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  1. #1
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
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    Default Help with figuring this out.

    I think I need some help with understanding what's holding me back from reaching my full potential to be happy. I tend to focus on giving and helping others so that harmony can be present in my relationships. I have been exploring why I feel so unmotivated and I doubt I am actually depressed. Throughout my life, I have spent all my mental energy escaping myself and living apart from myself, while being aware of who I am. I know that sounds hard to understand as it sounds contradictory, but it's hard to explain. I guess the easier way to present it, would be to say that I struggle with self loathing to the core, and I know my reasons why.

    I just don't know how to change the ways I think and feel about myself as it seems to change the negative self talk to positive just feels like such a lie. I have wondered if this is mainly an INFJ issue, or does everybody actually do this? I want to see myself differently and like myself. Maybe I just spend too much time in introspection and I think myself in circles while my "id and ego" battle it out. I believe I see the world through the eyes of my higher mind. I'm always aware of what is going on with others, even if they are unaware of it themselves, and I feel like a hypocrit if I try to offer ways to help make their life better when I can't even do that for myself.

    I need to be more motivated for positive reasons, rather than from plain and simple needing to be responsible, reliable and accountable to myself and others in my life. I'm hoping for some suggestions from other INFJ's. Thanks.

  2. #2
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    You are going through a phase. Once you come out the other end you will have a more solid idea of yourself and you will not be riddled with anxieties and preoccupations regarding the way you live your life and who you are.

    You can't skip ahead by taking advice from me or someone else. You just have to let it ride.

  3. #3
    Senior Member velocity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    You are going through a phase. Once you come out the other end you will have a more solid idea of yourself and you will not be riddled with anxieties and preoccupations regarding the way you live your life and who you are.

    You can't skip ahead by taking advice from me or someone else. You just have to let it ride.
    surely you're not being entj micro-managing enough.

  4. #4
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Your prejudice isn't becoming.

  5. #5
    Senior Member velocity's Avatar
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    harmony in interpersonal relationships but discord in intrapersonal relationship?
    imbalance.
    also, unmotivated to do what?

  6. #6
    Senior Member velocity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    Your prejudice isn't becoming.


    is it endearing?

  7. #7
    Senior Member Quiet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    You are going through a phase. Once you come out the other end you will have a more solid idea of yourself and you will not be riddled with anxieties and preoccupations regarding the way you live your life and who you are.

    You can't skip ahead by taking advice from me or someone else. You just have to let it ride.
    Thanks, I guess this is one way of looking at it. I'll consider this.

  8. #8
    A window to the soul
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    Lightbulb Just do it...

    Quote Originally Posted by Quiet View Post
    I think I need some help with understanding what's holding me back from reaching my full potential to be happy. I tend to focus on giving and helping others so that harmony can be present in my relationships. I have been exploring why I feel so unmotivated and I doubt I am actually depressed. Throughout my life, I have spent all my mental energy escaping myself and living apart from myself, while being aware of who I am. I know that sounds hard to understand as it sounds contradictory, but it's hard to explain. I guess the easier way to present it, would be to say that I struggle with self loathing to the core, and I know my reasons why.

    I just don't know how to change the ways I think and feel about myself as it seems to change the negative self talk to positive just feels like such a lie. I have wondered if this is mainly an INFJ issue, or does everybody actually do this? I want to see myself differently and like myself. Maybe I just spend too much time in introspection and I think myself in circles while my "id and ego" battle it out. I believe I see the world through the eyes of my higher mind. I'm always aware of what is going on with others, even if they are unaware of it themselves, and I feel like a hypocrit if I try to offer ways to help make their life better when I can't even do that for myself.

    I need to be more motivated for positive reasons, rather than from plain and simple needing to be responsible, reliable and accountable to myself and others in my life. I'm hoping for some suggestions from other INFJ's. Thanks.
    Try to do less thinking and more doing; less analyzing and more going with your gut; learn to let go, face your fears, be spontaneous, and just do it. It works for me.

  9. #9
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Ugh...I wish I wasn't on my phone so Icould write a more thoughtful respponse but my advice would be see a counselor and deal with your reasons for disliking yourself...nothing anyone can say or do will change a thing for you until you learn to have a healthy view of yourself...nothing in life will make you happy or fill that hole for you..you've gotta do the painful work to get through it first.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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