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  1. #181
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    This is painfully accurate. It almost hurts to let anyone know that.
    It doesn't almost hurt... it does hurt. More than anything else in the world.

    Until you get to the other side.

  2. #182
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    But what surprised me was the INFJs behavior. She is very mature, intelligent, beautiful, caring, clever and is about as INFJ as you can be. I adore her, thus was very disappointed to see this.

    I know in my mind, hoe I would twist logic to justify my own desire for this man, even though it never resulted in anything. How would an INFJ justify this?
    I think a lot of INFJs have an understanding that while there is that "connection", that's probably all there will ever be. But that connection is very powerful, I can assure you, so just a little dose can keep her somehow fulfilled.

    She has probably been brutally honest with herself about what their relationship will be like and is just enjoying it for what it is worth, because really, she may not be expecting anything at all from him, especially if she's thought carefully about who she is dealing with.

    He probably appreciates all those things in her you appreciate about her also, but in the ENTP way. Even if it's just for that "quality time", which may be all she needs right now, and all he can give, and they just have this mutual understanding.

    Sounds very grown-up like and taboo perhaps, but both have these dark sides and I think it can be tougher to acknowledge the INFJ dark side than the ENTP dark side (since everyone seems to always talk about it)...

  3. #183
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    I know in my mind, hoe I would twist logic to justify my own desire for this man, even though it never resulted in anything. How would an INFJ justify this?
    Masochism. Shame-based masochism. Plus desire.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  4. #184
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Masochism. Shame-based masochism. Plus desire.
    lol?

    Shame based on?

  5. #185
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    If we seem narcissistic, we're compensating for the fact that oftentimes, we truly don't know who loves us in this world.
    IOW: If we seem narcissistic, it's because we are.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  6. #186
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quay View Post
    lol?

    Shame based on?
    Submerged needs. Submerged self. Avoidant tendencies.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #187
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    IOW: If we seem narcissistic, it's because we are.
    +1
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #188
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Submerged needs. Submerged self. Avoidant tendencies.
    In relation to the situation Happy Puppy described, what could you say is being submerged by the INFJ? What could she be avoiding? A certain state of being?

  9. #189
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Puppy View Post
    this is totally me hopping in on your thread (I am currently making metaphorical intellectual love to INTJs) but I had an INFJ-ENTP question.

    I dont want to stereotype, but INFJs seem to tend to be very conservative regarding sexuality and social mores.

    So I was very surprised to find out that my ENTP who bugged me all of last year was sleeping with one of my favorite INFJs-even though he seems to have a long term INFJ girlfriend of 8 years at home. Now he will have casual sex with anyone it seems, to the point of the rest of our company calling my department his harem.

    But what surprised me was the INFJs behavior. She is very mature, intelligent, beautiful, caring, clever and is about as INFJ as you can be. I adore her, thus was very disappointed to see this.

    I know in my mind, hoe I would twist logic to justify my own desire for this man, even though it never resulted in anything. How would an INFJ justify this?
    If she isn't looking for a relationship right now, he would be a pleasant, convenient, and safe lay. He is already in a relationship and he has shown that he is capable of having casual sex without becoming attached to his partners so he's unlikely to be clingy and make her feel bad when she's ready to move on.

    There are several "other women" so she's really not doing a marriage breaker kind of thing. Also, if he's getting repeat customers, he's probably pretty good in bed.

    If you just want sex, it sounds pretty ideal. INFJs have hormones, too, and we can be pretty dang pragmatic when a situation calls for it.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  10. #190
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    The need to be healthy. She's essentially engaging in self-harm.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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