[INFJ] The Empath (INFJ)

[runvardh]

Why hold? Do share!!

Already did, with the help of others.

Alcearos: I very much doubt empathy is limited to INFJs... Ne always seem to me like it's very good at picking up external patterns in group dynamics. Tie that in with Fi, "how do I feel about this atmosphere", can easily affect your mood as well.

See, that's how I work; different mechanics, but you get a simmilar result.

Basically though there are differences in the mechanics of how Fe and Ni work together compared to how Fi and Ne work together; they end up resulting in similar results of empathy.

 

[shen]

I am usually scoring almost max results in empathy tests. I very often notice that I am feeling something that is not origniated to myself meaning that I have picked up somebody else's mood and experiencing it. I have noticed sometimes when I'm coming back from work that my mood changes completely during the way back to my house. It means that I have picked up the athmosphere at work and when I get out of the workplace, I finally pick up my own mood which might be completely different what it was at workplace.

This is very annoying especially if working in environment which is hostile, unhappy etc. I have tried to learn to develop a emotional wall between myself and people around me and I succeed in it sometimes. I have noticed that I still am very easy target for emotional leeches and emotional vampires but I really am trying to get rid of giving emotional response so fast.

Empathy is really a great thing but I have not found out a good place to use it at work. Empahty is really useful at home with children even if children can be somewhat emotionally draining too if they want to.

Added afterwards:
Even if I'm not INFJ, I seem to have similar way of sensing the feelings of others. My top 4 functions in function test are Ne (4.2), Fi (40.9), Fe (39.8) and Ni (34.8). I have always scored this way in function tests, I get always all N and F functions first, so those are absolutely my strongest functions. That might explain why I have the empath tendencies...?

Oh yeh....:doh... at one point in my life when really depressed I had to avoid certain people who were energizing the room with nasty vibes. My natural joyous ENFP ness was flattened and I absorbed other Les miseables/unconsciousness because my energy attracted theirs and vice versa.
I use a method called 'rooted reality' which keeps part of my attention on my inner energy field, if you notice a sudden change that clouds you without stimulation from your thoughts, feel it, do an enviroment quick check, breathe deeply a few times, use your N to locate the source. If it's a person, and if your brave enough, ask them if they are feeling well, and respond appropriatley,or remove yourself If you feel you need to. get some fresh air, stay within your energy field until it subsides, then refresh by simple stretches
and rubbing your body vigourously for aabout a minute or two.

and tell yourself your god darn good!

 

[nightning]

I never thought of it in this way: Person A is feeling sad. Because Person A is sad, I am now sad for the same reason. It's more, person A is sad. I in turn mellow down and my thoughts move towards things that make me sad. Whereas if person A was happy and giddy, my thoughts could easily be directed towards more happy/optimistic ones, so I in turn become happy.

I think what you've described is what I interpret empathy is. No crazy voodoo mind reading ability yet! Aren't you glad?

It's being able to feel and understand why somebody else is feeling that way. I've heard an analogy of "sympathy is like stepping down in the hole with someone, where as empathy is standing at the edge and offering a hand to pull the person out". I guess it doesn't exactly relate, but it's not a direct you feel this and so I feel that. For me is more like you feel happy and it shows from the way you describe how you're planning to go on a trip, and I get excited in your shoes as I imagine the fun stuff you can do. Kind of what you said in your post.

Basically though there are differences in the mechanics of how Fe and Ni work together compared to how Fi and Ne work together; they end up resulting in similar results of empathy.

You know, I haven't fully thought about this... ha! It's very much like how different people may have different motives, but in the end, they take the same action. Doubly highlighting on the fact that internal states and thinking are difficult to infer from based on what you notice externally. All the more amazement I have for how N function can come up with all that instantly.

 

[runvardh]

You know, I haven't fully thought about this... ha! It's very much like how different people may have different motives, but in the end, they take the same action. Doubly highlighting on the fact that internal states and thinking are difficult to infer from based on what you notice externally. All the more amazement I have for how N function can come up with all that instantly.

Yup, type itself is just as much about the paths as it is about the end result.

 

[Valiant]

So, any other INFJs (or NFs) have a problem with keeping other people's feelings out of their system?

I swear every time someone in a bad mood walks into the same room as me I automatically feel it. It is troublesome and annoying; It always sits in the back of my mind. I am able to ignore it, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Of course it has its perks when someone is in a great mood. Literally contagious.

When people do something embarrassing I feel just as embarrassed as they do. My face will heat up and everything. Even if it's just on TV.

Dude, I know EXACTLY what you mean. It's so damn annoying that one is so tuned in to other people sometimes. But then again, it's better than being a cold son of a bitch. =)

 

[vince]

haha your avatar is godlike.
& I agree with what you said. The world needs more NFs...snif

 

[wolfmaiden14]

I think what you've described is what I interpret empathy is. No crazy voodoo mind reading ability yet! Aren't you glad?

It's being able to feel and understand why somebody else is feeling that way. I've heard an analogy of "sympathy is like stepping down in the hole with someone, where as empathy is standing at the edge and offering a hand to pull the person out". I guess it doesn't exactly relate, but it's not a direct you feel this and so I feel that. For me is more like you feel happy and it shows from the way you describe how you're planning to go on a trip, and I get excited in your shoes as I imagine the fun stuff you can do. Kind of what you said in your post.

Yes, exactly. Cascade, all you're doing, to me, is breaking down the steps of HOW it effects us. Though.. I guess there is the difference. You see their feelings and let it affect your thoughts.. I tend to go like nightning, putting myself in that person's place. Like.. I had a friend who got to meet and talk to a huuuge role model of his for acting. While I'm not much into the acting field(though I'd like to be more), nor had any similar experiences of meeting a hero, I could still imagine the inspiration and joy he would feel, I could understand the way it would feel if it WOULD have happened to me, and thus share in his joy. So..maybe that is more empathy than just a reminder of thoughts with similar connotations.

 

[cascadeco]

I like how nightning put it!

I think much of what I was attempting to describe was nightning's analogy - just that I don't go down into the hole with the other person.

The other thing I was describing was slightly different - it was less of the 1:1 empathy/resonance thing, I think, and more of the fact that I tend to be impacted by the moods/environment/'group vibes' surrounding me.

Combining the two: If I'm with people who are emitting positive emotions, I'll both empathize AND the positive emotions will in turn cause my internal state to become more positive. If I'm with someone who is emitting more negative emotions, I'll both empathize AND the negative emotions may then cause my internal state to become more negative, in the sense that my thoughts may turn towards similar topics.

Eh, I'm confusing myself now. :rolli:

 

[OctaviaCaesar]

You've got it, Cascademn! Amen!

 

[Theory]

I suppose that some ENFJs might be more inclined to focus on the group perspective rather than on the individual (being extroverted and all), but I'm actually the exact opposite. Granted, groups are easy for me to understand, but I am much more empathetic when it comes to individuals. One person's problems will affect me so much more deeply than a given population's problems. I like dealing with specific, individual human beings more than whole groups... for what reason I'm not sure. Maybe it's because I'm more interested in humanity and what real people are like rather than groupthink. Maybe that's why I didn't really like sociology.

...Or maybe this makes me a really screwed-up ENFJ?

 

[alcea rosea]

I usually have a problem in finding out the source of energy leaching or the person who "gave" me the bad feelings. How could I improve myself in scanning these kind of people from a larger group?

 

[wedekit]

Wow, lots of replies. Sorry I couldn't reply sooner! Finals week and everything.

Yeah, so I'm glad to see there are lots of people who experience this. Sometimes I'm tempted just to see how accurate I am when someone comes to me with a problem. I just want to sat what my instincts tell me and see if I am right. Most of the time I am, but I've never tried to put the words into their mouth and see if it fits. Hmmm... :onders::

 

[gretch]

This is how I figured out my brother was an INFJ. HE can read people's emotions so well. And just imagine having no emotional boundaries.

 

[wedekit]

I think this "ability" is why I'm going down the Psychology route... Experimental Psychology for human behavior and personality really interests me. (If there was more of a demand I would totally be a Forensic Psychologist/Profiler. THAT could be interesting.)

I think I'm too much of an introvert (explanation, not an excuse) to put myself through meeting new people all the time and having to talk to them about [...]. I could imagine myself becoming too much of an emotional garbage dump. So I'm currently considering going to grad school for Research/Experimental Psychology, and I'm aiming for a Doctorate. I could do research and teach a couple of classes at a University. I think I would make a good teacher... or I at least hope so.

 

[gretch]

I think this "ability" is why I'm going down the Psychology route... Experimental Psychology for human behavior and personality really interests me. (If there was more of a demand I would totally be a Forensic Psychologist/Profiler. THAT could be interesting.)

I think I'm too much of an introvert (explanation, not an excuse) to put myself through meeting new people all the time and having to talk to them about [...]. I could imagine myself becoming too much of an emotional garbage dump. So I'm currently considering going to grad school for Research/Experimental Psychology, and I'm aiming for a Doctorate. I could do research and teach a couple of classes at a University. I think I would make a good teacher... or I at least hope so.

Keirsey does call this type the counselor

 

[grasshoppersings]

I see, said the blind man. I hear ya, said the deaf-mute. I feel ya, said the INFJ

So, any other INFJs (or NFs) have a problem with keeping other people's feelings out of their system?

I swear every time someone in a bad mood walks into the same room as me I automatically feel it. It is troublesome and annoying; It always sits in the back of my mind. I am able to ignore it, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Of course it has its perks when someone is in a great mood. Literally contagious.

Hi everybody, This is my first posting. I was thankful to read the above quote about feeling others' moods as soon as they walk into the room. I am an INFJ and I feel/sense people's emotions/feelings/motivations so much that it can be maddening/overloading/shocking or just euphoric.

