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Thread: Depression?

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.awesome View Post
    so it kinda like, fricks your live over?
    how did you guys get past it?
    like when you should feel happy, did you?
    i dont think ive ever felt as bad as i do now. the single event that could have changed my life for the better just happened a few days ago. i sure as fck know i should be happy right now but honest to god i cant focus on anything but negativity.
    I once read depression is the body's way of saying you are off track and to get with the program..
    Its a sign you need to change something.. So the best way to deal with it.. is to learn something from it. and a good place to start is to make sure you change whatever triggered it in the 1st place.
    As I mentioned.. it forces you to look deep inside and that requires full self disclosure and honesty.. and you might find stuff that depresses you even more.. because let's face it.. no one wants to look at their ugly self.. But it's the only way you can change and grow..
    The Chinese use the same word for crisis and opportunity, and they mean the same thing ..
    When your wounds are fresh the only thing you can do.. is ride it out.. But sooner or later you will notice it weaken.. make sure you take something of with you and keep there forever.. Do not forget how hurt you felt.. and grow from it.
    It is also good to help you learn compassion for others.. get past it but never forget it.. it will become your friend at some point. and it will become your teacher.

  2. #32
    Senior Member valentine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander29 View Post
    I think this is much more of an inherited tendency and related to a person's serotonin levels than having anything to do with type. It's a chemical/biological thing. (depression that is)
    I view it as a product of a persons natural disposition towards the world. I think the biological aspects of it have been blown out of proportion. Boils down to one's stance on Nature/Nurture I guess.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.awesome View Post
    As statistics seem to show, depression always seems to be NF heavy compared to other MBTI types. Not only on paper and in studies, but in real life too. Out of all my friends, the NF's are always the most upset, distraught, just bummed. I myself am certain I have had depression for some time now.
    While I cannot say that NF's are "depressed more," I think it's far more likely for INPs to get depressed over internal emptiness and angst issues without any specific, direct triggering external events. INPs are very aware of potential ramifications and often have developed strategies that detach them from very concrete and direct acts and choices that would empower them to change their external world.

    With more tangible types, the depression seems to come more form the direct result of some definable event or situation.
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  4. #34
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.awesome View Post
    this.

    i agree, there isnt alot to be so dang happy about.
    my mother had a talk with me yesterday, stating how i have changed and basically my family wants nothing to do with me anymore. cool. anyway.. she said things like "you used to be so care free and silly, obnoxious and outgoing, hang out with friends and talk alot."
    i mean goodness.. if my happiness to others means im to sit in the middle of a bunch of people with a big phony smile on my face.. i think id be more depressed than i already am. its like people assume youre a fcuking psychopath and dont know how to deal with you, hence my family backing off and not wanting anything to do with me. its true, i dont talk as much, i dont hang out with friends as much, im less frivolous and silly. do i have to act that way for people to assume im normal? is it so much maturing and discovering yourself over 'youve changed cause youre depressed'. its like realizing how you are. not looking through rose coloured glasses. ive seen the world with my true eyes and theres a frickton of stuff to not be so happy about.
    I guess the thing here is just basically some people see the world with the glass half empty, and let themselves feel it. i mean really let themselves see how it is and know how it is. and then theres people who dont dare to look at a newspaper because it will ruin their day of being faux-happy.
    people like myself and Tycho can be happy. given a situation that we like to be put in we would be enjoying ourselves fully. thats, i think, a common misconception. we let ourselves feel. were not fake with our emotions.

    but then theres the question of what youre supposed to tell people who dont want to deal with you anymore? [ie my family]
    As a mother, sometimes it's extremely difficult to watch your children go through really difficult things; especially something you have no control over, like a depressive episode. If it's been going on a while, and she has tried to 'help' you through it, or made suggestions that she has not seen you follow, she might feel so overwhelmed and out of control, that she falls back into the only way she can deal with it, which is sadly, and perhaps (probably) subconsciously to control the situation by exerting even more pressure on you to change your behavior. Maybe she simply cannot handle her world being topsy-turvy and needs some distance from the depression and the sadness that she sees in you; maybe your depression triggers something in her own pysche from her own life that is just too difficult for her to deal with up close.

