I can totally relate to your post about giving too much and not getting enough back. Being an NFJ myself, I am sometimes guilty of being too 'intense'. I want to give. I want to make them happy. I want them to say "Oh, you make my life so much better" and appreciate me for being such a wonderful and supportive partner. However, sometimes this can get way out of control. Sometimes when I don't get a desired response I feel rejected. I feel like I am being taken for granted. Sometimes this triggers me to give more and more, as if I'm saying "Look at me. Look at how much I'm doing for you! Please love me". But if there is still no acknowledgment, I get hurt and become resentful. I feel unloved, unneeded. Sometimes even when I know for certain that they have no such intention, it still hurts. Because, deep down, I know all it takes is just one thoughtful gesture to let me know that I'm appreciated, and it hurts that they don't even understand that. One little thing would make me happy. Why didn't they even bother?
One thing that helped me, after going crazy on my INFP for 'not bothering' and later finding out that I was overreacting out of my own insecurities, was that the problem was partially because of my fundamental belief. Fe people have an Fe language, and we all speak it fluently. I've noticed that what goes on in my head gets expressed. Affection is expressed through the 'usual' channels -- talking, spending time together, giving attention. Ti, Te, Fi people don't really speak our language. They speak a totally different language. Sometimes what they do sometimes doesn't mean what we think it means. This isn't a great discovery, but the moment I realized it, I felt that the best thing was just to adjust my attitude -- to be secure in the knowledge that my INFP does like me. And maybe he doesn't feel the need to show it the way I do.
With T types I think it's a bit trickier, because they usually don't have the emotional vulnerability that Fs do. However, I think they can try to understand it logically. "This is how I function. Please read the manuals and operate me the correct way" seems to work. Back it up a little bit with science and statistics. Maybe you could be very subtle and let him 'figure you out' slowly. Ts don't deal well at all with negative emotional outbreaks. The Ts I know stop listening once I get emotional and think that anything I say when I'm being emotional is 'irrational', 'unreliable' and 'not to be taken into consideration (because she's obviously freaking out right now so better let her calm down and then we can talk)'. They don't understand that it doesn't work that way for us. For us, what we intensely feel is what matters.
I'm speaking from my experience so I don't know if it is the same thing you are going through or not. Anyway, I really think your relationship can work, because you obviously care a lot for him. Good luck and hope it works out for the best!