of cluelessness that the ENTP and INFJ share about romantic things, I think. I typically love INFJ impishness.
    EXACTLY!

    I also must apologize for the typos. A friend called and was in crisis mode so I skimmed fast and then just sent the message!

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trapeze Swinger View Post
    EXACTLY!

    I also must apologize for the typos. A friend called and was in crisis mode so I skimmed fast and then just sent the message!
    No need. A friend told me once that I should never apologize for something that I had received no criticism for.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #27
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    You have a very wise friend.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trapeze Swinger View Post
    You have a very wise friend.
    Yea, he is. I used to have a nasty habit of apologizing for a lot of things. I think it was because I always felt somewhat ashamed. So, I went around self-consciously apologizing for my discomfort and awkwardness.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #29
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    He does not like me. We talked and he said something about the girl he does like and it completely and totally removes me as a possibility.

    This just inevitably occurs. I am seen as more of a friendly confidant than a romantic partner.

    I cannot even begin to deal with this right now.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trapeze Swinger View Post
    He does not like me. We talked and he said something about the girl he does like and it completely and totally removes me as a possibility.

    This just inevitably occurs. I am seen as more of a friendly confidant than a romantic partner.

    I cannot even begin to deal with this right now.
    I am sorry to hear that. Aww.

    Did he actually say he didn't like you that way or are you inferring? This is very important. I have found sometimes that a woman does not really know when I like them because they assume I am interested in someone else. You can't really read into what he says about someone else.

    You may be discounting the fact that ENTP's often like more than one person at a time and tend to try on different people before they settle for one. Also, love tends to creep up on us, I think.

    Gah, I am sorry for you right now. It must be difficult.

    Well. I would never ever want you to keep hope alive. But! When I was much younger there was this girl I was friends with and she was basically my sounding board. She stayed as my friend while I chased after girls who made me crazy and desperate. I would pinball from one infatuation to another. Gradually, we became closer and dated seriously.

    Anyway. Sorry. :/
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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