If this is true, does it then follow that an INTJ would find the ENFP unattractive and disappointing when the ENFP has periods of being introspective, serious or depressed?
Naw. INTJs definitely understand introspection and seriousness, IME. I doubt they'd be disappointed to find those traits in someone else, even their typically bouncing-ball-of-radiant-energy ENFP.
No well-developed person is going to be one note all the time, I think. If an ENFP were to wield a joy for life that is never toned down to match anyone else's mood or serious situations or what have you, that would be annoying and probably fake (people fluctuate goddammit). A personality trait isn't a trait because you always show it, or feel it. It's a more general constant, I think.
So, even if an ENFP were to be put off the lust for life for months at a time, I think any reasonable person (and what is the INTJ if not reasonable!) would just be extra-supportive and enjoy the calmer energy.
Depression, on the other hand, would be a little different, probably. Any relationship with people of any type would have to give a little in terms of expectations. However, my ENFP friend deals with frequent depressive bouts and her INTJ adores her all the same. Because she's the same girl, all passion and tenacity, just darker and tougher.
My theory still remains that INTJs decide on you. Once they've done that, they're just simply committed to loving you. No matter what moods or illness may come. Is my experience.
Yeah, we just decide. Regardless of the others' MBTI. It doesn't necessarily work out, but that's how INTJs do it. If an INTJ decides on you, you either have to decide to leave the INTJ or really, really, really f-ck up. Both have been known to happen.
To be honest, I don't REALLY know if I'm an ENFP at all. It makes sense to me that I am that, based on how I feel and behave when I am most "myself," and that's what I tend to get on the tests (or occasionally INFP), but I do also seem to fill a wide range of roles based on the situation, who I'm with, what I'm doing.
So, who even knows?
I work really hard at what I perceive as my weaknesses - conflict aversion, inability to distinguish others' emotions from my own, certain types of self-discipline, excessive need for social affirmation, etc. I guess I am interested in Myers-Briggs for this reason primarily (as well as the application in human relationships in general) - if I can understand my own tendencies, then I have more options in terms of moving forward.
Wow...I'm just thinking about the part where both of you get needy and insecure and angsty...how is that even possible?
I don't know... I talked about it on another thread somewhere, but mostly if the other person isn't comfortable approaching the-not-so-fun conversations then they just sort of get bigger and bigger. I'm working on being more upfront about things and I would like someone who hopefully can deal with it too.
As for dating an INTJ, I agree with purplesunset in that it's best to like someone and then find out they are an INTJ. Attraction is always the first step, at least for me.
Well... usually I do find myself attracted, but just scared to approach further. I don't even really know how I ended up with the INTJ friends that I have now. More through common friends first, I suppose, and then it just happened.
Ok let me clarify on that last part. I am attracted and intimidated, and therefore I suspect that they might be INTJ because of how I have felt around new INTJs (my two female INTJ friends) in the past, and I want to date them because of the attraction and because of how beneficial the INTJ friendships have been for me... it just feels right, but I can't get past myself to actually go for it. Or at least I haven't been able to in the past.