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Thread: Depression?

  1. #1
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    Default Depression?

    As statistics seem to show, depression always seems to be NF heavy compared to other MBTI types. Not only on paper and in studies, but in real life too. Out of all my friends, the NF's are always the most upset, distraught, just bummed. I myself am certain I have had depression for some time now.

    Do any of you have/had depression?
    Feel the blues more than most people?
    Please do share stories and advice.
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    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I was diagnosed with mild depression when i was sixteen. I would say that it's still apparent, but i try not to acknowledge it more than i have to and have decently managed it on my own.

    I've dealt with ten years of emotional abuse from about ten different people/situations. The things that have helped me were keeping a journal, doing activities that i enjoyed, keeping good company, and recognizing how to manage my own issues without spiraling out of control. That last one can be a bit complicated and need actual conversation to be elaborated on heh.

    Secondary advice- find yourself an ENFP/ENFJ to talk to or befriend. Others may suggest therapists, but if that's not your cup of tea (like it isn't mine) then that's my advice.
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  3. #3
    Phantonym
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.awesome View Post
    Do any of you have/had depression?
    I've never been officially diagnosed or been on medication but, looking back, I can now recognize signs of severe depression ever since my early teens. Over the years I have had better moments and the worst of the worst moments.

    It's really strange that I've always felt so "normal". Even now, I always have this huge feeling of guilt hanging over my head that there are people out there with "real problems" and all I have to do is get over myself.

    It's so easy to fool yourself and lie to yourself and get caught in the negative thought patterns that keep on feeding the negativity further and further.

    I think it is helpful to have somebody who is a professional, who is solely there to help you help yourself, who is impartial and who tells you how things really are, instead of trying to sugarcoat it.

    I agree with Unkindloving that if you feel comfortable with talking to a friend and you feel that it helps you, then take the opportunity to talk.

    For me, I think it is easier to talk to a professional because I don't have to worry about how the things I'm going to say affect them, how would they feel, should I word things differently and consider their feelings, worry that I should listen to their problems as well so that I wouldn't seem so selfish. With friends, there's always that aspect that does interfere and I can't fully concentrate on my own issues. And I find the confidentiality very appealing. With friends, you never know what they might let slip (unintentionally or intentionally).

    Once you can get over the initial hesitation of setting up an appointment and going to the meetings, things will get more comfortable.

    Feel the blues more than most people?
    I don't think that I do feel the blues more than most people out there. And I don't necessarily agree that NF's are more prone to depression than any other type out there. People are so different regardless of type.

    Although, when I'm at my lowest point it does feel like I'm the only one with "it" and there's no way anybody else has ever felt so bad. I know that's not true but is just feels so real.
    Last edited by Phantonym; 03-10-2010 at 04:47 PM. Reason: Just because I can.

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    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Do any of you have/had depression?
    Same as Sky is BLUE! I never have been officially diagnosed (since I never went to some professional). However, I would say I am right now, and maybe I was so in the past once already too. I already wrote in some other threads and maybe blabbering already nonsense about it because of it.

    I don't know what story I can tell about it. I think I am quite sure about what lead to my depressions, and it is a whole story which went through at least half my life, which I don't want to explain now fully. The easy way to say is that I am not happy with my social life at all, since I don't have any real friends anymore, and how it came to that situation. There is some big pain in me from that which I cannot let drop yet, and I don't find a way out to just let life go on. I don't feel able to change my situation on my own, yet I don't see anyone who can help me change my situation either. I am still waiting for the right moment to turn things around, yet I don't know whether this moment will realistically come without any own doing. Yet I don't know how that own doing could look like.

    Feel the blues more than most people?
    I am not sure that question can be answered so easily. I have also some theory that at least to some extent negative experience will be felt different in relation to your whole experience. That means people who usually live an objectively happy life (whatever that means is not relevant for discussion for now) will take objectively small sad moments maybe more intense than people who live an objectively sad life.

    You could compare that to children who grew up with all luxury and then get taken away their sweets. They will cry loud about it and get angry probably, because they are spoiled in some way. On the other hand they will not be overly happy when they get their sweet back, because it is somehow normal for them. Now the poor child which never got sweets will be very happy when he gets those same sweets, but not that unhappy when he doesn't.

    Don't take this comparison too serious, it is just some try to make it more easily understandable. I also think that it doesn't apply everytime - a very, very tragic moment may be the same harmful to both sides. Very sad persons on the other hand may be so hurt already that it becomes hard for them to feel any joy, and will maybe take a long way to recover from that, if at all.

    So, to come back to the question from my individual view. I think I feel the blues more as I have "more reason" to feel it than some other persons which lead a "luckier" life. However I think there are still more than enough persons which have it much harder than me, and I should be thankful for the good things I still have. At least that says my ratio. I cannot feel like that always, sadly.

