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  1. #1
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Default INFJ: Are you afraid to try new things in public?

    My sister was here to visit me this past week. While I had a great time with her, I was stumped (and a little frustrated) a few times because she has a very stubborn resistance to trying new things: Food, activities, etc. At least, when people are watching! I can't understand it and it drives me crazy, but after a few times of being turned down for things I suggested and having my sensitive INTJ feelings hurt, I realized that it wasn't personal... its just the way she is.

    She refuses to go to a restaurant with food that she doesn't know (foreign food) because she doesn't want to try it 'in public'. She said if we brought it home she would probably try it... ?

    When we were playing games on the Wii she watched for hours, refusing to participate. She only started playing when everyone assured her that they weren't very good at it either.

    When she DOES participate in something and happens to do well at it, she is dramatically boastful.

    It seems like basic insecurity to me... fear of being riduculed maybe? I was curious though if this was an INFJ thing or perhaps just her own peculiarity.

    I love her, and really wish that I understood her more. I really think she's more closed off than I am.
    Embrace the possibilities.

  2. #2
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    I don't think it's an INFJ thing.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #3
    brainheart
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    No offense to your sister or anything, but the food thing is... odd. I have images of a wolf dragging sushi back to his lair because he doesn't want any other wolves to see him eating it.

    I can see the wii thing, though. I kind of have to figure things out on my own and I am pretty competitive and a perfectionist to boot, not to mention an introvert. So if it's something like that, I would prefer to have some time alone with it to figure it out. But if I had to play with others I could drink a few beers, shrug, and get over it.

    But not like you probably care about my opinion, seeing how I'm not an INFJ and all.

  4. #4
    ish red no longer *sad* nightning's Avatar
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    +1 on synarch's comment.

    I love trying new food, new games etc when everybody knows I've never tried that before. I get a little skittish when I am expected to know how to do something when I don't.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    If the food in restaurants was free, I'd try new stuff all the time. I fear paying for something I turn out not liking and feeling like I either have to eat it or send it back, when it isn't their fault I don't like it. This is about the only thing buffets are good for.

    I didn't use chopsticks in public until I had the hang of using them, but I was okay with practicing in front of our Korean foreign exchange student and my family.

    I don't mind trying new games in front of my family. Don't know that I'd want to try them in front of a live studio audience. I'm usually only an obnoxious winner if I beat my brother.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #6
    Senior Member ubiquitous1's Avatar
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    I am not a fan of trying new things/places. However, my extroverted friends are good at getting me to try new things/places and one of my friends always gives me a back-up plan incase I ever become too uncomfortable, doing this increases the likelihood that I will try something new. I think I dont like trying new things/places because it forces me to use my Se, my least developed function. I cant identify with being boastful about stuff though, it actually makes me very uncomfortable to be better than other people.

  7. #7
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    If I had to go with a group of people I don't know well to a foreign food restaurant, I might feel a bit uncomfortable, but I'm perfect okay with going with my friends or family. It seems like she is a bit oversensitive to how 'the public' might perceive her. I can identify with not wanting to make a fool out of myself in public, especially when I was younger, but I think it gets better with age. How old is she?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Oh dear, this thread title just made me laugh! Don't ask.

  9. #9
    brainheart
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    Does it have to do with a lowercase 'l' potentially being absent from the title?

  10. #10
    Phantonym
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    I don't think that it's something intrinsically INFJ-like. Personally, I'm always up to trying new things, foods, activites and so on. As long as I feel that I am being in control.

    I can relate to your sister's hesitation. I agree that it might be fear of being ridiculed. And possibly the fear of unknown, the need to be in control. She probably wouldn't have any problems if she could try these things on her own terms and deal with her reactions on her own so beforehand so that she could know for certain how to react in public without the fear of being ridiculed.

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