    Did she actually say she didn't want anything to do with you? I know how I can be when I'm feeling rejected; I can read all kinds of things into what someone tells me, almost as a self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection, but when I actually re-read, or re-listen to them, I see I was just being overly sensitive because of my own fears.

    Quote Originally Posted by mr.awesome View Post
    so it kinda like, fricks your live over?
    how did you guys get past it?
    like when you should feel happy, did you?
    i dont think ive ever felt as bad as i do now. the single event that could have changed my life for the better just happened a few days ago. i sure as fck know i should be happy right now but honest to god i cant focus on anything but negativity.
    I'm kinda curious about what that single event was, if you care to share.

    edit: Also, I'm actually one of those people who can't--or chooses not to--regularly read the news. I have some ideas about the news; including the notion that we aren't necessarily supposed to be inundated with that much bad news everyday. Looking at the amount of depression in our country, who's to say I am wrong? Anyway, there must be a balance between how much we take in and how much we put forth, for us to be healthy. If we are always taking in, but never putting forth, or acting on being benevolent, no matter how small that gesture might be, we might find ourselves negatively imbalanced, and narcissistic. Likewise, if we are always putting forth, but never taking in, we deplete ourselves, which doesn't help anyone. We must learn this balance for ourselves as we are all different. And sometimes that just takes more time for some than others.
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  5. #35
    A passer by yvonne's Avatar
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    in hindsight, i think it was like a growing up process for me. i had to abandon the values and beliefs i had in childhood and form my own, more realistic, adult ones. i feel like i was just trying to be whatever other people wanted me to be, instead of being true to myself. i didn't really have to think about that before, because i wasn't really in charge of my life.

    it was scary, being all alone and looking in the mirror, not recognizing what you see. at first i tried to fight it, thinking there had to be something wrong with me, but eventually i found solace in music i could connect with. i realized that there are other people who feel like i do. so instead of trying to pretend that everything was alright, i let myself fall, as i accepted it was something i just had to go through.

    i don't think that there was another option for me at that point anyway, because my attempts to distract myself from my issues were hurting me. i was exhausted from lying to myself.

    i still feel like it was "meant to happen" and i feel like i really started my life's journey from then on... but it is very difficult to travel with your eyes open all the time. it requires a lot of patience and strength... you have to try to balance your reality and accept your loneliness.

    thank you and right back at you, sky is blue.

  6. #36
    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    As a mother, sometimes it's extremely difficult to watch your children go through really difficult things; especially something you have no control over, like a depressive episode. If it's been going on a while, and she has tried to 'help' you through it, or made suggestions that she has not seen you follow, she might feel so overwhelmed and out of control, that she falls back into the only way she can deal with it, which is sadly, and perhaps (probably) subconsciously to control the situation by exerting even more pressure on you to change your behavior. Maybe she simply cannot handle her world being topsy-turvy and needs some distance from the depression and the sadness that she sees in you; maybe your depression triggers something in her own pysche from her own life that is just too difficult for her to deal with up close.
    Did she actually say she didn't want anything to do with you? I know how I can be when I'm feeling rejected; I can read all kinds of things into what someone tells me, almost as a self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection, but when I actually re-read, or re-listen to them, I see I was just being overly sensitive because of my own fears.
    I dont know, my mother is a strange woman. as she is concerned when it comes to facts and figures [grades, jobs, going to college] but even then its like... she doesnt do anything if im failing a class, when i am she usually tries to accuse me of being gay, and that im oppressing my homosexuality or going through depression. basically the same thing through her eyes i guess. i guess the thing with my parents is that they were caught up with me, my emotions, and my life up until i was probably 12 years old. then it just kinda started to lag and its too impossible to deal with them about anything going on with me now. im sorry for being the typical angsty teenager. i do hate the sound of that stereotype that just resonates with everything i post haha.

    Without calling people out or pushing my frustrations out on others.. that was basically the theme of the talk. I was accused that if i were left alone in a room with some of my younger family members i would let them die. and how many members of the family wanted me to live with them about a year or so ago, after i finished school, and now theyre "just freaked out.". i mean my goodness, this is something a psychopath is expected to hear as a child. not really comforting for me to hear.