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    NF's in general are a melancholy lot.
    Anybody is open to depression in the right circumstances.
    NF's find themselves in these circumstances more often because of their idealism and the importance they place on personal relationships.

    I myself have suffered from some pretty serious bouts of depression.
    The last time I was/am I actually tried to do something about it besides using illicit drugs.

    I took St Johns Wort and it actually helps.. It stops the lows from being so low.. The side effect? it also stops the highs from being so high.. SO I am just kinda here.. neither content nor discontent.

    Reading, talking with friends and therapy also help.. But the passage of time is the only sure cure. and in my case, No more idealism

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    Member Tycho's Avatar
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    I don't really want to get over my sollen moods.

    Melancholy may be a sane response to an insane world. I would be depressed if I tried to overcome it.

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    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tycho View Post
    I don't really want to get over my sollen moods.

    Melancholy may be a sane response to an insane world. I would be depressed if I tried to overcome it.
    I tend to think that melancholy is different than having a full blown depressive episode. Of course, one may well experience prolonged melancholy moods while they're depressed, and being too melancholy too frequently may lead to depression, but simply experiencing (and in your case, relishing) melancholy is not, in and of itself, tied to depression. In fact, don't many depressed people experience a sort of anhedonia or numbing, causing them to feel nothing much at all?

    I'm not NF, but I have been called melancholy before, and it's true that I do tend to dwell on the negative, shitty aspects of existence (and I can become a bit of a complainer.) But I've never felt depressed in the clinical sense. I think that's taking negative thoughts to a whole new emotional and psychological level.

    I have an NF friend that has a history of depression. I tend to think that part of the reason she is so prone to it is because the things that happen to and around her affect her on a much deeper level than most people. She's not just being dramatic or seeking attention; a bad meeting with a superior, for example, can really make her feel bad and send her into a spiral of negative thoughts (both about herself and the state of the world.) Experiencing this kind of thing on a regular basis eventually takes its toll.
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    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tycho View Post
    I don't really want to get over my sollen moods.

    Melancholy may be a sane response to an insane world. I would be depressed if I tried to overcome it.
    this.

    i agree, there isnt alot to be so dang happy about.
    my mother had a talk with me yesterday, stating how i have changed and basically my family wants nothing to do with me anymore. cool. anyway.. she said things like "you used to be so care free and silly, obnoxious and outgoing, hang out with friends and talk alot."
    i mean goodness.. if my happiness to others means im to sit in the middle of a bunch of people with a big phony smile on my face.. i think id be more depressed than i already am. its like people assume youre a fcuking psychopath and dont know how to deal with you, hence my family backing off and not wanting anything to do with me. its true, i dont talk as much, i dont hang out with friends as much, im less frivolous and silly. do i have to act that way for people to assume im normal? is it so much maturing and discovering yourself over 'youve changed cause youre depressed'. its like realizing how you are. not looking through rose coloured glasses. ive seen the world with my true eyes and theres a frickton of stuff to not be so happy about.
    I guess the thing here is just basically some people see the world with the glass half empty, and let themselves feel it. i mean really let themselves see how it is and know how it is. and then theres people who dont dare to look at a newspaper because it will ruin their day of being faux-happy.
    people like myself and Tycho can be happy. given a situation that we like to be put in we would be enjoying ourselves fully. thats, i think, a common misconception. we let ourselves feel. were not fake with our emotions.

    but then theres the question of what youre supposed to tell people who dont want to deal with you anymore? [ie my family]
    my etsy Morphochroma

    I know you think I'm crazy,
    but most people they can't tell.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.awesome View Post
    this.

    my mother had a talk with me yesterday, stating how i have changed and basically my family wants nothing to do with me anymore. cool. anyway.. she said things like "you used to be so care free and silly, obnoxious and outgoing, hang out with friends and talk alot."
    i mean goodness.. if my happiness to others means im to sit in the middle of a bunch of people with a big phony smile on my face.. i think id be more depressed than i already am. ]
    I'm so sorry. When will mothers realize that the best gift they can give their children is to give them the freedom to be themselves?

    I'm currently in the middle (or hopefully end) of a year long depression. I can't seem to snap out of it. I spent all day staring at the wall and thinking about the endless list of things I shoulda/coulda/woulda do today. I don't know . . . .*sigh*

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    As someone said above, probably this happens to NFs because of their idealism.

    I do not know about the idealism, it is fuzzy to me. But I have my standards, expectations and I fantasize a lot. When reality just hits me in the head with something much different and sometimes much worse, it's just hard.

    Usually it doesn't affect me that much, but lots of things piled up a few weeks ago and BOOM.

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