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  1. #111
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    And what did I do wrong this time that multi-quoting once again did not work for me?

  2. #112
    sammy
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    And what did I do wrong this time that multi-quoting once again did not work for me?
    Haha, the "/" before the first bracketed quote tag negates the quote command.

  3. #113
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    edit:
    the first one has to be [quote] so without the /

  4. #114
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Thank you all!

  5. #115
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Vulnerable to in terms of other people? Also, can you explain the bolded part a little more?
    By vulnerable, I just mean that no one sets out to hurt people or make mistakes. "The road to hell..", etc. I think it's foolish to think you could never cheat or hurt someone you love. People do all the time and they rarely see it for what it is when it's happening to them and when they're doing it. So, I generally try to be aware of myself and stay fairly paranoid about the dangers of becoming close to people of the opposite sex.

    As for the bolded part, I have tried making big messes to force my own hand. When I was younger, I tried to drive someone away by making myself look like an asshole simply because I couldn't break away on my own. I once told someone I couldn't date them because they weren't white. I didn't do this because I was racist or because it was the truth. I did it because I wanted to make them angry so they would leave without me having to be honest about the real reasons, namely that I was no longer attracted to them. I would rather they hate me than feel insecure.

    In what ways? I think this is what I was getting at. What do you do? Do you realize after the fact that you have done it, or only when it's pointed out. Is it conscious, or unconscious?
    Oh, in the past I have just pushed people and tried different things just to see how they would respond. If they were too quick to bail, I would think that they were likely to not be long-term material.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  6. #116
    sammy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    What types of men do you particular respond to? INTJ? I have known some INTJ women and it's almost right except that they seem too masculine and rarely know how to dress and look pretty.
    Do you mean that INTJ women are almost right for fulfilling your needs, but because they don't typically seem feminine, it turns you off? So, are you attracted to any type that is ultimately nurturing?

    I respond especially well to most other ENTPs and ENTJs. Both types, from my experience, give me just the right amount of nurturing and attentiveness to be satisfied. I think a INTx would suit me well too, but I've yet to be in any kind of relationship past friendship with one.

    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    i see infjs as assuming that the feeling they need so desperately like fuel to keep them going must be supplied by their romantic partner. and that if it is not naturally in abundance that they must help create it through context, communication, connection, etc.

    the notion that we must find it for ourselves in the world and in our daily existence is confusing and can be highly distracting. i know i need it, but it is awkward to get it elsewhere when that would completely capture my attention and feel somewhat like infidelity. where are we to find inspiration? and completely opening ourselves up, how can we make it worth it when doing that takes a great amount of inspiration because so much negativity gets into us as well throughout the process.
    Hmm, I can see a vicious cycle between an immature ENTP and INFJ would emerge from that kind of situation. One would constantly try to connect through various medium, and the other would back off more and more due to the perceived "insecurity." I've seen that dynamic play out between many other types, but especially with preference combinations so diametrically opposed.

    I can see why you'd say it would feel like infidelity. Maybe, it's not worth being in a relationship with someone you cannot open up to, or with. That's not a "relationship" then, as defined by your realistic needs.

  7. #117
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    By vulnerable, I just mean that no one sets out to hurt people or make mistakes. "The road to hell..", etc. I think it's foolish to think you could never cheat or hurt someone you love. People do all the time and they rarely see it for what it is when it's happening to them and when they're doing it. So, I generally try to be aware of myself and stay fairly paranoid about the dangers of becoming close to people of the opposite sex.
    One of my male friends (ENTJ?) had a father that had cheated and he seemed determined to prove that he could withstand even the most tempting of circumstances. I asked him about what if he failed (after all, understanding something intellectually is not all of the equation even when we have strong conviction about it) and he felt that since he couldn't afford to fail since the stakes were so high, it would actually strengthen the relationship.

    Your line of reasoning makes much more sense to me and has been borne out in what I've observed with other couples. I have learned to avoid getting close to people of the opposite sex who are not good potential partners or avoid getting close to people of the opposite sex when I am in a relationship (or when they are).

  8. #118
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramis View Post
    Do you mean that INTJ women are almost right for fulfilling your needs, but because they don't typically seem feminine, it turns you off? So, are you attracted to any type that is ultimately nurturing?

    I respond especially well to most other ENTPs and ENTJs. Both types, from my experience, give me just the right amount of nurturing and attentiveness to be satisfied. I think a INTx would suit me well too, but I've yet to be in any kind of relationship past friendship with one.
    INTJ women seem to have a compatible sense of humor and possess the INXJ serenity I appreciate. But, they seem a bit rough around the edges. They can be feminine but they are generally not very refined. They tend to be a bit insensitive in terms of what they wear or eat or how they move. They are often very ardent, I think. So, it's not a question of passion. They just seem to need a bit of polish that is not natural for them. I find this lack of refinement and elegance unappealing in a woman. I like how charming women can be when they have a well-developed aesthetic sense. It's highly intoxicating. INFJ women who exult in beauty and take pride in themselves seem to sometimes possess a very unique yet feminine sense of style in all aspects of their lives.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  9. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aramis View Post
    Hmm, I can see a vicious cycle between an immature ENTP and INFJ would emerge from that kind of situation. One would constantly try to connect through various medium, and the other would back off more and more due to the perceived "insecurity." I've seen that dynamic play out between many other types, but especially with preference combinations so diametrically opposed...
    In my experience, if their Fe needs are not met, the INFJ will not keep trying to connect, they will shut down and become depressed and unhappy. Very negative Ni-Ti loop thing starts up.

  10. #120
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    Your line of reasoning makes much more sense to me and has been borne out in what I've observed with other couples. I have learned to avoid getting close to people of the opposite sex who are not good potential partners or avoid getting close to people of the opposite sex when I am in a relationship (or when they are).
    Right. At the end of the day we are designed to become close to people of the opposite sex. This is the powerful biological magic that perpetuates our species. To think we have total control over this fails to recognize the true power of attraction. You are setting yourself up to fail.

    It has the potential to overwhelm all reason, propriety, and concern for anything else. This is the duality of Romance. It has the power to create and destroy. It is elemental. Why else do we compare romantic love to fire? Fire excites and warms but the same fire can maim and destroy.

    As an example, everyone should see "Damage". I believe it's on Netflix streaming.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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