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  1. #171
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Usually I become immediately blunt and unsmiling towards the person as well as making sure others are alerted. Inappropriate behaviour thrives on secrecy. The really good ones at it though send out an inappropriate message/action that neither of you can mistake, but that unless you were there could be read in more than one way. My mother was very good at imparting trust, yet appropriate wariness towards other people so that we learned to send out fairly clear signals about anything physical. I have never had anyone try anything (other than one night at Hallowe'en when a random drunk stranger decided to reach out and give me a pat on the butt).

    I think it's more when it comes to emotional boundaries that things get messier. I don't generally put as much stock in emotional interactions as sometimes the recipient does and therefore they misread my intentions. I'm good at being kind but firm when someone starts trying to emotionally mooch on a regular basis, as well as shutting down clearly inapproprate verbal stuff. It's more that needy, I need to pour out my life story and fears kind of thing where I am not spending excessive amounts of time or overexerting myself emotionally that I sometimes am unclear about.

  2. #172
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Which means you never know when we're kidding or not. Hiding in plain sight. Much better strategy than trying to stay hidden.
    Why does it mean that? Yes, when an ENTP is messing around, their tongue and cheek humor may sail right over the majority - but I'm not referring to humor. If asked a sincere question, I don't see them ever keeping quiet ENTP's love talking. And as they're rather narcassistic, all their talking is usually about themselves. I don't see your type keeping hidden.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  3. #173
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    Why does it mean that? Yes, when an ENTP is messing around, their tongue and cheek humor may sail right over the majority - but I'm not referring to humor. If asked a sincere question, I don't see them ever keeping quiet ENTP's love talking. And as they're rather narcassistic, all their talking is usually about themselves. I don't see your type keeping hidden.
    If we seem narcissistic, we're compensating for the fact that oftentimes, we truly don't know who loves us in this world.

  4. #174
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    Why does it mean that? Yes, when an ENTP is messing around, their tongue and cheek humor may sail right over the majority - but I'm not referring to humor. If asked a sincere question, I don't see them ever keeping quiet ENTP's love talking. And as they're rather narcassistic, all their talking is usually about themselves. I don't see your type keeping hidden.
    I agree with that. I do think the self-centeredness is generally compensatory. I think ENTP's are not likely to be aggressively narcissistic. But, it is a tendency I see. I think this is why ENTP's and similar types might do well to work on themselves. Not that I have all the answers on that score. It is amazingly difficult to change yourself, which is where a lot of problems stem from.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #175
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    If we seem narcissistic, we're compensating for the fact that oftentimes, we truly don't know who loves us in this world.
    Yes, insecurity often accompanies an ego, as contradictory as that sounds. But I've seen it before too many times, especially in ENTP's.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I agree with that. I do think the self-centeredness is generally compensatory. I think ENTP's are not likely to be aggressively narcissistic. But, it is a tendency I see.
    That was very admirable of you.

    I think this is why ENTP's and similar types might do well to work on themselves. Not that I have all the answers on that score. It is amazingly difficult to change yourself, which is where a lot of problems stem from.
    It's strange to me how often members here insist that one cannot attach character flaws to the temperaments - as though it's unrelated. But if we can recognize our innate strengths (which MBTI favors), why can't we do the same for our weaknesses? I know someone produced a thread for this discussion, but people were so defensive even at the mere suggestion of such a concept that I didn't wanna get slammed for any real feedback. But that's another topic entirely. End of derail. (Sorry, your post just seems to hint that you adhere to such taboo things, makes me excited )
    Last edited by lane777; 03-06-2010 at 05:13 PM.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  6. #176
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lane777 View Post
    Yes, insecurity often accompanies an ego, as contradictory as that sounds. But I've seen it before too many times, especially in ENTP's.
    Sometimes displays of ego are intended to create a false internal reality. ENTP's over-intellectualize things to protect themselves from simple truths.

    It's strange to me how often members here insist that one cannot attach character flaws to the temperaments - as though it's unrelated. But if we can recognize our innate strengths (which MBTI favors), why can't we do the same for our weaknesses? I know someone produced a thread for this discussion, but people were so defensive even at the mere suggestion of such a concept that I didn't wanna get slammed for any real feedback. But that's another topic entirely. End of derail. (Sorry, your post just seems to hint that you adhere to such taboo things, makes me excited )
    Good point.

    Well. I would get defensive, but I have given up. I'm getting tired of my problems.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  7. #177
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    Cloud. I missed your post. I keep missing the "op" reference. Getting use to the forum dynamics still.
    I wouldn't say good and evil attracting. I think the two types are very much the same but with a polarity. I read in the NT section how ENTP to INFJ is like simply pulling a sock inside out. I also have an image of two magnets of the same pole that stay hovering around each other but never touching.
    To me, the distance is comfortable. Maybe because there are people nearby me who don't get it, and then the ENTP across the room knows exactly what is going on with me.
    Initially, it was disconcerting to be read so easily by them.
    I do think the ENTP who is undeveloped will attempt to use this as manipulation. I've had it tried on me, but I kindly deflected it and then distanced myself. I'm not sure if the person wanted me to like or despise him, but I decided I wasn't going to invest energy into either.
    I think he may have been trying to know me better, but thought I wouldn't like him as a person anyhow, so he decided to test me with bad bahavior. Doorslam and that was it.
    But the older ENTPs who fidelia speaks of are the ones who are my steadfast friends. They are at a point where they are just comfortable with themselves for the most part. I see the insecure side, but then they see mine too, so it works out.

  8. #178
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    If we seem narcissistic, we're compensating for the fact that oftentimes, we truly don't know who loves us in this world.
    This is painfully accurate. It almost hurts to let anyone know that.


    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Sometimes displays of ego are intended to create a false internal reality. ENTP's over-intellectualize things to protect themselves from simple truths.
    So is this! Good lord.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  9. #179
    Playnerd Timeless's Avatar
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    I'm not sure, I guess so...

    My best friend's sister is an INFJ and we get along really well. She's surprisingly interested in everything I say even if it's stupid or silly. One day I was teaching her how to use the computer and internet and I said:

    "Put it this way, when you clicked the link: it downloaded that application, it went into your download folderóthe same way when UPS delivered a box to you, it goes inside your house. You just have to open it up afterwards, that's all. You clicked that link a thousand times and now you have a thousand boxes."

    She died laughing.

    "Your analogies are amazing. It helps me really understand!"


  10. #180
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    this is totally me hopping in on your thread (I am currently making metaphorical intellectual love to INTJs) but I had an INFJ-ENTP question.

    I dont want to stereotype, but INFJs seem to tend to be very conservative regarding sexuality and social mores.

    So I was very surprised to find out that my ENTP who bugged me all of last year was sleeping with one of my favorite INFJs-even though he seems to have a long term INFJ girlfriend of 8 years at home. Now he will have casual sex with anyone it seems, to the point of the rest of our company calling my department his harem.

    But what surprised me was the INFJs behavior. She is very mature, intelligent, beautiful, caring, clever and is about as INFJ as you can be. I adore her, thus was very disappointed to see this.

    I know in my mind, hoe I would twist logic to justify my own desire for this man, even though it never resulted in anything. How would an INFJ justify this?

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