    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    I'm kinda curious about what that single event was, if you care to share.
    wellly to be honest, i just got into my first legitimate relationship. its nice, ive liked the girl for over a year and some months now. just met her on friday and it went very well. although we live a ways apart [about 2 hours, not bad] we both decided we really wanted to make it work. shes a really nice girl and when i was with her i didnt have a care in the world.
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  7. #37
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.awesome View Post
    I dont know, my mother is a strange woman. as she is concerned when it comes to facts and figures [grades, jobs, going to college] but even then its like... she doesnt do anything if im failing a class, when i am she usually tries to accuse me of being gay, and that im oppressing my homosexuality or going through depression. basically the same thing through her eyes i guess. i guess the thing with my parents is that they were caught up with me, my emotions, and my life up until i was probably 12 years old. then it just kinda started to lag and its too impossible to deal with them about anything going on with me now. im sorry for being the typical angsty teenager. i do hate the sound of that stereotype that just resonates with everything i post haha.

    Without calling people out or pushing my frustrations out on others.. that was basically the theme of the talk. I was accused that if i were left alone in a room with some of my younger family members i would let them die. and how many members of the family wanted me to live with them about a year or so ago, after i finished school, and now theyre "just freaked out.". i mean my goodness, this is something a psychopath is expected to hear as a child. not really comforting for me to hear.



    wellly to be honest, i just got into my first legitimate relationship. its nice, ive liked the girl for over a year and some months now. just met her on friday and it went very well. although we live a ways apart [about 2 hours, not bad] we both decided we really wanted to make it work. shes a really nice girl and when i was with her i didnt have a care in the world.
    I'm sorry for my delay in responding, Mr Awesome. Are you saying you feel like your parents stopped being interested in your life around the age of 12, and now they don't really know you, yet try to analyze you and get it wrong?

    Also, how is the gf working out? Is that a positive relationship for you?
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    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

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  8. #38
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    Been diagnosed since 12, was on meds at one point then stopped because I hated it.
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  9. #39
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    Both of my parents are/were depressed (all through my childhood). How could I avoid it? My parents are really good-hearted, kind, caring people but in ways they really aren't confident about who they are and don't try to fix themselves before trying to fix others. They remain unhappily overweight, alcoholic, gossip constantly, or put up with unhealthy relationships. They can have really defeatist/arrogant attitudes. They preach so much responsibilty on others but doesn't it start with taking responsibilty for your own actions? I get really irritated by the passive martyr.

    I didn't even realize my melancholy as depression until I understood any of that.

    I have always romanticised depression. In some way I could tell I was growing and progressing through learning, even if I had a propensity to focus on the negative parts of life.

    Depression doesn't really effect me now. I have my intense emotional moments that summate what I know of somber affections: when I just feel the weight of the world, or a nerve is hit. BUT it is exponentially different from the morbid, eternal shadow I lived in for 20 years.

    I consciously choose love. Expressed over depressed any day for me.

    On a final note as an ENFP I crave authenticity even if that means authentically moved=depressed. I will unfortunately take that any day of the week over someone that is superficially contented IME... probably because I want to empathize and help in some way.
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    Senior Member mr.awesome's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aphrodite-gone-awry View Post
    I'm sorry for my delay in responding, Mr Awesome. Are you saying you feel like your parents stopped being interested in your life around the age of 12, and now they don't really know you, yet try to analyze you and get it wrong?

    Also, how is the gf working out? Is that a positive relationship for you?
    dont worry about it! i thank you very much for even trying to halp! i appriciate it :]

    but yes, it just seemed like around the age of 12-14 the generation gap between myself and my parents just became too frustrating to try to bridge. and it just sorta seemed like both sides gave up trying. i think since this time i have changed so very much, not only from depression, but just from my interests and moods and personalities that its like... if theyre going to just now say 'youre really messed up cause youve become more introverted' [as all concerns that my mom said were socially based observations] its just annoying that they choose to call me out on this single trait ive gained. its hard to put into words. i dont even feel the same way i did a few weeks ago. i change alot.


    but yes its extremely positive! only downside is that she is 2 hours away. but ive had a different mindset since i met her. its a positive influence on my life for sure. ive only had one or two short depressive bouts in a week or so.
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