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  1. #1
    Junior Member Willywallywoo's Avatar
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    Default INFX's-Direct with girls?

    Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to make this kind of thread.. but heeere we go.

    I'm a girl in my late 20s, been in love many times.. but now I find myself in flames again after many years with a INFx. I am definatly sure he's a INFx- though for some reason he tested ISFP. Some words to describe him: Extremely intuitive and accurate, idealistic, passionate, has some dark sides.
    He rather seems outgoing, but I could tell he was an introvert still.

    He's been showing some seemingly ok-clear-enough signs of interest in me as well over the past 3 months (!! long time!), but due to few meetings (Busy -__-) and what not, it has not gotten anywhere yet. No dates, no nothing. Just implications of that we might like eachother (we're not youngsters either. Late twenties!)
    So I don't know, would an INFx guy go right out and ask you out? Or would they be more reserved?
    I'm trying to make sense why he can in one way be very flirtatious towards me, and take contact to chat and talk ALOT about things he's currently feel strongly about and tell me to read this and that , and talk about me to mutual friends. But no asking if we should just HANG OUT FFS! >_< lol
    An example of how he flirts is, he was going to lend me a book.. last time we meet, he said "I forgot the book.. but we both agree its good i forgot the book.. then we got an excuse to meet again " , and later on moved from his seat to jump in with my coach to lean towards me.

    I fell for the "shows a lot of interest" but doesn't ask you out trick before, and like many others have read "The rules" and seen "hes just not that into you", and don't want to go overboard reading too much into anything as long as he has not taken things a step further.

    So a little help to understand an either INFP or INFJ here.. would be of great help :P ( I suspect INFP might be his actual type.. but he just seems like a Ni user.. possibly an INFJ who adapted more INFP traits.. he has a certain INFjish feel to him)

  2. #2
    Senior Member ChildoftheProphets's Avatar
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    I see two options here.

    Either A) Flat out ask him what's up and verbally tell him how you feel

    Or B) Don't hold back the next time you guys are flirting; push the intimacy until you physically show him how you feel.
    "In the opening and shutting of heaven's gate, are you able to play the feminine part?" -- Lao Tzu

    "For when the One Great Scorer comes
    To write against your name,
    He marks - not that you won or lost -
    But how you played the Game."
    -- Grantland Rice

    Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays according to the rules. -- from The Catcher in the Rye

    "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do, and what a man can't do." -- Jack Sparrow

  3. #3
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Why don't you ask him? There's not really a set of "rules," it's purely individual how someone deals with emotions toward other people. He may like you, but may not have the guts to fess up to it. He may he waiting for a non awkward moment, etc. If you're curious and like him, just ask him; you take it a step further. Besides, if you like him, why let your happiness be in someone else's hands?
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  4. #4
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    INFP is very unlikely to ask you out even if interested. INFJ is marginally more likely to do so, but not by a lot.

    I'd go for it and make the first move yourself.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  5. #5
    Junior Member Willywallywoo's Avatar
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    I am actually planning on taking initiative really. I am just trying to make sure I am not putting a foot in my mouth :P
    I'm guessing I'm being a coward worried about the whole rejection scenario!

    The thing of it is, we talked some time ago (before we meet) over a dating site.. and he did ask me out then, but we never got to it due to circumstances.
    We meet randomly later IRL, and that's when my interest was established.

  6. #6
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willywallywoo View Post
    The thing of it is, we talked some time ago (before we meet) over a dating site.. and he did ask me out then, but we never got to it due to circumstances.
    We meet randomly later IRL, and that's when my interest was established.
    Wow that seems like fate!


    Anyway, if he's an INF, he probably will NEVER ask you out until he is VERY sure you like him (0% chance of rejection). My INFP and I were hanging out exclusively for at least six hours everyday for three months before he said he liked me. I guess you could try finding something for you both to do together without calling it an actual date (no pressure). Once he is comfortable enough and he is sure that you like him, he will make the move.

  7. #7
    Senior Member chris1207's Avatar
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    I did this with an EXXP forever ( suspect that she's an ESTP.) Then, after 3 months I found out she has a BF.... Oh well, I can't compete with that pink-hair, skater hunk of a man....NOT. That being said, guys, especially NF's, don't like to ask girls directly. The fact is that you girls MUST have a BF at all times (WTF's up w that?!) You women feel like you aren't ppl w/o a BF and I'm not a big fan of stealing a girl away (Let's be honest here, I'm the Windows 7 to her BF's Vista :P)

    Not only that, but you gotta figure he's been fucked around with by other girls. There are girls that'll flirt relentlessly and then when the subject of a relationship is approached, they go, "WTF are you talking about? I already have a BF! You should just back off!" You know what I like to do, though? I like to fuck with them! If they ask me why I haven't found a girl for myself, I like to tell them it's because I'm too busy being tired from some bitch fucking with my feelings. You'd have to be an idiot to be a woman and not be able to connect my dots. Women are taught their entire lives to have a very socially-conscious perspective.

    Basically, these are awkward times for both genders and seeing as it's been 5 days since you're last post, I'm gonna assume that the two of you are enjoying hot NF on NF action and congratulate you

    Grats
    "... you think deeply about stuff [that] nobody cares about and hardly anybody can understand you." ~ Peguy talking about Ni users. So true.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Willywallywoo View Post
    So I don't know, would an INFx guy go right out and ask you out?
    No.

  9. #9

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    I am an INFP and part of the way I express my feelings to people is through small, but very meaningful gifts. Such as a prized book, a song, a quote. They are all very personal and to show someone else feels like showing them a piece of who is inside. I am usually very careful for fear of my inner self being rejected. He probably feels the same way. If he does give you something like that take it as an expression of who he is. Once someone is established as trusted the small pieces of me keep flowing.

  10. #10
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Slap his butt and if he blushes and giggles, he likes you. Go for it!!
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

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