[ENFJ] ENFJs, when you say words like "I miss you", do you mean it?

[EricHanson]

ENFJs, most of the time, when you say words like "I miss you," or general words that show you care, do you mean them, or are you just saying that because you are using your Fe? Lets say you make a video where you sing to the other person about how much you care for them, generally, would you do that just because or would you do that because you really care deeply?

Do you find yourself carefully choosing your words often or do you just say them?

 

[TopherRed]

Context is everything. Fe can be formal and polite. Or it can be genuinely gushy. It depends who I'm talking to and why.

 

[Unkindloving]

Earlier in my life, i would casually throw out "i miss you" and "i love you". Ah, youth. I did grow out of that. I even withdrew from saying it back to my best female friends.
The most tempting time to say or do certain things is when it is prompted, whether it is really meant or not. If i say or do something spontaneously it's a far better sign that it's thoroughly meant.

Sometimes things do slip through or my actions can be taken a certain way based on the person receiving it. ENFJs tend to be intense so i think there could be a fairly clear difference that needs to be looked out for.

 

[toast]

ENFJs, most of the time, when you say words like "I miss you," or general words that show you care, do you mean them, or are you just saying that because you are using your Fe? Lets say you make a video where you sing to the other person about how much you care for them, generally, would you do that just because or would you do that because you really care deeply?

Do you find yourself carefully choosing your words often or do you just say them?

I used to be bad about just saying things in my head, whether I felt them or not. If I judged them to be honest because I knew I did love the person, I would say "I love you" even when I didn't feel an urge to because of feeling it. I do choose what I say more carefully now.

If I say "I miss you..." I mean it & feel it. If I say: "I miss you too." I mean it but don't necessarily feel it at that moment in time. I just know that I have missed you, and will. Seems awkward to say "I've missed you too."

Oh, and using my Fe is how I feel things. Most feelings I consider genuine come from expressing what I know my Fi feels (but I cannot directly access) through Fe. By expressing it, I recognize it, & I feel it.

 

[JoSunshine]

I typically don't say things I don't mean unless I am absolutely shoved into a corner and blatant honesty would be devastating (and I mean really hurtful) to the other person - in which case I evade the question. If I volunteer information, you had best believe I mean it!

 

[Yloh]

I generally don't miss people, but I do miss people every now and then. I normally don't say "I miss you" to anyone. Instead I say "It is nice to see you again" or "It has been a long time".

 

[TopherRed]

Saying "I miss you" to anyone outside of our inner-most circle is foolish in our minds as ENFJs. That's like saying "I believe in gumdrops and lollipops, and that we should all each other. Awwww." That's the INFP's place. They're saying, we're doing.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Saying "I miss you" to anyone outside of our inner-most circle is foolish in our minds as ENFJs. That's like saying "I believe in gumdrops and lollipops, and that we should all each other. Awwww." That's the INFP's place. They're saying, we're doing.

Whaaaaa?

 

[Gamine]

Whaaaaa?

Too funny.

 

[BlueFlame]

ENFJs, most of the time, when you say words like "I miss you," or general words that show you care, do you mean them, or are you just saying that because you are using your Fe? Lets say you make a video where you sing to the other person about how much you care for them, generally, would you do that just because or would you do that because you really care deeply?

Do you find yourself carefully choosing your words often or do you just say them?

Er, I probably don't mean them as deeply as some might assume. I very rarely really feel the long-term feeling of missing someone. It usually just pops into my head that I haven't seen someone in a while and I'd like to see them, so out come the words! I guess I mean them in the moment, but I could see how someone could read way too much into my impulsive emoting.
Overall, though, my *impulsive emoting* is strictly reserved for people I care about, so it's never void of caring.

I can't form a cohesive thought for anything today...

 

[Little Linguist]

It depends. Sometimes I keep social conventions. Sometimes I mean it.

This sounds awful, but sometimes you have to say certain things to keep the peace, avoid offense, or to have a good atmosphere. This is particularly true with family and work.

However, with my husband, people I trust, or really close friends, I open up and express myself genuinely.

With people I don't care about, I don't care as much for social conventions, especially if I'm just chatting or something.

 

[kasabian]

ENFJs are really situational (is that a word??) with their emotional expression.

 

[syndatha]

Er, I probably don't mean them as deeply as some might assume. I very rarely really feel the long-term feeling of missing someone. It usually just pops into my head that I haven't seen someone in a while and I'd like to see them, so out come the words! I guess I mean them in the moment, but I could see how someone could read way too much into my impulsive emoting.
Overall, though, my *impulsive emoting* is strictly reserved for people I care about, so it's never void of caring.

I can't form a cohesive thought for anything today...

I can relate to this

 

[Glycerine]

I think ENFJs mean it to at least to some extent but people can sometimes take it for more than its worth.

For example, I ran into one of my old ENFJ teachers.
Teacher: Hi Pitseleh
Me: Hey Mr. _____! How's it going?
(chit chat for awhile)
Me: I should come see you during office hours once or twice.
Teacher: Yeah you should.... (in a whisper) I miss you.
Me (thinking): What? That's really creepy. OH YEAH! He's most likely an ENFJ so
i shouldn't read too much in it. That's just the way he is.
Me: Yeah same to you!