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  1. #21
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    I prefer to be around anyone who is intelligent, humorous, mentally challenging, kind, genuine, and honest.

    My list could go on, but I suppose the most important characteristic is, I just like people who treat me with respect.

    If you are good to me, I'll be good to you. That goes for every person in my life.
    "It is not length of life, but depth of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

    "Thought breeds thought." ~ Henry David Thoreau

  2. #22
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    I have a largish family I have to be around because I'm the mom. I love them and really tend to enjoy their company because they are funny and smart, but it doesn't leave me a lot of energy left over to be very social with non-family.

    When I am around other people socially, I prefer they not be mentally rigid or stuffy. If they are intelligent and funny, that is cool. If they are also a bit cynical, but basically kind-hearted, I will love them. If they think Rush Limbaugh wrote the fifth gospel, I will be disappointed and may feel a little nauseous.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
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  3. #23
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I realized a while ago that I only have two major criteria for friends: that they be nice and interesting. And if they can't be interesting, they can at least be nice.

    I know this is condescending, but I've had some good friends who are not very "interesting" at least as far as being intellectually stimulating or whatever. But they are lovely people who have their friends' best interests at heart. To me this is the main thing. If you have nice and interesting together, that's just awesome. And I have had a few of those.

    If someone is only interesting, and not nice - you should probably (at most) keep it on the level of acquaintanceship. You'll get hurt ultimately if you try to be friends with them, no matter how interesting they are.

    EDIT: In typology terms, best friends have included a few INFJs and at least one ISFJ. They are all both nice and interesting. Most of my good friends over the years have probably been NFs and SJs. I'm generalizing very broadly here, but a few NTs that I tried to be friends with seemed mainly interested in people as intellectual playthings - and with those I can think of who are definitely SPs, either both I and them haven't been interested in taking it past acquaintanceship, or I've ended up hurt by selfish and inconsiderate behaviour. But despite how that may sound, I hope I'm still open to friendship with possible NTs or SPs! First and foremost you should just take people as people. There are both great people, and jerks, in all types.
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  4. #24
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    Actually continuity AND change are the two constants.

    Anyways like many others here, I like variety in my friends.

    Ah.. yeah.. I was generalizing a lot there.. I guess I meant moreover that, change seems to be the most apparent constant within the greater pattern [of continuity], if that makes sense.. and it's an unavoidable aspect of existence that we ideally should adapt to, & grow from, etc..
    I'm not wording things the way I'd like to, lately.
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  5. #25
    Senior Member tibby's Avatar
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    One thing I've noticed about my friends is that they're very mature - in the sense their environments have forced themselves to mature early and be responsible for themselves, they haven't had it easy. I feel comfortable with them. But that's as far the commonalities go, they're all very different types of people.

    And as was mentioned before by others, I appreciate puzzles too.

    I like being around questioning, interesting people.
    And I like learning about them.

    I feel like I'm almost some kind of a scientist studying the people around me because I find them fascinating.

  6. #26
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    I think ENTP's and INFJ's are pretty similar in some hard to explain way. Could be everyone is the same in this way, but I do know that close relationships are tough for me. Except when they aren't. And this can change and mutate with every second depending on my level of confidence, anxiety, mood, attitude, energy level, etc. In short, I often feel crazy.
    My main problem is basically: I think too much.
    Yeah... and I totally relate to the mutation depending on mood and confidence level. Totally.
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  7. #27
    Senior Member hokie912's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I realized a while ago that I only have two major criteria for friends: that they be nice and interesting. And if they can't be interesting, they can at least be nice.

    I know this is condescending, but I've had some good friends who are not very "interesting" at least as far as being intellectually stimulating or whatever. But they are lovely people who have their friends' best interests at heart. To me this is the main thing. If you have nice and interesting together, that's just awesome. And I have had a few of those.
    Definitely relate to this. I think that being well-intentioned is my number one criterion for friendship. Well-intentioned isn't always quite the same as nice, and I've known some people who aren't nice by any objective standards but, motivation-wise, have their hearts in the right place. As long as you aren't malicious or generally mean, we're cool. And I get the sense that I'm more likely to consider the perceived motivations rather than a person's behavior than most other people I know, which means that I'm willing to overlook a lot of flaws.

    I also relate to the part about having some friends who are nice but not interesting. I value these people, but sometimes wish that I could make myself find them more interesting. I usually find myself drifting away from these friendships over time. It's always wonderful when you find people who are both nice and interesting...those are the ones you want to hold on to. The interesting but not-nice ones, as you said, it's best to keep a fair distance from.

  8. #28
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    I related to that post as well. ^

    I'll admit I find a considerable number of people boring, but I am actually outgrowing a lot of that. I find more people to be interesting than I used to, I'm happy to say. Regardless, niceness trumps all.
    A hero is someone who does the right thing without expectation of reward, just because it's the right thing to do.

  9. #29
    Peaced Quay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I know this is condescending, but I've had some good friends who are not very "interesting" at least as far as being intellectually stimulating or whatever. But they are lovely people who have their friends' best interests at heart. To me this is the main thing. If you have nice and interesting together, that's just awesome. And I have had a few of those.
    Yep. I just like to learn from people. I think there is a higher purpose to come of every close relationship I have with someone. Not to say I cannot gain from those who are not interesting, which I do, but there are particular kinds of folks I like to be around to match my cosmicness, I guess. Can't really explain this..

    Quote Originally Posted by tibby View Post
    One thing I've noticed about my friends is that they're very mature - in the sense their environments have forced themselves to mature early and be responsible for themselves, they haven't had it easy. I feel comfortable with them. But that's as far the commonalities go, they're all very different types of people.

    And as was mentioned before by others, I appreciate puzzles too.

    I like being around questioning, interesting people.
    And I like learning about them.

    I feel like I'm almost some kind of a scientist studying the people around me because I find them fascinating.
    I really relate to this. I don't have normal friends. But I'm not normal myself so it matches...

  10. #30
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    I like all types of people. I especially like people who are genuine, who can say what's on their mind without offense because you know they're caring souls.

    The people I like least are:

    People who portray themselves as something they're not, they say the right things, do the right things but you feel right to your bone that they're actors.

    People who are so narrow that they think all of humanity should be like them. They can be very like-able in some respects and some of them are incredibly social and have a lot of friends. They have a tendency to voice strong opinions about anything from cat lovers, vegetarians. They're totally impatient with other drivers. They bully service workers. They don't mind correcting people in front of others. They have the attitude that they 'got where they are by their own true grit' so no there's no excuse for anyone else. They feel as if only the best in life is good enough for them. They tend to get caught up in trends, like fine cigars, wine, certain vehicles, brands, etc. Some of them secretly (or maybe not) take pride in thinking they are a hard-ass which makes me wonder what weakness they're trying to compensate for cover is for.

    People who offer an occasional criticism in earnest to help are fine but there are some who offer their 'help' way too often. When I'm with my sister in law it feels like she's looking for an opportunity to make a comments. They wrap their comments in a pretty package so as not to be too critical but the feeling for me is that they have issues. Sometimes I wonder if it's envy or jealousy.

    Most of these types I can deal with in small doses but only with my force field on high.

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