User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 15 of 15

  1. #11
    Senior Member pyramid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    102

    Default

    I like this thread!! Everyone's post is great!

    My sweetheart INFJ friend has social anxiety and if it were coming from her I'd see this as someone who doesn't want to make a scene if they can't hide their disappointment of the hypothetical situation. Eg, you're... ordering anything that includes anything familiar on a menu you can't read, then being disgusted by the sight of this food, not caring for the taste, and perhaps it was expensive. INFJ does not see it fair either way to send it back or have it in front of them and may feel trapped in an uncomfortable social situation. Effectively this sucks and might cause undesired emotional reaction from INFJ. In the case of my friend, one of the things she is passionate about is culture so being around explicitly foriegn stuff is her preference. Though, if you want her to come to X social event and the theme isn't something with which she's familiar, she could be very hesitant without further info and sentiments.

  2. #12
    Senior Member pyramid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    102

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    She refuses to go to a restaurant with food that she doesn't know (foreign food) because she doesn't want to try it 'in public'. She said if we brought it home she would probably try it... ?

    I love her, and really wish that I understood her more. I really think she's more closed off than I am.
    You two should together pick a new place to go to that neither have tried before (or if she prefers, one you have visited before) and then research it a bit together. If you are going out to eat pick a place that has an available menu and look at it beforehand (perhaps there are pictures of the environment of the restaurant as well). Anything on the menu that you don't know, look up in an online encyclopedia. Make it a goal to end up ordering the best thing on the menu. Maybe try ordering in the first time, if she likes the food she might want to go check out the restaurant!

    Would you describe her [re: food] as a picky eater or unadventurous and comfortable?

  3. #13
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,932

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I don't think it's an INFJ thing.
    Right; I don't think it has much to do with her being INFJ; it's just her own peculiarities, or psychologically, something outside of mbti.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  4. #14
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2 so/sx
    Posts
    11,134

    Default

    Pyramid explained my behaviour well. Usually more information if it's an unfamiliar situation and a little time to get used to an idea is all I need. I like to be fairly sure of my own reactions, as well as the likely reactions/expectations of the people around me, and then I am very comfortable navigating a new situation.

    I am not terribly open to trying new things until I have had a little while to get used to the idea. If I have it in my mind that we have certain plans, it's not that I am not open to change, but I like having a few minutes to get readjust.

    I HATE doing anything in front of people that I am not sure that I know how to do at least respectably well. (And yes, I identify about the Wii thing. Usually I come around with some coaxing from someone I trust not to make me feel dumb in front of a group of people I know less well). I am very easily embarrassed. What may just be a throwaway joke or comment from someone else can make me feel inwardly wretched and self-conscious for a long time. I don't like being upset at other people and even if they are not critical of me, my own inner critic is fairly strong. As a child, I even felt embarrassed in front of myself reading poetry TO MYSELF with expression in the mirror, in preparation for a competition.

    As far as trying new food, I often would if it is just with people I know well enough that I can try something and determine openly whether I like it or not. I usually don't order something new or go to many new restaurants though because I am not sure if I'll like it as well and then not only will I have spent the money on something I don't like, but I will be full too! I'm okay though as long as I have enough information, even if I've never been there.

    Often when faced with the choice between an evening out with people I don't know well, or doing something at home that I already enjoy, I'll pick the more familiar of the two options. However, in most cases, I am glad once I actually do go out with the people. I just need the extra push to do so. I think that is why I am often attracted to extroverted people who get me to try new things, without seeming insensitive or cohearsive.

    Having said all that, I actually am a reasonably adventurous eater, I have travelled many places and enjoy activities that allow me to interact with strangers or learn new things. You likely just need to be gently pushy and a little patient while the person warms up to a new idea and your INFJ will come around.

  5. #15
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    JINX
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,757

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Misty_Mountain_Rose View Post
    My sister was here to visit me this past week. While I had a great time with her, I was stumped (and a little frustrated) a few times because she has a very stubborn resistance to trying new things: Food, activities, etc. At least, when people are watching! I can't understand it and it drives me crazy, but after a few times of being turned down for things I suggested and having my sensitive INTJ feelings hurt, I realized that it wasn't personal... its just the way she is.

    She refuses to go to a restaurant with food that she doesn't know (foreign food) because she doesn't want to try it 'in public'. She said if we brought it home she would probably try it... ?

    When we were playing games on the Wii she watched for hours, refusing to participate. She only started playing when everyone assured her that they weren't very good at it either.

    When she DOES participate in something and happens to do well at it, she is dramatically boastful.

    It seems like basic insecurity to me... fear of being riduculed maybe? I was curious though if this was an INFJ thing or perhaps just her own peculiarity.

    I love her, and really wish that I understood her more. I really think she's more closed off than I am.
    Yeah.. this sounds less to do with specific type and more to do with some sort of sensitivity to rejection/need for acceptance stemming from some sort of inferiority complex. I don't know your sister, obviously, but based on the illustration you've offered, this seems like a very familiar behavior pattern. Like she's at a disadvantage to others by default, so she has to work harder just to feel like an equal human. Fears and needs for compensation. That's a stressful way to live, and sadly limiting.. hopefully she can eventually trace what may have caused her to develop this possible sense of inferiority/incapacity, so she can overcome it, and realize she's no more or less human than the rest of us. Some are just ok with that. And others are just good at pretending. I think being able to find the humor in almost any situation is helpful.. learning to laugh at yourself, learning to laugh with others.. seems to feel like an equalizer in some respects.

    It seems infinitely beneficial to try to remind someone caught in a loop such as this, that things don't have to be this way. That discomfort and need to pull back doesn't have to exist, and she does have the power to change it, if she's willing to do the work, that her incapacity is only a blurry lens in her mind's eye, not an actual part of who she is.

    It might help, to ask her, at a point in time when she's not actively distressed, to think for a minute, and try to figure out what thoughts are occurring in her mind in those moments of fearful emotional response, so she can try to narrow down and pinpoint what lines of reasoning and misconceptions/invalid conclusions compel her to avoid. If she doesn't want to break it down with another person, it may help to suggest taking it down in a journal, and looking through it for patterns.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

Similar Threads

  1. Are You Afraid to Take Risks?
    By Mal12345 in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 09-24-2014, 07:40 PM
  2. Why are people afraid to ask for things?
    By prplchknz in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 75
    Last Post: 04-16-2014, 08:58 AM
  3. [INFJ] Spin-off thread! INFJ males! Who are you attracted to?
    By SinistralPal in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-15-2010, 04:43 AM
  4. [ISFP] ISFPs: what types are you attracted to/repulsed by .. as in M/F relationships?
    By Julie1962 in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-20-2009, 12:33 AM
  5. [MBTItm] INFJs-are you prone to getting concrete info to verify intuition?
    By karenk in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 01-19-2009, 04:21 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO