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[INFJ] The Empath (INFJ)

wedekit

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So, any other INFJs (or NFs) have a problem with keeping other people's feelings out of their system?

I swear every time someone in a bad mood walks into the same room as me I automatically feel it. It is troublesome and annoying; It always sits in the back of my mind. I am able to ignore it, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Of course it has its perks when someone is in a great mood. Literally contagious.

When people do something embarrassing I feel just as embarrassed as they do. My face will heat up and everything. Even if it's just on TV.
 

wolfmaiden14

*ears perk up*
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Watching extreme sports crashes give me muscle cramps :X Especially hyper extended limbs and faceplants. o_O

I also have a biiiig problem not only feeling, but internalizing people's emotional issues. That whole.."being aware of hidden illnesses even before others are conscious of it." Yeah.. only I get the unconsciousness of it too! I start feeling stressed and take on symptoms and mannerisms and then attempt to correct myself without even realizing it was never my problem to begin with :cry: This is something I'm really trying to learn how to catch.

I tend to target the bad mood people and try to make them smile or laugh, if I have the self energy to be a bit extroverted that day. Gotta watch with what the mood is about, though, and what the person is like.. while it's nice to cheer someone up, there's also a good chance it might be inappropriate. Like.. if someone's really really down.. they probably just need to be alone. If they're just being a miserable grump.. oh I will try my damndest to change their attitude.

Oh but the good end is such an amazing feeling! Like, I was visiting my friend at college, and one of her friends took us into a room with a piano and just started playing. The music was awesome, the friends listening was awesome, his passion in playing was awesome.. and then a girl stopped in from the hallway to listen and started asking questions. :wubbie: The whole flow of energy between everyone got me so giddy my friends roommates even commented. :3
 

Kiddo

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So, any other INFJs (or NFs) have a problem with keeping other people's feelings out of their system?

I swear every time someone in a bad mood walks into the same room as me I automatically feel it. It is troublesome and annoying; It always sits in the back of my mind. I am able to ignore it, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Of course it has its perks when someone is in a great mood. Literally contagious.

When people do something embarrassing I feel just as embarrassed as they do. My face will heat up and everything. Even if it's just on TV.

I actually got fired from a job because of it. I had this supervisor who came into work in a bad mood and she was just going about her day trying not to show it. But since she was in a bad mood and I didn't know why, I couldn't help but assume it was completely my fault. So I started hinting that I knew she was in a bad mood, which was not smart because it made her more agitated. And then I began to ask her if there was anything I had done. And that seemed to just get more on her nerves. Eventually I couldn't stand being in the same room with her because it was so tense and uncomfortable so I asked her to be relieved early. She bursts into tears and told me I had a terrible attitude, but if I wanted to go then I could. A few days later, the manager dismissed me.

And then there was the dude who kept saying stupid stuff in class. I was feeling so embarrassed for so long, but I finally realized he was oblivious to how bad he sounded and that alleviated a lot of it.
 

runvardh

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That's the stuff that helps me counsel my friends and tell me when to run if someone is going to get stupid.
 

wolfmaiden14

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And then there was the dude who kept saying stupid stuff in class. I was feeling so embarrassed for so long, but I finally realized he was oblivious to how bad he sounded and that alleviated a lot of it.

Yes.. that's the big issue with empathy.. making sure not to implant our own emotions, or ones they don't really have, while wearing their shoes.
 

redacted

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So, any other INFJs (or NFs) have a problem with keeping other people's feelings out of their system?

I swear every time someone in a bad mood walks into the same room as me I automatically feel it. It is troublesome and annoying; It always sits in the back of my mind. I am able to ignore it, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Of course it has its perks when someone is in a great mood. Literally contagious.

When people do something embarrassing I feel just as embarrassed as they do. My face will heat up and everything. Even if it's just on TV.

ditto. exactly.
 

Atomic Fiend

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It's something I deal with everyday, so It doesn't bother me, though it stinks when the people that I'm surrounded with are destroying someones self-esteem, and I'm just sitting there watching, feeling guilty as all hell.

On one hand I can say it's not my problem and I try to ignore it. But all you really do is end up hating the jerk who just put the person through that, and disappointed in yourself.

I don't dwell on it, as it's not my job to stand up for everyone. I'm not Superman, hell I'm not even Robin.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
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It's Fe in action for you... although I sometimes wonder why INFJ not ENFJ should be called the empath seeing as Fe is their dominant... *scratches head*

Very much like you... my emotions are easily influenced by other people and things. I end up crying watch TV/movies over silly stuff...
 

redacted

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i think INFJs are more empathetic because of Ni.

Ni sees a bunch of different perspectives, Fe feels the feelings associated with each of those perspectives.

the stronger the Ni, the more likely you'll see the perspective that one person would be taking. I think ENFJs are better at noticing large-scale (groups') perspectives because they require Ni to do a little less work.
 

redacted

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eh, that logic was kinda shitty.

let me try again:

ENFJs are focused more on groups and less on individuals because they're extroverted. so INFJs would be more likely to focus on a specific person's perspective than ENFJs.
 

Lethe

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I apologize ahead of time for diverting off the topic, but...

WEDEKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT!!!
glomp.gif


This is Nightwing (or Alyssa). ;) Hey there! Didn't expect to see you here! :D
 

Kyrielle

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I wouldn't say it's a problem exactly. It's just very taxing on the system if you aren't feeling your best to start with. I consider it a useful tool in dealing with other people.

But yes, I know what you mean. When other people are agitated or uplifted, I pick right up on it...sometimes so quickly that I don't even realise where the source of sudden emotion is coming from.

And it is very irritating when I see people picking on others. I really want to do something about it, and sometimes I do, but almost everytime I can't find the correct words to say. So, I end up embarrassing myself and I'm torn between feeling better because the situation was diverted for that person...or feeling worse because I became bait for a starving shark. Or worse because I didn't do anything. Actually, I'm almost certain no matter what I could possibly do, it'd be a lose-lose situation.
 

alcea rosea

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So, any other INFJs (or NFs) have a problem with keeping other people's feelings out of their system?

I swear every time someone in a bad mood walks into the same room as me I automatically feel it. It is troublesome and annoying; It always sits in the back of my mind. I am able to ignore it, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Of course it has its perks when someone is in a great mood. Literally contagious.

When people do something embarrassing I feel just as embarrassed as they do. My face will heat up and everything. Even if it's just on TV.

I am usually scoring almost max results in empathy tests. I very often notice that I am feeling something that is not origniated to myself meaning that I have picked up somebody else's mood and experiencing it. I have noticed sometimes when I'm coming back from work that my mood changes completely during the way back to my house. It means that I have picked up the athmosphere at work and when I get out of the workplace, I finally pick up my own mood which might be completely different what it was at workplace.

This is very annoying especially if working in environment which is hostile, unhappy etc. I have tried to learn to develop a emotional wall between myself and people around me and I succeed in it sometimes. I have noticed that I still am very easy target for emotional leeches and emotional vampires but I really am trying to get rid of giving emotional response so fast.

Empathy is really a great thing but I have not found out a good place to use it at work. Empahty is really useful at home with children even if children can be somewhat emotionally draining too if they want to. ;)

Added afterwards:
Even if I'm not INFJ, I seem to have similar way of sensing the feelings of others. My top 4 functions in function test are Ne (4.2), Fi (40.9), Fe (39.8) and Ni (34.8). I have always scored this way in function tests, I get always all N and F functions first, so those are absolutely my strongest functions. That might explain why I have the empath tendencies...?
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
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i think INFJs are more empathetic because of Ni.

Ni sees a bunch of different perspectives, Fe feels the feelings associated with each of those perspectives.

the stronger the Ni, the more likely you'll see the perspective that one person would be taking. I think ENFJs are better at noticing large-scale (groups') perspectives because they require Ni to do a little less work.

eh, that logic was kinda shitty.

The first one worked fine for me. XP Although the second also makes sense. Really the two ties in together quite well. it's a difference in focus.

Alcearos: I very much doubt empathy is limited to INFJs... Ne always seem to me like it's very good at picking up external patterns in group dynamics. Tie that in with Fi, "how do I feel about this atmosphere", can easily affect your mood as well.
 

runvardh

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Alcearos: I very much doubt empathy is limited to INFJs... Ne always seem to me like it's very good at picking up external patterns in group dynamics. Tie that in with Fi, "how do I feel about this atmosphere", can easily affect your mood as well.

See, that's how I work; different mechanics, but you get a simmilar result.
 

cascadeco

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I don't know where I fit in with the whole Empath topic.

I guess I never really thought my personal feelings towards emotions I sense around me had anything to do with me 'taking the other persons emotions as my own'. I'm not sure how much 'empathing' there is actually going on - it's more I pick up on vibes, and said vibes impact my own outlook/mental state.

And I have no awareness of hidden illnesses or anything like that, and wouldn't say I'm very extreme in being affected by people walking into a room and my sensing what they're feeling -- because I think it's a huge stretch for me personally to be able to do that. So I can't relate to that aspect of The Empath. Or I might 'guess'/sense that they're mad/unhappy/whatever, but an individual doesn't affect me as much as a group of people - and the group mentality.

I never thought of it in this way: Person A is feeling sad. Because Person A is sad, I am now sad for the same reason. It's more, person A is sad. I in turn mellow down and my thoughts move towards things that make me sad. Whereas if person A was happy and giddy, my thoughts could easily be directed towards more happy/optimistic ones, so I in turn become happy.

But as I'm typing this out, perhaps I do take on others' emotions. For example, anxiety in another person immediately makes me anxious. It's one reason I have such a hard time being with my mother for an extended period -- she makes me tense, because SHE'S tense. It's odd. Or in a previous job setting, the majority of people were incredibly cynical, bitter, whiney, and negative, and being in that setting just ate away at me, I was a half-shell of existance, and I became cynical as well. I hated the setting, I hated becoming this way. But I never thought I was 'taking on' others feelings BECAUSE they were that way - so I'm not sure empathy was a factor in it - it was more that the negative energy around me forced me inward and forced my thoughts/feelings in a negative direction. But I suppose I became cynical because I saw truth in WHY the people around me were cynical, so maybe that is empathy. I dunno.

It's like the mood of the person I'm with or the enviroment I'm in DOES impact my own mood, but I never equated it to me taking on everyone elses' moods, I thought it was other peoples' moods impacting where my own mental state/thoughts/feelings turn to.
 

runvardh

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Learn something new every day, cas :D
 

cascadeco

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Learn something new every day, cas :D

Uh...not sure how to interpret...various conclusions drawn between comment and chosen emoticon...;)

I'm glad you are learning something?? :huh:

:)
 

runvardh

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Uh...not sure how to interpret...various conclusions drawn between comment and chosen emoticon...;)

I'm glad you are learning something?? :huh:

:)

I'm more getting confirmation on a concept I've been holding to myself for a while. :)
 

cascadeco

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Why hold? Do share!!
 
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