I am so glad to finally understand that intuition (just looking at someone and knowing what's going on in their heart/mind) and introverted (deep thinking things through before speaking) are the cause of all this because for a while there I thought people were just going crazy around me. There is so much relational, emotional, spiritual drama in the world!

I mean in my own family especially I hear the words coming out of their mouths but I sense a totally opposite vibe coming across and I am in a confused state trying to figure out if I should respond to their mixed messages or just one or the other. Some people are so into denial that they would never acknowledge their true feelings to you anyway so I suppose it's better to go with the words they say. But then I have to go and read between the lines to see what it is they are really trying to say without having said it and it gets so complicated.

For my whole life I wondered why people kept sending me mixed messages and now I know that my INFJ personality is the reason I am so in tune with people's complexities and incongruencies. I still dont really know how to deal with the conflicting information/vibes/words that I get from people.

I try my best to keep everything in harmony around me for my relationships but these folks who dont mean what they say or dont say what they mean make communication almost a joke instead of a way to bring intimacy, understanding, and comfort. When all else fails I usually find a quiet solitude place to get away and try to let things and people sort themselves out, like I hope they will. It takes so much effort and energy to try to get people to get along and help each other or at least listen to each other.

My Big Dream in life is to use my giftings/strengths (intuition, imagination, empathy and my poetic writing skills) to write poems, songs and stories to reach people stuck in denial so that they can admit they have a problem and GOD can begin to heal them.

It is absolutely true that no matter what your problem is be it psychological, behavoral, chemical, or social, you can improve, get better, and be cured given the right personalized loving treatment. The Word of God says that Nothing is impossible with God. That is unless you have a little thing called denial. If you have denial about a problem, then there is no way to get better. That is why my arch enemy in dreamland/real life is the giant named denial. Look out giant. This means war and this grasshopper is hopping mad!

Thank you, GOD, for bringing the victory because without your mercy, grace, and love we would be a bunch of hopeless dust particles taking off in the wind. Jesus loves setting people free. He is supposedly an INFJ. Whether he was an INFJ or a little bit of every letter combination (GOD is everything good in the creation), his ability to feel an individual's pain and help them come to the truth and get healed is the most endearing quality any hero could have.

I remain, your INFJ friend on the internet.

 

[wolfmaiden14]

Yes! It is very difficult to feel the problems that others don't even realize they have yet. >< And I totally wish you luck, that's a beautiful goal, and in the cosmic sense we can work together. XD Because I want to be a counselor to help those who have accepted their denial and want help to take the next step. So you reach to those people's hearts and then I'll help them bring their real self out!

INFJs UNITE! ..or something like that. Haha.

Anyway, you're in good company.

 

[INTJMom]

So, any other INFJs (or NFs) have a problem with keeping other people's feelings out of their system?

I swear every time someone in a bad mood walks into the same room as me I automatically feel it. It is troublesome and annoying; It always sits in the back of my mind. I am able to ignore it, but that doesn't mean it's not there. Of course it has its perks when someone is in a great mood. Literally contagious.

When people do something embarrassing I feel just as embarrassed as they do. My face will heat up and everything. Even if it's just on TV.

I am partially INFJ. I used to experience this a lot more, but I have implemented a principle I call "not taking up other peoples' offenses". I refuse to let myself get emotionally involved in someone else's feelings when they're mad at someone. I just don't have the energy for that, I'm not part of the problem or the solution.

However, I do naturally gravitate toward other people in the room who are hurting emotionally or physically. It doesn't bother me that I do that. I just accept it. I think it's good to care about other people.

 

[INTJMom]

It's Fe in action for you... although I sometimes wonder why INFJ not ENFJ should be called the empath seeing as Fe is their dominant... *scratches head*

Very much like you... my emotions are easily influenced by other people and things. I end up crying watch TV/movies over silly stuff...

I even cry when animated characters cry!!

 

[arcticangel02]

I suppose that some ENFJs might be more inclined to focus on the group perspective rather than on the individual (being extroverted and all), but I'm actually the exact opposite. Granted, groups are easy for me to understand, but I am much more empathetic when it comes to individuals. One person's problems will affect me so much more deeply than a given population's problems. I like dealing with specific, individual human beings more than whole groups... for what reason I'm not sure. Maybe it's because I'm more interested in humanity and what real people are like rather than groupthink. Maybe that's why I didn't really like sociology.

...Or maybe this makes me a really screwed-up ENFJ?

Me too. I'm much more engaged, involved and empathetic one-on-one as opposed to in a group situation, despite the extraversion *shrug* For whatever reason, I am not terribly concerned with global issues, like poverty and the like, but I'll drop everything to help a friend out who's in need.

Although I don't think I get it as strongly as INFJs might (I don't feel like I get overwhelmed by any strong emotion that walks through the door), I definitely feel very uncomfortable (to the point of feeling upset myself) about not doing anything when there's a person in the room that's hurting (emotionally or physically), even when I know that nothing I can do can help.

And similarly, I'm definitely more upbeat when the people I'm around are cheerful and optimistic. I feed off that energy and emotion.